Thighs Wide Shut

we came for the würst and we were treated to the best… time in Bavaria’s capital of Munich, which we had last (briefly) visited in May of 1998.  enüff with the backstory and on with the picture story!!!

these people truly know how to live life

and yet, they still have to pay for their ketchup

so würst! but who doesn’t love a good ole sausage fest????

or some way too yellow looking fries/frites? that are hactually purty darn delish

gotta give these people some mad platter-tudes.  ALL THIS WAS ONLY 22 EUROS!!!!!!

had at the Schelling Salon, one of Hitler’s favorite haunts, which he was eventually barred from for not paying his tab!!!  EAT IT HITLER!!! OR, HACTUALLY, DON’T!!!!!  speaking of, F$CK YOU HITLER!!!

Dachau was the very first Nazi concentration camp, and you can visit there, and you should!  we recommend Munich Walk Tours, which is led by an English speaking guide

‘Arbeit macht frei‘ my a$$!!!!

and despite all the evil ugliness that happened there

it’s quite a serene & beautiful place

but Dachau aint the only Jewish death site on our trip.  we also headed out to the 1972 Summer Olympic grounds and village, specifically to the famed 31 Connelystrasse address, where the Israeli Massacre all began

recommended reading: One Day In September

recommend viewing: One Day In September

it’s a crying f$%king shame in many respects that this happened, and it darkens and cheapens a gorgeous Olympic site created by the Germans, which was meant to erase all the nasty memories of the Nazified Berlin Olympics from 1936.  look at how amazing the grounds are!!!

it looks like grass, but them be seats!!

and don’t know how to describe these tent covery thingies

but they are so 70s and SO RAD!!!

here’s where Mark Spitz and his killer mustache ruled the worlds

he totally should have sold bottles of his own spits

but don’t worry folks, we did plenty of non-Jewish things

like eat Schweinshaxe (pork knuckles) at the Haxnbauer!!!

and make instant BFFs with locals (we didn’t tell them we’re Jewish)

like Helmut & Marita!!! they loved we so much, they bought us dinner!  and we loved them so much cause they kinda remind we of our parents, cept 100% more German!!!

and now for the random photo section of this post!

look, this is JUST like in European Vacation…

USA destroyed 88% of the city in WWII.  deeply hit was the Residenz

ever wonder what a tiny part of our finger would look like in an grand banquet hall? WONDER NO MO…

der Nazis cut paintings out of the wall to protect them from the bombs

here’s one of the few remaining Third Reich (take the walking tour!) buildings that still be standing

it was home to the Munich conference where Neville Chamberlain was a big wuss. Hitler’s office was up in there too.  the building is now a theater.  Hitler sucks!

know what don’t suck? Munich’s art museums!

there were many more pictures taken, of buildings and sh%t, but there aint no time or room for that.  instead, read these signs of the times, cause other languages that aren’t ours are ALWAYS funny

it’s sirprizing how unhealthy these people are

and yet they DON’T get fat

ok, this has been fun, but time to say auf wiedersehen

and this…

that’s what HE said

if yer travels bring you to our nation’s capital this winter, do yerself a mad flavor and czech out the Arcimboldo eggzibit at the National Gallery, but maybe even morerer importantly, head on over to the American Art Museum (secretly one of the country’s bestest) to peep the off the meat rack AND chain AND meat beat manifesto work of Alexis Rockman!!  his last name sez it all: man who rocks!!!!

Disney World I, 2005, oil on wood

Pond’s Edge, 1987, oil & acrylic on canvas

Airport, 1997, Envirotex, digitized photo, vacuum-formed styrofoam with aluminum finish, plasticine, Laughing Gull specimen, and oil paint on wood

Mount Rushmore, 2005, oil on wood

Golf Course, 1997, Envirotex, digitized photo, trash, Astroturf, golf balls, golf club, soil, cast plastic human femur, and oil paint on wood

Sea World, 2001-04, oil & acrylic on wood panel

shiz rocks, man!!!!

& so does Arci
who was getting crazy with the cheez whiz in the 16th century!!!

click fruit man for mo amazinessness!!!

Hank Willis Thomas took a bunch of print ads featuring African-Americans and removed the ads.  His resulting Unbranded series is buncredible, and is currently on view on the Brooklyn Museum’s 5th floor

soul good!!

ever been to Detroit?  of course you haven’t, but if you plan on ever doing so, plan on going to the DIA: The Detroit Institute of Art, which has a very impressive collection + a second to none Diego Rivera mural!!! buuuuutt, if you can’t make it out there or are rightfully scared to make the trip, you can check out a lot of their collection online AND they have this awesome zoom feature where you can make Paul Gauguin look like a bleedin idjiot!!!

it’s payback, for letting him make us look like an idjiot!!!

one trip to Funspot is never enuff,  so we made a second trip there this past weekend (especially since Crossbow & Fire Truck were out of order last time and weren’t this time!!!).  and since new ye olde games (how come we’ve never played the sorta recent Crazy Taxi before????) keep getting rotated into the mix at the world’s largest arcade, two trips aint gonna suffice none neither.  here’s some Arcade Flyers of sum of them new ye olde beauties we coin-opted to flidazzle riznazzle

do yerself a flavor and add Funspot, right below Graceland, on places to visit before you die

& if you haven’t already, find some way to watch the doc Chasing Ghosts: Beyond The Arcade, which, if you can believe it, is > than The King of Kong