Peace The Forks Out

to

Stan The Man-Lee

you were truly MARVEL-ous Stan.  thank you

and thank you to Douglas Rain and your HAL voice

The Amazing Spider-Man
Re-Turn Off The Dark
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 136 min

No single person was like, WE NEED MORE SPIDER-MAN MOVIES, AND DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO GIVE US NEW ONES, LIKE, NOW, and like get rid of the original director, cast, pie eating so goodness, and start over with lesser talents, and literally start over with a movie that tackles Spider-Man’s origin story, again.  Granite, the Sam Raimmii version lost steam by the time it came and went to #3, so we can see why a re-boot was re-booted, but did it need to be re-booted so soon? RE-BOOOOOT??!??!?!

If you can somehow forget all about Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker, you will remember Andrew Garfield as the same dude, doing pretty much the same things. And while Marc Webb‘s take on the Spidey world certainly doesn’t weave new and unique webs, it certainly takes viewers back to the excitement and fun that was felt after seeing Tobey-Spidey #1.  Yep, this Spidey is the best Spidey since Spidey movie #1, cause we don’t remember anything about Spidey #2 & #3, cept the pie eating so goodness

OK, ok, ok, so Spidey 4’s villain (Rhys Ifans as a one-armed professor turned annoying lizard with Rhys Ifans’ voice) feels stoopid, looks stoopid, and is stoopid, but WHO CARES (we’ll, we did care a little, cause we kinda hated any scene involving the lizard)!!!!  Cause Andrew Garfield has more fun being Peter Parker than Tobey’s dead-eyed stare did, and we had more fun watching him as him than him as him!!  It’s ture!!!  And there’s no first dance for Mary Jane Watson here, juss plenty of hot exposed knee action from Emma Stone as Peter’s 1st love Gwen Stacy, and although she doesn’t have that much to do, but be hot and be related to Denis Leary, and be really hot, and like be SUPER HOT, but who cares, cause she’s so hotttttttt and we’d take her over Dunst anywaysdays.  The only knock on her performance was that she didn’t have a 90 minute shower scene.  Basterds!!!!  HOLLYWÃœRST, WHY DO YOU HATE SHOWER SCENES??!?!?  THOMAS EDISON INVENTED MOVIES SO HE AND WE COULD WATCH MOVIES WITH WOMEN SHOWERING!!!!!  STOP PISSING ON TOM ED’S GRAVE!!!!!  GIVE US US SHOWER SCENES!!!

moral of the story – they gave us a new Spider-Man, even if we didn’t want it, and while it may not be a Christopher Nolanesqueish funky-fresh take on the material, it is kinda fresh, and it has the best of the best Stan Lee cameos, and Martin Sheen is realllllly good, before he gets plugged [UNSPOILER ALERT!!], and Sally Field is OK, and it’s nice to see Hollywood hire Irrfan Khan, cause we love hearing him talk, and moist importantly, they employed…

C.Thomas Howell!!!!!:

C THOMAS HOWELL IS IN THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Spidey slings it at a theater near jews tomoorow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope
Conventional Wisdom Dorkdom
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 88 min

Morgan Spurlock takes a very Morgan Spurlockish topic and makes a very un-Morgan Spurlocklike doc about it.  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!?  It means Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope is a pretty standard made doc about something pop culturalish (San Diego’s annual comics & movie dweeb-a-thon), BUT, for the first time ever, Spurlock doesn’t rear his ugly face or give voice to his voice!!  You’d think that this would be a good thing, but after awhile, you kinda start wishing that he’d pop up to laff and smile and provide everymanish commentary

There’s nothing overtly special about this documentary, and it’s probably the least engaging one Spurlock has made, but don’t think for a second that it’s not worth yer time/dime.  This is a great way for you to see what Comic-Con is like (minus any real insight or history) without actually attending.  We’ve never been to Comic-Con, but have worked some other Comic-Con-esque-ish-like cons, and believe you we, it’s better to watch from afar, and not have to inhale the smell of these people

These people come from all walks of geek life, and Spurlock follows a handful of them in and around the con – 2 aspiring graphic artists looking to break into the indutsry, a girl obsessed with video games and creating costumes from them, a guy who plans on proposing to his nerdy queen with the help of Kevin Smith, and our personal favorite, a ye olde thyme comic book collector and seller, who puts some perspective on how the convention has changed over the years (guess what, it’s less about the comics and more about selling movies!)

Smattered inbetween all of this are one-liner reflections about the con by fans and the famous, who are also fans, peeps like Stan Lee, [THE MESSIAH] Joss Whedon, the aforementioned Smith, Eli Roth, etc etc

moral of the story – Spurlock’s very un-Spurlockiskian Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope doesn’t provide much hope, but does provide cuteness, laughs and a delightful lil overview of a convention that we should all probably stay 4 states away from

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Hope floats in limited release AND on VOD Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…