Thighs Wide Shut

Peak Televison

06. Feb, 2018 2 Comments

I FINALLY got around to watching Twin Peaks – The Return. At first, I was beyond dumbfounded by it all.Â I was like, this isn’t MY Twin Peaks.Â WTF???Â What is this?Â It’s too far out there.Â Too much Inland Empire and not enuff of that perfect Twin Peaks charm and whimsy that had made me a blind devotee since 1990.Â But I pressed on, and The Return got better, or I got wiser, or both.Â And when it was over, (I binged all 18 eps in under a week), I wanted to experience it all over again, solve the unsolvable mysteries, and started re-watching it immediately.Â This isn’t my OLD Twin Peaks, but this is my NEW Twin Peaks!!Â Also, Andy and Lucy’s son Wally Brando is my everything!!

Andy Brennan, David Lynch, Deputy Andy Brennan, Harry Goaz, Kimmy Robertson, Lucy Brennan, Lucy Moran, Mark Frost, Michael Cera, Twin Peaks, Twin Peaks - The Return, Wally Brando

2 Comments

Twin Peaks is coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~WHY???~~ FCUK YEAH!!!!!!!

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here’s what the new series needs…

bring Coop back to the good side

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Killer Bob (the actor) is dead. find someone SCARIER than him to be the new spiritual menace

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somehow keep the look and feel EXACTLY the same. SOMEHOW!!!

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it’s Showtime, so there will be nudity, but don’t over do it. only use the boobies when it suits the story

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10,000% more Bobby Briggs and Shelly Johnson

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bring back Lara Flynn Boyle and explain how she once was Moira Kelly but no longer is Moira Kelly

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include everyone and anyone who was in Twin Peaks, but limit the sh!tty characters’ involvement

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more of Ben Horne obsessing over things/anything

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minutes will be precious – so limit the onscreen singing

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give the deceased actors some sort of honorable salute/send off (so long/goodbye – Killer Bob, Pete Martell, Major Briggs, Mayor Milford, Andrew Packard, Ernie Niles, the waiter, Norma’s mom, Mrs Tremond, Judge Clinton Sternwood, Rev Brocklehurst, Coach Wingate, Tom Brockman, Biker Scotty, Theodora Ridgely, the real Mrs Tremond, Jimmy Scott, Dell Mibbler, Janice Hogan)

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this has nothing to do with the show – but recreate this cover

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resurrect the whorehouse / casino locale, but this time make it twice as whorey and casinoy – TWO Eyed Jacks!!

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give Dr Jacoby a daughter, and her daughter a wacky husband, who also happens to be Dr J’s psychiatrist partner

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add the following actors to the cast – CiarÃ¡n Hinds, Mads Mikkelsen, Paul Dano, Saoirse Ronan, Laura Harring, Olivia de Havilland, Chadwick Boseman, â€ŽBae Doona, Edie McClurg, Peter Mullan, Yaphet Kotto, M Emmet Walsh, Daniel BrÃ¼hl, Hal Holbrook, Tippi Hedren, Alden Ehrenreich, Val Kilmer’s son, Adam West, and/or Keith David/David Keith

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let Andy be Andy

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somehow incorporate a Curly W, since Mark Frost’s nephew / Doctor Hayward’s real life grandson is Nationals prospect Lucas Giolito

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Tremayne’s – a department store owned by Dick Tremayne

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juss don’t fcuk it up