Thighs Wide Shut

– Peace the fork out to Russ Meyer. You gotta love a man who was more obsessed with boobs than me!! I mean his first feature was called The Immoral Mr. Teas for crying out loud. Bovs.

– FUGEES REUNITE (!!!!) at Chappelle’s Block Party!!! Pras can now finally pay his electric bill.

– Cat Stevens Yusuf Islam banned from the US. Probably cause he hasn’t had a decent album since the 70s. [via Navi]

– Barbara Walters bids adieu to John Stossel and his mustache this Friday on 20/20. And bless the men in suits who OKayed this muy bonita chica as her replacement! I wanna run my dedos thru her pelo all noche long.

– Baseball may be coming back to DC! Get a life or a real city Northern Virginia.

– Preview the new R.E.M. album [via ProductShoppeeNYSea]

– Flavor Flav is making it safe once again to wear Viking helmets.

– I wonder what the reserve price was for Mother Nature’s Undercarriage? [via Zach de la Roachclip]

– The mostest flamboyant (read: flaming dr poophole) man ever that also happens to look like Emo Phillips and happens to make fairy costumes can be found here. He makes the Tron Guy look like Jude Law. [via Guns n’ Rosenthal]

– There’s a pre-sale for The Used show at Roseland tomorrow at 10am. The password is ‘memories’

– George Bush covers ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’. [via My Man Marvkus via Black Table via con dios]

– We’re the 3rd most popular link when searching for ‘grundle ball sweat’. My parents must be so proud!!

– When life hands Evan Dando a lemon, I guess he decided it was time to make a new Lemonheads album. Good, cause I’m dying to know if Ray is still shameful after all these years.

– Hilton/Lohan 2004: The T-Shirt!?!?!! Crapsticks!!! Someone beat me to the punch. Anyone interested in Lohan/Dukakis ’08 shirts I have in the works? Also, does anyone know of a better tee place that CafePress?

– Speaking of H.R.Thighness, here’s the only pic I could find of Lohan on the cover of GQ.

– To hell with the Rock, this chick is the real Scorpion King. By the weigh, if yer a Scorpio like me, you rule the world, but you probably already know that.

– Lettuce juss say that this guy wouldn’t make the cut for the animated gif-ted and talented class. [via Penna Pastahead]

– Watch the boy in the background (NSFW) [via Lil White Chapel]

– Man Shoots Wife, Mistakes Her for Monkey. Now that’s love!

Q: What’s the hottiest commercial on TV right now?

A: The Napoleon Dynamite one featuring your Master o Thighs and his humble opinion of the movie (complete with signature monotone voice).

And here’s the backstory for you late bloomerz.

Btw- I’m too lazy, so Box Office Bidness will return next week!

Pic courtesy of Chillary G

Not the kind of whore you’d find in Amsterdam’s red-light district, but a movie whore for my main man Napoleon Dynamite. This is and will probably end up being the funniest movie of 2004. My infatuation with this film began with my first peepage of this masterpiece in late April (see my original review here). I ended up seeing it two more times for free.

The last of those was this past Thursday. My posse and some lucky TWS readers were treated to a real treaty treat. The free shwag (I don’t call free stuff ‘swag’) doled out was the mos supreme-o evs! I loaded up on as much Napoleon stickers, Napoleon trading cards, Napoleon chap-sticks, Vote For Pedro buttons, tater tot t-shirts, and even plastic nunchucks, that my pockets could support. As we exited the theater, there were mounds o’ tater tots and box o’ milks laid out for our vittlenessness. It didn’t end there. As we approached the lobby, the f-in MAN himself (in character) was there interviewing people for some MTV promotion. Being a man of no shame, I o’ course approached him and allowed myself to be filmed. I’m Amish and normally wouldn’t let my soul be captured into a life recording box, but everyone has a breaking point, right? I told him that this was my 3rd time seeing his movie and he noted that he’d only seen The Neverending Story that many times in a theater. I asked him if the Rock Biter was his favorite and he claimed that Falcor was. We parted ways, but I knew we’d be BFF (breast friends forever).

Over the weekend, I felt bad that I had seen the movie for free 3 times, so when Levittown, The Thinker, Gomberino, and myself couldn’t agree on a movie to see, I took one for the team and told em we had to see it. So for the record, I’ve now seen Nap Dyna four times, three for free, and in the process me now own 3 different Nap Dyna related t-shirts. I think I’ll take a breather before seeing it again, but I think my personal best of seeing Pulp Fiction 7 times in a theater will remain untouched. So don’t listen to Ebert kids, just go and see Napoleon Dynamite NOW (or whenever it opens in yer backwater town).