Peace The Forks Out

to

Jhoon Rhee

–

thank you Master Rhee, for teaching people how to kick ass, and to try and recruit people to learn how to kick ass through THE most kick ass local TV commercial OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m suddely so HOT and bothered!

we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2017

and now, for the only awards that matter…

Fourteenthial Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards

aka

THE THIGHSMANS!!!

_

Thing In A Movie That Pissed Me Off More Than Urinating In and/or On My Own Pants

trying to make Rose from Star Wars
The Last Jedi a thing

_

Second Thing In A Movie That Pissed Me Off More Than Urinating In and/or On My Own Pants AND That Wasn’t Leia Flying In Space

the environmental message of freeing the DUMBo animals in Last Jedi

_

The 8th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of The You Think You’re An Actress And Maybe You Are But You Annoy The Living Bejesus Out Of Me Every Time I See You On Screen And I Want You Gone So Please Stop Acting Award

go away

Lily James & her teef

_

The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Man of The Year

 

Dan Stevens

who had SEVEN flix released in 2017!!

_ 

Gifs of the Gawds

anything Rihanna was doing in Valerian

_

Begging For More Begbie

there is nothing better than Begbie, the best part of Trainspotting 2

so forget about making a 3rd one and just make a stand alone Begbie movie please

_

Bob’s Big Girls (& Boys)
aka
The 2017 Bobbies!

these bobbies are darin!

_ 

The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award

aka – these ladies be DAMN fine award!!

Eiza González

 & 

Anjela Nedyalkova

 & 

Hot Aunt May

 & 

Gosling’s sister’s rack

 & 

 Salacious B Crumb sitting on a toilet, reading Playboy

_

Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever

aka Bestest Eyes

Ana de Armas 

_

FOAM Alone!

aka hottest NON-human part of any movie

the foam from Dunkirk

_

Hairing Is Caring AND Sexy

Come for the tennis, and then literally COME watching this hairdressing scene!!!

 _

Würstest BESTEST Date Movie/Witherspoonfest
of 2017

I can’t believe I typed this

Home Again

_

Best Boys On The Side Player

THIS GUY!!!!

 from I, Tonya

_

Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Does As Norman Bates

The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion – ‘Bellbottoms’ in Baby Driver (somehow I forgot this song existed)

hologram Elvis in Blade Runner 2049

Bowie’s In Space

_

Trailers Worth Tractoring

(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)

 

_

Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!

_

Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles

It Comes at Night / Marrowbone / The Girl with All the Gifts / All Nighter / Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie / The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature

_

Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award

Ninja N. Devoe

Flint Beverage

&
David Buttolph

_

Don’t You Forget About Me/These Forgetmenot Bon Mots

i made all these Kao Kan gifs for you

this logo

Why I Love David Fincher’s Zodiac

where leia’s hair buns
were inspired from

Tom Selleck as Indiana Jones and Sean Young as Marion Ravenwood!!!!!!!!

Eworks on Ice!

_

Movies To Look For In The ‘018

 

Four Billboards Outside of Branson, Missouri

Boss Toddler

DiPs

Hello Robin Christopher

The Man Who Invented Hanukkah

Rebel in the Pumpernickel

17 Fast, 17 Furious

_

In Memoriam

too many great names to name, so we’ll just leave it like this

_

don’t forget to peep out our  ’16,  ’15, ’14, ’13, ’12, ’11, ’10, ’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!! 

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Ten 2017 Movies That Rose Higher Than Rose From The Last Jedi

–

1) Loving Vincent

LOVE doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about this waking life walk thru van Gogh’s paintings.  this is one for the ages!!

–

2) The Lost City of Z

more of an Indiana Jones movie than Kingdom of The Crystal Skull was!!!  AND IT REALLY HAPPENED!!

–

3) Mother!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

–

4) Dunkirk

I was praying that it was going to be a bad movie so I could call it Dumbkirk

–

5) The Disaster Artist

Finally, a Seth Rogen movie I can get behind!

–

6) Phantom Thread

Style over substance AND style!

–

7) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Fart faced McDormand and zany Sam Rockwell overcome themselves to surprise even me!

–

8) Maudie

Art with heart

–

9) The Trip To Spain

More of these, less of the Fast & Furiouseseses

–

10) Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Beyond this world, and apparently beyond the grasp of today’s dumbed-down audiences.  Enjoy the same crap over and over people, cause Hollywood aint going to take a chance anymo on a movie that takes a chance like this one did

–

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the Friday before the Oscars.  stay pooned!

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2016
2015
2014
2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

onetime Marilyn Monroe body double

without SFPD Detective David Toschi…

Bullitt would be shooting blanks

Dirty Harry would be too clean cut

Mark Ruffalo wouldn’t have the role he and his hair were born to play

and Luke Skywalker would not have a better place to be

thank you Detective Toschi.  if it makes you feel better, no one else ever caught the Zodiac either