Peace The Forks Out

to

Philip Seymour Hoffman

–

and my personal favorite PSH performances…

Dan Mahowny in Owning Mahowny

–

Brandt in The Big Lebowski

–

Allen in Happiness

–

Art Howe in Moneyball

–

Father Brendan Flynn in Doubt

–

Andy in Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead

–

Gust Avrakotos in Charlie Wilson’s War

–

Jon Savage in The Savages

–

Scotty J in Boogie Nights

–

Freddie Miles in The Talented Mr Ripley

 

so long PSH :*(

2013 was a pretty weak year for movies, but life outside of the theater trumped life inside of it (I met the love of my life! and it’s a woman!  so I’m not gay!).  anywho, some movies were still better than garbage, and they is…

The Thirsteen Thirteen

1) Room 237

Shining on some crazy diamonds who put more thought into thinking about the Shining than anyone ever needed.  But once you hear these batshit crazy theories, you cannot unhear these batshit crazy theories, and you may juss go batshit crazy yoself

–

2) The Wolf of Wall Street

It’s like Goodfellas and Casino‘s younger, hipper brother

–

3) Her

Spike Jonze’ love story digitally penetrates!!

–

3) Captain Phillips

Taking hostages on screen AND off!!

–

4) All Is Lost

A better silent movie than The Artist

–

5) The Great Gatsby

A little party never killed nobody

–

6) The Hunt

Mads for Mads Mikkelsen

–

7) The Stories We Tell

Do Tell

–

8) Salinger

Trashy tabloid junk… that I couldn’t get enough of.  But what about the ‘pee in a jar’ rumors???

- 

9) My Father and The Man In Black

Cash-ed & carry-on, for the wayward son

–

10) Spring Breakers

more of a feeling than a movie, and a dirty one at that, but it inspired us to actually do something with video on the internets!! 

- 

11) Short Term 12

All Brie, no cheese 

–

12) Cutie and The Boxer

Starving for attention artists in residence

–

13) Our Nixon

Nixon bindess with pleasure! 

–

and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

42
The Armstrong Lie
Bettie Page Reveals All
Blue Caprice
Blue Jasmine
Dallas Buyers Club
Enough Said
Fill The Void
Frances Ha
Mandela Long Walk To Freedom
Nebraska
The Past
(first 1/3 of) Place Beyond The Pines
The Reluctant Fundamentalist
Rush
Saving Mr Banks
The Source Family
The Spectacular Now

–

wanna second opinion?  future Mrs Thigh Master weighs in!  

(poor girl saw more movies in a theater this past year than probably ever!!!)

Best Movies 

5. Short Term 12

4. The Wolf of Wall Street

3. Dallas Buyers Club

2. Captain Phillips

1. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Runner up –

‘Best’ [meaning WURST] Movies  

5. Inside Llewyn Davis

4. The Book Thief

3. Don Jon

2. Upstream Color

1. I’m So Excited (Los amantes pasajeros)

Runner up –

The Sapphires

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

Peace The Forks Out

to

Folk Hero

–

The Prof

 

–

Reuben Kincaid

+

M-m-m-m-m my A-Sharon-A!

Shaw, he ran ran

Candlestick Park

that guy who was in Spies Like Us and other stuff

the sole surviving female Oz Munchkin

another Marlboro Man smoked out

last Japanese soldier to surrender after WWII

don’t forget about Sarah Marshall

she made us Royale blush

progeria sufferer :(

Rudolph miner major

electric hanger with Mr Cooper

some animator

leader of his own Pack

some Philly bawler

some actor

&

a belated PTFO to our MOST belovededed & favorite TV game show host, EVER!!!!!

Mac McGarry!!!!

Peace The Forks Out

to

For Everly & Ever

 

–

&

Uncle Phil

loved him in Fletch + License To Drive

 

+

Zaentz, who didn’t produce Zardoz

a-ok AK-47

he Screwed you

THE great train robber

she imitated life

oldest surviving cast member of Gone With The Wind – GONE!

he called Booty

Eisenhower’s son who looked like Ike

producer of some crappy movies

Oklahomegirl from Oklahoma!

that guy

some Bollywood actor

Seagram #1

he WWII flew under the Eiffel fcuking tower!!!

baseball broadcaster

Lizzie McGuire’s teacher

Sinatra’s valet

SoapNet

&

GOODBYE 2013!

a year of Boston Bombings, getting engaged, JFGay turning 50 and whole bunch of other crap

goodbye Roger, again and 9ever :(

you know the drill - The Washington Post does it, we does its three, better or worser or perhaps even worse.  anywho, 2014 is so gonna be our year

 

OUT	IN
Selfies –	Shelfies –
Room 237 –	Room 238 –
Harlem Shake –	Bronx Malt –
Despising Ben Affleck –	Despising Ben Affleck –
1/8th Visible Boobs   –	3/8th Visible Boobs in an invisible plane –
Cronuts –	Bronuts –
Pleaves –	Plaves –
Kate Upton’s body –	Fred Upton’s body of work –
David Keith –	Keith David –
The Desolation of Smaug –	The Domination of Zog –
Yeezus –	Knowses –
Mayor Bloomberg –	Mayor McCheese –
Edward Snowden –	Snowed Inn Bed & Breakfast –
  Sarah Palin –	  Sara Palan –
Blockbuster Video –	Cartrivision –
Ray Donovan –	Donovan Ray –
Bacon –	BaccOff –
Gatsby –	Zaxby’s –
The Walrus Was This Andy Reid Baby –	The Walrus Was Karl Malden –
#ThrowbackThursday –	#ThrowupThursday –
Top Chef –	Topless Chef –
racist Redskins –	Simply Red’s bassist –
Carlos Danger –	Sir Reginald Safety III –
Orange Is The New Black –	Orangeface is the new Blackface –
JFGay –	RFGay [NSFW] –
Doritos Locos –	Utz Slutz –
Tony Romo, Choke Artist –	 Tony Santavicca, Sandwich Artist! –

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, the ‘011, the ‘012 & the ‘013