I’m never getting around to seeing Fences or Lion, so here’s…

Dwelve Into These Twelve
of 2016

1) Tower

A real life tragic event gets Waking Lifed, and it’s not only scary and horrific, but hopeful AND inspiring!

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2) I Am Not Your Negro

What it’s like to be an African-American in America (when you’re white and have no clue what it’s like).  It raises all sorts of important questions that no one is really asking, or sadly, bothering to answer

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3) Patriots Day

An event I didn’t plan on reliving ended up making me feel proud to be an American… in a time I’m ashamed to be an American

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4) 20th Century Women

It’s like listening to The Talking Heads for the very first time – WOAH!

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5) The Founder

Sometimes it takes some awful in humans to make greatness, and greasiness for us all!

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6) The Light Between Oceans

Perhaps the year’s most overlooked movie that had ‘Oscar bait’ written all over it.  You no longer have to take the bait to something that no longer is baiting you, and it’s time for you to no longer overlook this film!

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7) Bleed For This

if Miles Teller bleeds – I will come!

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8) Embrace of the Serpent

I apparently never reviewed Serpent, but you need to Embrace this film – which puts the ‘lonely’ in ‘coLONELYialism’!

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9) Streit’s: Matzo and the American Dream

All things must pass – even the Lower East Side’s last remaining matzah factory, and with it, a part of Jewish culture and identity in America :( 

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10) Hell or High Water

Why choose when you can have BOTH hell AND high water!!!

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11) Sully

Dude is mad fly!

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12) Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made

These guys lived out their childhood dreams, in childhood, and finished them in their adulthood!  Fedora hats off forever to these dudes!!

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and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

Elstree 1976 / Snowden / Rouge One / Love & Friendship / The Witch / Jackie / La La Land / Toni Erdmann / Jheronimus Bosch, Touched by the Devil / Doctor Strange / the first 2/3rds of Moonlight / Indignation / The Lobster / Me Before You / Bridget Jones’s Baby / My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

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our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the Friday before the Oscars.  stay pooned!

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2015
2014
2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

I bought more CDs this year than I probably have in an entire decade!  it’s TRUE!!!! I WILL NOT LET PHYSICAL MEDIA DIE!!!

here’s what I listened to in 2016!!  all certified thightastic!

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you know my theory – see your favorite musicians in concert before you or they die…

Live By Night!

Raul Malo @ City Winery

31st Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony (Deep Purple / Ste ve Miller / NWA / Chicago / Cheap Trick(  @ Barclays Center

David Gilmour @ Madison Square Garden

Pearl Jam @ Madison Square Garden

Flight of The Conchords @ The Heath at The McKittrick Hotel

Ellie Goulding @ Madison Square Garden

Guns N’ Roses @ MetLife Stadium

Paul McCartney @ MetLife Stadium

Pitbull @ the Prudential Center

Willie Nelson @ the Amphitheater at Coney Island Boardwalk

The Bangles @ Irving Plaza

Jeff Lynne’s E.L.O. @ Radio City Music Hall

Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam @ Beacon Theatre

Brian Wilson presents Pet Sounds – Celebrating the 50th Anniversary with Al Jardine and Blondie Chaplin @ Beacon Theatre

Tidal X 10/15 @ Barclays

Sia @ Barclays

https://www.instagram.com/p/BE7i-7_G315/

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here’s a bunch of misc music junk from TWS in 2016…

The The and They They

believe it or not, in my adolescents, I used to be even angrier about really dumb stuff

stuff auctioned off from The Estate of the late Syd Barrett, in 2006

Bantha 8-Tracks

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it sucks the most when musicians die, cause you can never relive their greatness visually like you can with actors.  it’s true!

