Thighs Wide Shut

Mrs Henderson Presents
Not To Be Confused With The Boob Movie!!
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Dude, all I have to say write is: Dame Judi Dench, a tit load of tits, and Bob Hoskins’ furry b-day suit.

Recommended for those who like: yams, cans, jugs, and DAMES, and naked wookies named Bob Hoskins!!

Possible Porno Name: Mrs Henderson Prevents Hairy Bush

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix the Emily Hottimer jazzlecise Bright Young Things, or Showgirls, if yer feelin Verhoevenish

Apt MPupil3: ‘Vera’ by Pink Floyd [d-lode]

Picture Pages: Florence Henderson presents herself [NSFW]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers, although it was almost Breast In Show if Breast In Show was solely based on breasts per minute of screentime divided by hair pie R squared

The New World
Not So A-Maize-‘n
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The first thirty minutes, pure cinema. The rest? Oh, juss the latest snooze-o-rama from director Terrence Malick, including, but not the limited too: the love story boring of Walk The Line, with less guitars and more Pocahontas selling Land o’ Lakes whilst being chased and bedded by Colin Farrell and Christian Bale thru fields of corn, also known as maize, but not Maze in your face, or null space [d-lode Anime theme song madness NOW, + JUNKY BOY too!]. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Actually the movie colonized itself when Captain Georg von Trapp left Colin Farrell in charge of America while he went back to England for shitty weather and dentistry! AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! He calls up his buddies Kid Rock and Scott Stapp and they start filming Girl Gone Bukkake 2112, in the NEW WORLD!! OH SNAP! Insert some native Americans, and presto, zzzzzzzzzzz with native Americans!

Recommended for those who like: the Apoclaptpo trailer, Chief Wahoo, or kinfolk of Jewel, of photobooth NSFWness fame

Possible Porno Name: The Prude Girl Visits The Nude World

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Master And Commander: The Far Side of the World

Apt MPupil3: ‘Hail To The Redskins’ by The Redskins Band [d-lode via That Guy]

Picture Pages: thanks to Google I know now now know that The Thin Red Zzzzz is nuttin but a 2nd-rate Señor Spielbergo cigarrillo del marajuana

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Wisconsin Badgers

Wonder if her on-screen beau/soul man, C Thomas Howell, picked up any crotch-mouthed goatee grooming tips from Desperate Housewives‘ crotch-mouthed goatee resident Carlos

Blessed be you Daniel Snyder, the new King of the Jews, and your King of the Jews money that you shoot out of your hands, like Spiderman, and mcgrab anyone you want for your fantasy squad/my Redskins. May the gadget plays be with us… and TWS.org as well, which ranks 2nd in ‘gadget play’ intersleuthing

Poopied be you Twerps, who blow worser than a 36 minute Andy Warhol movie. Is it football season yet?

Bye bye Boom Boom, for without he, there would be no (non-musical) Hanson brothers, + a mucho belated parking of the life of shaftman Gordon Parks

Jon Stewart, the next Andy Rooney? Dan Rather not or so?

Quite amazed that only 30ish seconds were dedicated to characters watching movies and/or television on last night’s season premmy of The Sopranos, and cause of it, I’ve got opto-mizzum for whats to come… although going fwd, I hope we see less of Maradona‘s cocksmoking doppleganger. As for that new show that followed it… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz fest to the mth degree!!! Sorry, but not even Jeanne Trippletits [NSFW] can save it, or even if they had this girl with three boobies [NSFW]. All-dough they do get + 1 gold stars for having Nap Dyna‘s Deb working at a place called Deb’s

Yous a male and have a bunch of brothers? Yer most likely gay, and therefore will probably have a great shot at creating an insanely popular blog

Czech accountant, Jana Tylova, becomethes the first ever Countess Soduku at the WSPC. CZECH out JT with the rest of her country’s squad…

Don’t know who’ll be driving, but I’m ready to let the good times roll again [Spork Stealer]

How do u take your NSFW d’Abo? Maryam or Olivia?

