Thighs Wide Shut

when The Post mixes with the Bruno in the mix bowl that be our brains, you get our anal-ual this thing…

OUT	IN
Caroline Kennedy	Kennedy Fried Chicken
Bailouts	Christian Bale’s annoying Batman voice
JJ ABRAMS	ee cummings
Blair & Chuck	Chuck & Buck
One-Eyed Willy	Chilly Willie The Penguin
Twist Endings	Twistys.com*
Blur reunion rumors	an actual Blur reunion
Chipotle Farts	Nick Nolte’s Farts
The American Recession	The Vienna Secession
Tainted Love	Tainted Taints
girls wanting more SATC	girls wanting more nut sack
Keith David	David Keith
The Bermuda Triangle	The Triangle Below Canal Street
Saucer Eyes	Saucer Thighs
Frost/Nixon	Nixon/Frost
Men Who Look Like Lesbians	Lesbians Who Look Like Thespians
hating Boston sports	hating Boston Baked Beans
riding Eeyore	riding Jillian Beyor*
The US Open	The US Closed
Zooey Deschanel	Zoe Kazan
Wii The People	X-Box Munching
Thighs Wide Shut	Pies Chide Smut
David Foster Wallace	Dee Wallace
Zardoz	Zubaz
She Hate Me	He Hates These Cans
Whitney Port	Port Wine Cheese
going off on a tangent	going on off a cosine
Katy Perry	Perry Katie
Nazi-Themed Movies	Yahtzee-Themed Movies
Pinkberry	Tackleberry
$5 foot longs	$4.99 foot longs
The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again	The Apple Dumpling Gang Bangs, Again

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ‘006, the ‘007 and the ‘008

and here’s what was in/out back in 1994

[Visual Culture and Health Posters]

the bowel moment you haven’t been weighting fore:

Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords | Les Chansons d’Amour Soundtrack± | Beck – Modern Guilt | Gnarls Barkley – The Odd Couple | MGMT – Oracular Spectacular | R.E.M. – Accelerate | The Streets – Everything Is Borrowed | The Raconteurs – Consolers Of The Lonely | Neil Diamond – Home Before Dark

* that’s 9 out of the total 13 albums we listened to this past year. yeah, we’re pretty far removed from the musiq seen these days. too many movies. too many boobies. and who has time to waste listening to hot new bands that will release one amazing album and follow it up with zero good albums (MGMT is the exception cause they rule wethinks/wehopes)? the 14 year old version of the Thigh Master would be so upset with today’s 89 year old Thigh Master. we used to know the names of songs. we also used to drink 3 Cokes and eat a whole giant bag of chips 3 hours before dinner and then eat a full dinner. the moral of the story? life is hammazin, regardless of age, it’s juss different, different like strokes can be, and when you’re young, eat chips and drink Coke as much as you can cause you never know when you’ll have time to overindulge like that again, let alone have time to discover new music when there are so many other distractions in this day and age like Mickey Rourke’s broken face, baby Suri’s haircut, Jillian Beyor’s rack, string cheese, and the NFL playoffs, even if your team’s already been eliminated cause the NFL can’t lose even more than Parker Lewis can’t

± it was released in France in 2007, but we weren’t in France in 2007, so don’t give us any grief or be an au bon pain in the arse

Another Way To Die – Jack White & Alicia Keys [d]
Black President – Nas [d]
Child In Time – Deep Purple [d]
(we 4got to include it on our bestest of 1970)
Delta Charlie Delta – Louis Garrel [d]
Disco Lies – Moby [d]
Don’t Go There – Neil Diamond [d]
Everyday It’s 1989 – Moby [d]
Белый Плащик – t.A.T.u. [d]
Going On – Gnarls Barkley [d]
Heaven For The Weather – The Streets [d]
Inner City Pressure – Flight of The Conchords [d]
Jizz In My Pants – The Lonely Island [d]
(which is like a low rent ‘Inner City Pressue’)
Legal Assassin – Anthony Stewart Head [d]
Lost! – Coldplay [d]
Low – Flo Rida ft T-Pain [d]
Mercy – Duffy [d]
Ooh Yeah – Moby [d]
Opening Theme Music – John Adams miniseries [d]
Rock El Casbah – Rachid Taha [d]
Smell Yo Dick – Riskay [d]
SOS – Pierce Brosnan [d]
Supernatural Superserious – R.E.M. [d]
The Return Of… – Supergrass [d]
The Switch and the Spur – The Raconteurs [d]
Time To Pretend – MGMT [d]
Walls – Beck [d]
Yes Man – Munchausen By Proxy [d]
You Me and the Bourgeoise – The Submarines [d]

and since we obviously don’t know shiz from shinola about today’s music we’ve decided to post our man Ashman (who’s a better looking young Josh Baskin)’s list o’ single hotness

I Woke Up Today – Port O’Brien
You – Atmosphere
Do The Panic – Phantom Planet
Hang On – Dr. Dog
Dying Is Fine – Ra Ra Riot
Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
Furr – Blitzen Trapper
Great Expectations – The Gaslight Anthem
Now I’m A Fool – Eagles Of Death Metal
Skinny Love – Bon Iver
Little Bit of Feel Good – Jamie Lidell
Gettin’ Up – Q-Tip
Brand New Start – Little Joy
I Need A Life – Born Ruffians
Two Ways Out – Darker My Love
Mr. Carter – Lil Wayne
Warwick Avenue – Duffy
I Was Made For You – She & Him
Sure Hope You Mean It – Raphael Saadiq
Soul On Fire – Spiritualized

Beck @ Unite Palace Theater
Flight of the Conchords @ Town Hall
Gnarls Barkley @ Irving Plaza
Jarvis Cocker @ Terminal 5
Neil Diamond @ MSG
Paul Simon & Friends Under African Skies @ BAM
Rock The Bells @ Jones Beach
Stevie Wonder @ Jones Beach
The Raconteurs @ Terminal 5

those who forget the rast are doomed to pepeat it

’07
’06
’05
’04
’03

long live Peaches!

Harry Potter Poster Mash-Up Gallery

Star Wars Poster Mash-Up Gallery …all dough we’re none to happy that someone ripped off our Look Who’s Tarkin photochop