Goodnight Sweet
Prince & Princesses

you know the drill – 2016 was all Tronald Dump, and Gigi Hadon’t and bunch of other garbage szauce, but 2017 is gonna be different, and amazing, and awesome szauce.  There may be some KKK, but don’t worry, everything will be A-OKKKK.  How do we know?  We juss do.  Anywho, The Washington Post does a list thing, and so do we, cause old rabbits cry bards…

OUT	IN
Celebrity Deaths –	Celery Chefs –
Feel The Bern –	Peel The Perm –
Netflix & Chill –	DQ’s Grill & Chill –
Fake News –	Fake Mews –
High Ponytails –	High Ponies –
Believeland –	San DiegBLOWS –
The Mannequin Challenge –	Mannequin Three: For The Show –
Gene Wilder –	Gene Milder –
Keith David –	David Keith –
The Killing of Harambe –	Death to the word ‘Bae’ –
Zika –	FIKA –
Galaxy Note 7 Explosions –	Murder She Wrote ‘Northern Explosion’ –
CAPTCHAs –	Gotcha! –
Crying Jordan –	  Crying Neil Jordan –
Westworld –	Vestworld –
Liberal Bubble –	Puzzle Bobble –
Leslie Jones –	Joan Leslie –
Carpool Karaoke –	Rideshare Harakiri –
–	–
Moving To Canada –	Gluing From Canada –
Russian Hackers –	Russian Lacquer –
‘Cake By The Ocean’ –	Cakes by Laotians –
Ken Bone –	Ben Koné –
Chewbacca Mom –	Mom Calamari –
Fuller House –	Perfecter Strangerers –
Pokémon GO –	Poke, Go Away! –
Squad Goals –	Squat Goats –

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and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, the ‘011, the ‘012, the ‘013, the ‘014, the ‘015, the ‘016

oh man, that TV stuff in 2016!!!

1. The People vs OJ Simpson (FX)

left a PERManent 90s stain on my psyche 

(please note – I didn’t get a chance to watch the ESPN doc series on OJ yet):

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2. The Americans (FX)

poor poor Martha Hanson

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3. Baskets (FX)

Louie Anderson – BIGGEST comeback of the 21st Century!!!

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4. Murder Made Me Famous (REELZ)

a who’s who of horrible human beings – Jodi Arias, Scott Peterson, The Menendez Brothers, Drew Peterson, Ted Bundy, Joran van der Sloot, Pamela Smart, Jean Harris, Billionaire Boys Club, The Preppy Killer, Steven Avery, Charles Manson.  sure, the news is old, but the reenactments are fresh – and I friggin love reenactments!!!  also, the Steve Avery one had me throw out any sympathy that I had formed from watching Making of a Murderer!!!  also, I could listen to Steve Helling talk ALL DAY

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5 & 6. Gotham (Fox) & Supergirl (CBS/CW)

(still) amazing how DC heroes are done OH so right on the small screen, and OH so wrong on the big screen

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7. Younger (TV Land)

this is basically TV’s best kept secret.  Sutton Foster and her teefy smile are infectious!

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8. Shameless (Showtime)

a show I truly hate to watch, cause I always feel the need to take 82929 showers after watching it, but I cannot quit on the Gallaghers, especially now that the little kids are coming into their own, and so is Kevin (above) and his shorter hair!

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9. Bates Motel (A&E)

the show inches closer and closer to the Norman Bates we all know and love, while creating the Norman Bates we never knew anything about.  sad that the upcoming season will be its final one 

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10. Halt and Catch Fire (AMC)

even more ones and zeroes, and four of my favorite TV HEROES!!!!

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11. Drunk History (Comedy Central)

more Rich Fulcher please!

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12. Fresh Off The Boat (ABC)

 

making broadcast TV comedies fun again, and again!  probably my favorite modern TV family

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other solid forms of entertainments: 

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver – it was all a lot of fun AND games, until his efforts to stop Trump were in vain, and I couldn’t watch the show anymore

The Circus – fantastic and immediate election season show was a must watch, although I still haven’t brought myself to watch the final episode.  gasp

The Affair - so so so soo soo excellent that it made me eat Lunch

Maron - nice ending to a show that didn’t seem to have a beginning

Silicon Valley – still my favorite cast on TV

The Last Man Earth – still my 2nd favorite cast on TV

Married At First Sight 4 - finally, some of the people found love

Veep – incredible how the insane politics of this show were outdone by the real insane politics of 2016!

Married by Mom and Dad – what a great bad idea.  its heart is in the right place, even if the hearts don’t end up in the right place

Tyrant - the show ran out of steam, and I was basically done with it once Ashraf Barhom was done

Fargo  - I hope they keep farGOING and GOING!!!

