Munching Carpet Samples
14. Dec, 2004 
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– The O.C. juss upped the ante on its own uber-hotness: Marissa Barfon to embark on a thespian lesbian relationship with poor man’s Jenna Jameson/Seth’s crush, Olivia Wilde!!!! Good, maybe after the donuts bounce a few times, Jenna J Lite will get run over by a bus or get shot by the manager of The Arcade Fire at the Bait Shop! [via Seeking Iron-E]
– Speaking of slurping tuna tacos… Ellen DeGeneres has stolen Ringo Starr’s step-daughter’s lesbian lover! And for good reason, it’s Portia de Rossi!
– Colin Farrell and Lindsay Lohan banging? Their children would have the creamiest of thighs and the nastiest of eyebrows.
– Google now has the ability to read your mind! [via Cubicle Hater]
– I thought I’d never live to see the day that Blockbuster dumps its late fees!
– Man breaks marathon record… on a treadmill! [via Mr Poon]
– Practice saying this before you order one: Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper. [via the Erect Donkeys]
– X-Entertainment supplies grrrrrreat holiday adverts of ye olden thymes.
– Take your magnifying glass, and go burn stuff up! Sounds like a bad Limp Bizkit song, eh? [via Ciffle Ceffle Caviffle]
– On January 5th at the Museum del Moving Image, there will be a special screening of A Very Long Engagement, followed by a discussion with its director, Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie, City of Lost Children). Call (718) 784-4520 for tickets ($18 public/$12 Museum members).
– Michelle’s franztastic review of last week’s ep of Desperate Housewives reminds me how lazy I’ve become. Anyone yearn for the days when I’d write 4 billion trillion (+ or – a trillion) words about Webster and Vanilla Ice instead of microwaved tunafish?
– Wanna be a Green Bay Packer shareholder? Well, yer probably too late, but here’s the history of it.
– Surgeons remove 90 metal objects, including keys, screw drivers, and nails, from a 22-year-old’s stomach!
– And since there hasn’t been any Cuthy Cuthbertenson news for ages, I’m going to make some up: Cuthbert Admits That She Loves Thigh Master More Than Corn AND PORN!
Add ons…
– The Pixies definitely rock, but they are so borrrrrrrrring in concert. The fake trees they have holding the lights have more stage presence than they do. At least I still have the fond memories of their Coahcella performance… when I downed 15 chocolate-covered-frozen-banananananas.
– I’m back rockin Atkins and losing weight, so therefore I eat more MacDougals than Morgan Spurlock. Last nite after demolishing 3 double cheeseburgers, Megbot and I wondered what the buns tasted like without the meat. We tooks some bites (but no swallows) and they still taste just like a McDonald’s burger. And I thinks to meself, what a wonderful world.
