oh man, that TV stuff in 2016!!!

1. The People vs OJ Simpson (FX)

left a PERManent 90s stain on my psyche 

(please note – I didn’t get a chance to watch the ESPN doc series on OJ yet):

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2. The Americans (FX)

poor poor Martha Hanson

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3. Baskets (FX)

Louie Anderson – BIGGEST comeback of the 21st Century!!!

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4. Murder Made Me Famous (REELZ)

a who’s who of horrible human beings – Jodi Arias, Scott Peterson, The Menendez Brothers, Drew Peterson, Ted Bundy, Joran van der Sloot, Pamela Smart, Jean Harris, Billionaire Boys Club, The Preppy Killer, Steven Avery, Charles Manson.  sure, the news is old, but the reenactments are fresh – and I friggin love reenactments!!!  also, the Steve Avery one had me throw out any sympathy that I had formed from watching Making of a Murderer!!!  also, I could listen to Steve Helling talk ALL DAY

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5 & 6. Gotham (Fox) & Supergirl (CBS/CW)

(still) amazing how DC heroes are done OH so right on the small screen, and OH so wrong on the big screen

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7. Younger (TV Land)

this is basically TV’s best kept secret.  Sutton Foster and her teefy smile are infectious!

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8. Shameless (Showtime)

a show I truly hate to watch, cause I always feel the need to take 82929 showers after watching it, but I cannot quit on the Gallaghers, especially now that the little kids are coming into their own, and so is Kevin (above) and his shorter hair!

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9. Bates Motel (A&E)

the show inches closer and closer to the Norman Bates we all know and love, while creating the Norman Bates we never knew anything about.  sad that the upcoming season will be its final one 

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10. Halt and Catch Fire (AMC)

even more ones and zeroes, and four of my favorite TV HEROES!!!!

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11. Drunk History (Comedy Central)

more Rich Fulcher please!

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12. Fresh Off The Boat (ABC)

 

making broadcast TV comedies fun again, and again!  probably my favorite modern TV family

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other solid forms of entertainments: 

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver – it was all a lot of fun AND games, until his efforts to stop Trump were in vain, and I couldn’t watch the show anymore

The Circus – fantastic and immediate election season show was a must watch, although I still haven’t brought myself to watch the final episode.  gasp

The Affair - so so so soo soo excellent that it made me eat Lunch

Maron - nice ending to a show that didn’t seem to have a beginning

Silicon Valley – still my favorite cast on TV

The Last Man Earth – still my 2nd favorite cast on TV

Married At First Sight 4 - finally, some of the people found love

Veep – incredible how the insane politics of this show were outdone by the real insane politics of 2016!

Married by Mom and Dad – what a great bad idea.  its heart is in the right place, even if the hearts don’t end up in the right place

Tyrant - the show ran out of steam, and I was basically done with it once Ashraf Barhom was done

Fargo  - I hope they keep farGOING and GOING!!!

Modern Family – it’s like they’re trying too hard to be funny, and it shouldn’t have to be that way

House of Cards - OMG – the Russian guy is really Mads Mikkelsen’s brother!!!

Game of Thrones - still not as good as HBO’s Rome

Million Dollar Listing New York – I’m sold on Fredrik, Ryan and Luis

Mistresses - so long, goodbye, don’t let your awfulness hit you on the way out

Restaurant Startup – Joe is still an a$$hole, and Tim Love still has giant eyes, and I still cannot miss an episode

11/22/63 – they need to travel back in time and remake the series without James Franco!

Girls - this show needs an abortion from itself

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+ bone-yessss!! moments

long live Mrs Garrett

the BUZZR channel. it’s what the Game Show Network used to be!

Richard Dreyfuss as Madoff!

MTV Classic – what MTV was, and needs to be

me and @sarachka515 make a cameo appearance on #AmericanDinerRevival's episode on Johnny's Luncheonette (as we depart, screen left, happy and stuffed customers)

A video posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on Dec 17, 2016 at 10:12am PST

guessing the Twin Peaks 2017 characters!!

when New York City’s in trouble – who you gonna call? Pat Kiernan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Growing Pains goes to Europe! and Family Matters goes to Disney World!

They Fcuked With The Babysitter

SUPER DICKMANN’S!!!

the 30 for 30 on the first pitch after 9/11

The Double Dare Reunion!  LONG LIVE HARVEY!!!

The Unknown Flag Raiser of Iwo Jima – rights history’s wrong, AND employed the retired Gene Hackman to tell us!

when Adrien Brody channeled Andrew Dice Clay – which may have been my favorite TV moment of 2016

Debbie Gibson goes Hallmark and gives us an awesome acoustic ‘Only In My Dreams’

and this!!!