Modern Family – it’s like they’re trying too hard to be funny, and it shouldn’t have to be that way

House of Cards - OMG – the Russian guy is really Mads Mikkelsen’s brother!!!

Game of Thrones - still not as good as HBO’s Rome

Million Dollar Listing New York – I’m sold on Fredrik, Ryan and Luis

Mistresses - so long, goodbye, don’t let your awfulness hit you on the way out

Restaurant Startup – Joe is still an a$$hole, and Tim Love still has giant eyes, and I still cannot miss an episode

11/22/63 – they need to travel back in time and remake the series without James Franco!

Girls - this show needs an abortion from itself

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+ bone-yessss!! moments

long live Mrs Garrett

the BUZZR channel. it’s what the Game Show Network used to be!

Richard Dreyfuss as Madoff!

MTV Classic – what MTV was, and needs to be

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOILxlnjbj3/

guessing the Twin Peaks 2017 characters!!

when New York City’s in trouble – who you gonna call? Pat Kiernan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Growing Pains goes to Europe! and Family Matters goes to Disney World!

They Fcuked With The Babysitter

SUPER DICKMANN’S!!!

the 30 for 30 on the first pitch after 9/11

The Double Dare Reunion!  LONG LIVE HARVEY!!!

The Unknown Flag Raiser of Iwo Jima – rights history’s wrong, AND employed the retired Gene Hackman to tell us!

when Adrien Brody channeled Andrew Dice Clay – which may have been my favorite TV moment of 2016

Debbie Gibson goes Hallmark and gives us an awesome acoustic ‘Only In My Dreams’

and this!!!

https://vimeo.com/166687480

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it growing pains me to say goodbye to all these amazing people :(

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+ hail & farewell to…

Charles Osgood on our televisions on Sunday mornings

&

Vin Scully calling Dodgers games

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perv-iously ’15 ’14 ’13 ’12 ’11 ’10 ’09 ’07

TWS turns 12 today.  one more year and it becomes a man

if you missed anything in year 12, here ye blow…

Smells Like Teen Dispirited

The 2015 Thighsmans

bless you Callahan!!

Thighs Wide Movies 2015

The Welles Report

Ohhhh Fuuudge!

GibsiHana

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAT91X2m37C/

#Wienning

Reality Czech

https://www.instagram.com/p/BADiQA7G31O/

I’m Going Hungary

This Is List – 2016

Thighs Wide Telly 2015

Spectrefapping

Gyros of The Day

Supergirl is supercute

Beauty Is Only Skin Depp

ALWAYS Trust A Big Butt AND A Smile

Don’t Cut It Out

https://www.instagram.com/p/8E8Us8m35Q/

Foggy With A Chance of Zodiac Balls

Citizen Schwarzenegger

Aaron Spelling’s wife got him a pinball machine made based on his life and work!!!!!!!

Bass Ackwards

KOCA NOLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ann B Davis in Omaha, Nebraska, September 1971

Chairmen of the Cardboard: Recreating memorable trading cards

never 5get – Toby Huss as faux Frank Sinatra – riffing and rhyming on current [1994] MTV hits

what if Jason Todd LIVED inBatman: A Death in the Family???

The Monty Hall Smokin-Stokin’ Fire Brigade

Addams Family Hopefuls – Photos From The Auditions

Oh Well, Whatever, Nevermind

that time The Eagles playedRolling Stone magazine in softball, May 1978

Buck(ingham) Naked

THERE WERE FEMALE PILOTS IN RETURN OF THE JEDI!!!

Unwanted Poster

what Detroit’s Pontiac Silverdome looks like these days

Hughes or Lose

Phil Hartmann, album cover designer!!

Cher being Cher

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perv-iously

This One Goes To Eleven

Ten Years A Thigh Master

Crap o’ Nine Tales

Eight Is Not Enough

Seven Thighs For Unlucky Number Slevin Brothers

Six Degrees of Snorting Bacon

Nut Saks Fifth Anniversary

Queer As Fourth

Three’s A Crowd… PLEASER!

In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up

Bring On The Terrible Twos!