Thighs Wide Shut

Somebody in Sweden came to this site via Google searching for “Lindsay Lohan address to New York, NY.” Sadly, I do not have her address, but here’s my guess at where she lives:

Lindsay Lohan, Esq

72654365223 Princess Hotness Court

Queens, NY 90210

This was LL’s reaction when I
told her that she rocked!

This posting is in honor of the The Bad News Bears.

The Good News Bears

– This summer los Beastie Boys will release their follow-up to 1998’s Hello Nasty with 15 new tunes on something called To the 5 Boroughs. The Thigh Master is a bit skeptical with song names like “Ch-Check It Out”, “The Brouhaha”, and “Shazam!” This album could end up in the ugly news by the time it is released. Please note: “Shazam!” has no relation to Shaquille O’Neal’s sophomore effort, Kazaam, which is currently the 20th worst movie ever, as voted by IMDB users. Thanks to Ash Thursday I’m In Love for the B-Boy tidbitz.

– Looks like there will be a Simpsons movie after all! Yeardley Smith sez the writers are working on it, but tit’ll only be released after the series wraps up in 2 or so seasons. I haven’t been this eggcited since they opened a Wendy’s near my office. However, Lisa S… no-no-no, L Simpson said there were no plans about turning Herman’s Head into a feature film. Troy McClure, RIP!

– This guy has the coolest toys.

Check out more of Sam’s Toybox

The Bad News Bears

How will Mother Brain handle all the slo-motion mid-air gunfights and doves?

– Just what the world needed: Queer Eye for the Straight Girl.

– John Woo bought the film rights to Nintendo’s OG game, Metroid. Who will they get to play space bounty hunter Samus Aran? All though the character is a female, I wouldn’t be sir prized if Vin Diesel “Jeans” lands the lead role. Maybe Chuck D had it right when he saran-wrapped “Burn, Hollywood, Burn.” Thanks to Wannamaker for making me read that article.

– What happens when yer a southern jack-ass who marries Jane Fonda? You get yer own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

– The Hitler Channel have given a permanent vacation to their JFK assassination documentary The Guilty Men. Supposedly they implicated LBJ in the conspiracy, but we all know that “it’s a mystery! It’s a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!” Hopefully they won’t have to pull these other upcoming shows: It Didn’t Happen: Holocaust, Shmolocaust and The Men Who Built Kennedy Airport.

And The Ugly News Bears

– Man kick dog like football. Dog dies.

– First Wil Wheaton gets a website and now this Real World: New York douche bag joins the fray.

– Finally, just looking at this picture of eyeball jewelry makes me want to throw up.

From my palszzzz over at NYC.gov:



Friday, April 2 Is National Walk to Work Day

The Department of Transportation is urging all New Yorkers to walk to work on Friday, April 2 as part of the first-ever “National Walk to Work Day.” At 7:30 a.m. on Friday, walkers are encouraged to meet at Brooklyn Borough Hall and then walk across the Brooklyn Bridge to Manhattan’s City Hall Park. There will be free foot screenings, foot-care giveaways and a presentation of the Best Walking City Award to New York City. If one cannot walk to work, DOT is encouraging everyone to walk to the subway or take a walk during lunch-time or a coffee break.

Are you f-in kidding me? What do I get out of this? I can lose weight by eating bacon for crying out loud. What about Skip Out of Work Day? Or as Ali G would say, Free Bitchez Day!

The blogmeister with all that good info, Jason G of Productshop NYC, got em himself an article published in the New York Times. Hooray!! Read it here folks. I’m still waiting to hear back from Mad Magazine about doing some Fold-Ins work.