Gwynie Grows Girth

Gwen’s biggest meal of the day consists of air and water.

Gwyneth Palt-ho & Coldplay wuss, Chris Martin (even his name is boring), are expecting a stork delivery this summer. Their child will be born with anorexia. I sure hope they feed him/her. Remember kids, meat isn’t murder, it’s scrumdeliumptious!! Anywho, although she is actually pregnant, Gwynie still looks like she weighs 64 pounds! Golly gosh, if only she could be my wife and permanently wear dope-ass Lacoste polos, like she did in The Royal Tenenbaums, and cook me bacon for every meal. Hmmmmmmmm… Paltrow.

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