Speaking of… He May Be A Demented, Twisted, Compulsively Masturbating Shitbag, But He’s Our Demented, Twisted, Compulsively Masturbating Shitbag

Top Ten Worst SNL Cast Members of All Time [MogillaMask]

If you only look at one pictorial review of The Hills Have Eyes, make it this one

Ugly Duke girls try to dispel ugly Duke girl myth [Gulf of Sonkin]

Where video games go when they die [Lief Ericsson’s Posse]

Whose Boobs (Strikes Back) Part 2

Something for the lizadies: lots of wet men, by way of Rammstein’s latest video [NSFW]

[WTFOMGZ!]
The Albino Code, starring everyone’s other favorite albino

Past Champions from the World Livestock Auctioneer C’ships

Juicy Fruit ads will never be dullski with Mr Z de la Roachclip’s dang right copy

Fity more of these and we may juss achieve peace in the Middle East: a 12 foot plate of hummus [Lil Red Honey Rider’s Hood]

Fity bottles of these and I may actually get laid: Whiff, the poop odor eliminator

‘Forever Young’ – Alphaville [d-lode]

On The Menu Today: Horse Penis And Testicles With A Chilli Dip [L-ism]

‘God came down from Heaven and made people quote Fletch‘

How To Make A Duct Tape Wallet

paintmeblue’s photos

CILF (it’s like MILF, but with corn!) [BVSC]

How do you says I want to de-core your apple in Russian? [NSFW]

Hoth to host the the Winter Olympics in 2014? …so that’s what all those probe droids were really doing, scouting for giant slalom and super-g locales! [1st site soundy vis World Wide Wangsta]

And if there really is a Gawd, then HE’ll never let our mos flavorite Druish America Princess, Sasha Cohen, and her nude naked camel toe, crossbreed with any of the following (bruce) suitors

[via Baroness SC]
Bonus: snapples from LA’s Lebowski Fest, including one with Edie McClurg on washboard!

and the poster THEY didn’t want you to see for last nite’s hepisode

Kornheiser in ’08

South Carolina (and their Muslim flag) 4EVA: first Nancy O’Dell Day and now they’ve declared that it is not indecent exposure when breast-feeding in public!!

Pastrami Burger, yes please, I’ll take 14

And while the rest of yous are sucking the dong of the Steelers Super Nerd Sunday XL, I’m pulling for the city who’ve never won a Supers Bowls, let alone been to one Super Camilla Parker Bros Bowles. GO SEACOCKS!!! KA-KAAAAAH!!! I mean, if the Redskins can’t beat em, no one can.

And oh yeah

Yep, Wimpy’s wet dream cum tru: the In ‘n’ Out 100×100 Burger [via Thinkerville]

Streaking of, me bee leaves Popeye is the only known comic strip to begat TWO fast food dump holes: Popeyes (snatchurally) & Wimpy. (three if you include this Boston Cantina named after Ms Oyl)

Peace the ford escort out to 60 Minutes & on-screen graphics pioneer Arthur Bloom, and to the band whom I thought would own the 00s, but never lived up to their thumcrdible potentialble, like Lunchables, after the release of the opus The Sophtware Slump, Grandaddy. A moment of silence, followed by listenage to G-dad’s ‘AM 180’ [decaf or live, via GVB], which for some reason always puts me in mood to ransack a grocery store with huggdorable British black chicks twenty-eight days after stuff happens!!

And war the spoon in to solo side projects by The REAL FF’s Matt Friedberger!! Not that I don’t love sistah Fried, but me hath always desired to hear more of yer voice, and since Eleanor can only sing, and put her boots back on [d-lode via AVC vs AVP], I didn’t think this desire would have hathed!!

Gorillaz live in concert, or whatever you call it (hopefully I’ll see it at Coachella)

Got a 11-14 yr-ld boy or a 10-12 yr-ld girl with dreams of becoming Noah Baumbach’s next Chicken or Pickle? Crick here for casting call infos for Mr Squid/Whale‘s next spliff

Her Future Royal Thighness, Camilla Belle, wants to hear from you, AOL-IM: Jill020306 | phone numba: 1-877-467-7674… juss don’t tell her that she smells like poo

How did Rick Moranis’ country career slide thru the eyes and ears of the Thighs Spies and their spears?

Stranger Than Fiction?

Math that would make a TI-81 hexplode into two, aka two TI-40.5s:

Anderson Cooper + Richard Kind = Bill Kristol
1, 2, 3, Look at Mr Lee. 3, 4, 5, Oscar night, look for his hand to jive! Maybe now his Hulk will get the ‘spect it deserves (sands 10 min finale with Notle as Electro-Pointless-Man)

‘Mr Lee’ by The Bobbettes [d-lode via Punio]

And its sequel (WHAT?) ‘I Shot Mr Lee’ by The Bobbettes [d-lode on JSpence]

Together at last, hispecially for you idjiots who had no idea that the two were related: Citizen Kane & the Stripes homage ‘The Union Forever’

Remember the Alamo, and Corgan on ECW

Look out Nuclear Bob, cause yer reign as overweight facial hair guy with the killer tees may be over: Bruce Vilanch T-Shirt Watch