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it growing pains me to say goodbye to all these amazing people :(

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+ hail & farewell to…

Charles Osgood on our televisions on Sunday mornings

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Vin Scully calling Dodgers games

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TV is the new Jesus.  In 2013, it was totally TVeesus!!!!  here’s our picks for bestestestiest TVeesus shows done shown (that we done watched)

1. Drunk History (Comedy Central)

I want to be 12 years a slave to this TV show, which combines my two greatest loves that aren’t food or the Nationals or my soon to be wife – comedy and history (not so much a fan of drunkards, but happy to make the exception here!).  And the actors all deserve 8312888 emmys for their sync work with the blottoed narrators!

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2. Maron (IFC)

 

MARON!!!! it’s like Louie, but kinda sorta less depressing!!!

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3. Under The Dome (CBS)

Feels like the 90s all over again, with TV dishing out quality Stephen King mini-series mini-scares week after week.  Dome is the best since It, even if it is nowhere as awesome as It

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4. Shameless (Showtime)

TV’s most audaciously outrageously slimy AND fun show… that no one loves, talks or cares about it.  shamemore on you!

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5. Bates Motel (A&E)

somewhere Alfred Hitchcock is NOT turning over in his grave, as this is sacrilege finally done right!   

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6. Vice (HBO)

it’s kinda what 60 Minutes needs to be more like, cept the show could do without the hipster correspondents.  still – each story is VITAL, and none was more compelling than when they sent Dennis Rodman to North Korea

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7. Hannibal (NBC)

I’m mads mads for Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal.  Anthony Hopkins who?

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8. Arrested Development (Netflix)

Full Mental Tobias.  Terry Crews out-of control.  The intertwining episodes took much much thought and planning, and it all paid off, in spades and our hearts.  Just wish I didn’t have to watch it on a computer

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9. Princesses Long Island (Bravo)

 

if Jews truly controlled the media, would they ever let this show air?  it sets back Judaism 5774 years, and somehow I couldn’t turn away from it

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10. The Big C: Hereafter (Showtime)

a very sweet hereafter

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11. The Client List (Lifetime)

where you can wear your cake AND eat it too.  Can’t believe they axed a show where off screen hand jobs totally did their job

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12. Joe Rogan Questions Everything (Syfy)

it’s like a ghetto Unsolved Mysteries, with Joe Rogan talking loud and making amazing wide-eyed faces.  FEAR THE ROBOTS!!!

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other solid forms of entertainments: Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel (5 real!), Eastbound & Down (not the greatest of swan songs, but live for Stevie Janowski), Masters of Sex (a bit behind on this one, but smart and sexy + Beau Bridges = WE’RE ALL IN!!), Breaking Bad (glad it’s over, so the tweets ended too), Newsroom (we chewed on Grace Gummer), Mad Men (the acting or the scripts are SO bad, but can decide on which), An Idiot Abroad 3 (anything with Warwick Davis is appointment watching), Elementary (Natalie Dormer!!!!  but not naked, booooooo!!!), Portlandia (manic, but sharp), Homeland (F MURRAY ABRAHAM AND MANDY BEARD IT OUT!!!), The Office (Michael Scott returned and we cried), Boardwalk Empire (miss you already Richard Harrow), Enlightened (the lovable losers lost), Veep (veep on veeping on), The Americans (we love all things Russian), Dallas (no more JR, and somehow it still works), Undercover Boss (how does the employees NOT know they’re on the show???), Burning Love (THE MALE CAST OF SEASON 3, OMG!!!), Ray Donovan (awful accents, but helLA fun), Modern Family (best standard comedy going),  The Carrie Diaries (love high school shows, but there’s TOO much sex talk for a high school show on this high school show), House of Cards (so Fincher moody!), Dexter (even if they should have ended it a season ago), Girls (I watch it for the boys), SNL (Cecily weak) & American Horror Story (almost TOO batshit crazy to watch) 

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+ bone-yes moments

everything in front of Behind The Candelabra, but mostly Rob Lowe’s face

- Limitless Paper In A Paperless World

– Colbert gets unlucky

– Poopeye

– The Yummy Awards

– Saved By The Belding

– I’ll Take The Mother of My Children For $400 Alex

– Lazy Eye

– CBS and Time Warner Cable hate their customers.  thanks for NOTHING a$$holes

– wait, there was a Dirty Dancing TV show??

– how fcuking good the casting and music video recreations were in Crazy Sexy Cool: The TLC Story

– one of the greatest commercials of all time(/my childhood)

– stop pretending that the VMAs matter

– Sharknado, not that awful, even though it’s awful

– Topanga The Mok!!!!!!!!!!!

– Third Reichers Island

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– NAKED GRANDMA!!!!!

 

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fair thee well to those who have passed on, leaving a lumpy in our throat…

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the boat from The Love Boat

 

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