Apple’s home pages along the years [via Modern Rager Against the Coke Machine]…

and still, their finest achievement is not the iPod, but the Lemonade Stand game [which u can find 4 d-lode here]

and while were taking a bite into/out of the dumbestist computer brand that isn’t a Wang, and who has only sir-vived today cause of those iPod things (I mean, they JUSS figured out the whole right mouse button bestness), here the ad that’s more IN-famous than El Guapo [aud], the 1984 Ridley Scottiefied Macintosh Super Bowl commercial

Redskins fans… being Redskins fans [vid via Gulf on Sonkin]

Janet Reno rox out, and so does lil Doorbeller [vids via JJ Muldoon’s/Mod Squad, again]

What’s so great about the Dewey Decimal System?

‘The Godamned Dutch’, one of the two mos popular songs sung at IU (?), as sung by John Frushour [wtf via Newcomeallovermyface]

Tis be so awful that I shouldn’t even dignify it with a linky poo, (dave) butttttz: Lazy Monday [vid via Lohanjealous]

Sometimes love of hate is better than hate of love: $225 for an XFL He Hate Me Jersey

Widow of Death In Benihana Shrimp Toss Faults Restaurant [via Brawny Man]

Splinter was a man, and Mrs Peacock too? WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!!! [2nd one an aud]

And although the love below is usually reserved for bouncy babes from here and abroad (oh lord, how i love dem broads!), doing tres hot things like getting licked by another woman, like Ms Pinder (appy polly lodges for the kinda sorta NSFW)

Today I would like to dedicate and entrusting all my usual pent-up en-thrusting behind the single white female greatestiest video logo to ever come from 1978, the WGBH one. You know which one I speak of, right? Its gots that noise thing that goes brudaddadoodadoo dad dooo dododdevvabvjfwssa!! Na? Well, if you’ve ever seen anything on PBS thats either boring, or boring, or both than you’ve heard that duhvavavdoo doouvavddooo noise thing!!! If not, here’s a snap of it, a link to the vid, and the aud file for your mp3/mash-upping pleasure (maybe mixed with Pat O’Brien, Rosie O’Donnell, and Howard Dean in an aural threesome to end all threesomes and things aural). Free tote bags for some, minature American flags for all!!

[vid | aud]
Right? duooouvdvadvav dobbiedadeovraad doom!

And an oldie, but still a good n plenty

Freaking of, I think it was about thyme we had ourselves another one of dem Photoshop me corn head contests!!! This time there’s a theme: HISTORY. So take this, and these broken wings, learn to fly again, and let the magic begin. Winner gets a package of FUN stuff!! All submissions are due by next Thursday, the 26th by 11:01 PM EST (right after TV’s Invasion ends, and the William Fitchner fanta-sees begin!)

PHEWWWWWWW!!!! Call off Leonard Smalls!!! The Arizona (née Huffhines) quintuplets are safe para todos los dias!!!

I heart you Kaitlin Cooper

Gunnar and Matthew Nelson (aka Nelson) will be performing some of their father Ricky’s songs after a screening of a doc about his life, which was directed by Taylor Hackford, who is far from being a hack, at the Musée d’Tele & Radio next Tuesday. No word if there’ll be a Father Dowling Mysteries reunion with T-Bos and Gunnar and M-dawg’s sister Tracy, who was sorta like the OG Michelle Gellar

Why does the Archdukes ‘Outsiders’ [d-lode] sound like a lamer 2005 NEW EDITION (DeVoe) of Oingo Boingo [wma proof] ?

Sometimes I forget funny things, and sometimes Ms Ism remembers them for me

Do you still own/use a VCR?

And if yer able to bring yer cpu into the shitter then Wikipedia(the fastest growing bestness site in the solar system (next to NUH.8k.com)’s Borat entry is the greatest shitter matz since Strunk & White AND Blanche Knott!!!! I mean, where else you gonna learn that the man who’s sister was awarded ‘best sex in mouth’ by the Almaty Chamber of Commerce has never washed his trademark suit? Or since Borat.KZ PTFO (peaced the fork out) that it has since been reborn as Borat.TV? Or mos pier one importantly: BORAT could be MAHIR 2.0. The similarities are so similar that this case that was never opened is now closed.

Kids, this Sunday marks the 2nd to last weekend of FOOOTBALLL(!?go steel-town?!) til the dog daze of summer roberts. Lettuce all revel in America’s FINEST sport (not up for debate cause the NBA blows goats, cept they do have those Ali G spots) and get more blottoed than Joe Namath humping Suzie Kolber’s leg. I KISS YOU!!!