Thighs Wide Shut

Peterloo
Speak Loudly and Carry No Big Sticks
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 154 min

Whenever writer/director Mike Leigh has a project in the works, I get super excited.  Sure, his movies aren’t Marvel spectacles, but that’s why I get excited, because they are the opposite of those.  Leigh’s films are intricate, fraught and tender character pieces, with a strong emphasis on character.  When I heard his next film was called Peterloo, I was like, ooooh, what’s that?  Is that Waterloo’s brother?  Is it somewhere on the Tube’s Bakerloo line?  Whatever, I was all in, regardless of what it was!

And what Peterloo was is something that takes Leigh far out of his wheelhouse, and into the wide open cities and countryside.  We could see this coming.  When he dropped his previous film on us, the excellent Mr Turner, his canvas was starting to expand outside of the modern day British home, and with his latest he goes for the gusto in a large ensemble piece about human rights and strife in early 19th century England

The talk here in 1819 is big and LOUD.  Any actor you see in this movie certainly brought Leigh their A-game and acted the SH$T out of whatever lines he gave them (Rory Kinnear gets the biggest A+ out of all the other A-gamers).  And I hung on every single word spoken.  The message was clear (and again, LOUD), but the whole felt more like pieces that never made a complete picture  

In the final act, the talk turned into action, where we learn what Peterloo was.  What started as a peaceful public meeting of the Nothern English people, who were sick of being ignored and under-represented in Parliament, turned into something horrid.  The local authorities in power sensed that the people and their assembly were a threat and so they issued arrest warrants for the meeting’s key speakers.  Calvarymen charged in to keep the peace, but chaos is what actually ensued.  It turned into a giant massacre, and Leigh’s film ends with bloodshed, and more questions than answers.  That’s probably the point, but as an American with little knowledge of English history and their civil rights, having things spelled out (how about some text at the end of what happened next) would have certainly helped.  Still, my ears are still ringing from all the big talk!  Let freedom ring, LOUD AND CLEAR!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Peterloo talks the good talk in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Cold War (Zimna wojna)
Love (In Post-War) Is Hell
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 88 min

Moral of the story – if you ever fall in love with a super talented, super fine looking lady, but she’s a giant pain in the ass and will destroy your soul and probably make you do things like renounce your freedom and do forced labor, it’s probably not worth being in love with her in the first place.  But hey, look at that amazing b&w cinematography!  And now I finally know what language Borat got his ‘chenqui’ from!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Cold War warms things up in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Mary Poppins Returns
The Old Disney Razzle Dazzle Made New
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG | 130 min

Everything’s a winner in Mary Poppins Returns, and purists should have no cause for alarm, and everyone else should have cause to see this, cause it’s pure Disney movie magic, in that old fashioned way we knew and STILL love.  Walt would be proud

First and foremost, Emily Blunt stepped into shoes that be so large that they were simply impossible to fill.  So I guess that means she did the impossible, because she made Mary P her own, with a bit of Julie Andrews’ spoonful of sugar, tossed in with a tad of author PL Travers’ bitter toughness.  Blunt’s Mary is, well, blunt.  She doesn’t take no sh!t, but also makes magic out of anything, even sh!t, but not literally sh!t

And the kids are great.  They’re wide-eyed enuff, and one of the kids has super-wide ears!  And the girl’s real name is Pixie Dust or something!

And the kids in the first movie are now grown up, and the perfect path for moving the story forward, in what is the loosest story they could go forward on (they don’t have money and may lose their house!  can anyone help them!).  And you cannot ask for better actors basically doing pointless acting as worrisome siblings than Ben Whishaw and Emily Mortimer.  I wish they were my dad and mum, or brother and sister, or husband and wife, or anything that would make me able to hug them.  I’d give Ben a mustache ride, and Emily any kind of ride she desires

Oh, and super annoying Lin-Manuel Miranda is super annoying (not sure why a guy who lights lamps has to appear in every scene, AND BE SO FCUKING HAPPY), but his super annoyingness actually works for this show-stopping show that does not stop.  He doesn’t stop!  HE WON’T STOP!!  And his pizzaz in the proceedings is infectious!  You’ll want to light lamps!  And imitate him, like…

Oh, and Colin Firth is a good baddie, and Dick Van Dyke and Angela Lansbury are old as fork, but you watch them twinkle and wish that you’ll be as spry and as with it as they are at age 93.  And even thought his character was kinda whatevs.net, it was nice to see David Warner.  I love David Warner.  You probably do too, but just don’t realize it.  And what about Meryl Streep?  How do you think she was??

And the songs?  I don’t remember any of them, but they were really good!  And when mixed with the 2-D animation, I literally felt like a kid again, on a Disney ride with no line, having the time of my life!

Verdictgo: mos def Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Mary pops at a theater near jews and white nationalists today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Vox Lux
A Star Is Mourn
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 110 min

Brady Corbet (yes, that guy!) aims for the (pop) stars in his second feature Vox Lux, which is part masterful, and part questionable.  All in all, there’s a lot to take in, and a majority of the praiseworthy work belongs to Raffey Cassidy (and to Brady and cinematography by Lol Crawley for all those beautiful New York City building shots!!), who plays our fragile heroine Celeste in younger times, and then later on, when Natalie Portman portrays the older, crustier, unhinged version of Celeste, Raffey plays her daughter.  Confusing, a bit, and especially so when Portman enters the movie and acts like she’s doing one of those ‘silly’ an SNL raps, and a lot of the built up luster turns to bluster, but when the finale concert is staged, and the Sia songs blare, and the Mr Portman Benjamin Millepied dance move groove, they turn the beat around, and everything feels perfectly in sync

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Vox is currently sounding off in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Mary Queen of Scots
I’ve Seen Better Episodes Of The Tudors
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 125 min

The history is interesting and worth telling, but the latest and not so greatest iteration of it – the Josie Rourke directed and Beau Willimon written Mary Queen of Scots – somehow doesn’t give the affairs the royal treatment it deserves 

Not for a lack of trying.  They got black guys and Asian gals and Hispanic dudes playing roles usually reserved for white folk.  That was kinda refreshing!  And you can’t go wrong with Irish tongued Saoirse Ronan giving Mary the upper Scottish lip, while Aussie Margot Robbie goes ‘ugly’ and white face as her cousin rival Elizabeth 

History news flash – the two Queens don’t interact much, and basically never face to face, so for the most part, it’s juss a war of words, and a bunch of dudes with staches and ruff necks endlessly scheming.  And that’s OK, cause it’s like The Tudors, but like a lesser episode  

The main issue I had with the film is how muddled it begins and how middling the middle parts were (too many needless side characters we could care less about), but when the film finally hits its stride in the last act, it’s all class act until Mary gets hers.  Woulda been nice if her head and the movie was screwed on tighter from the get go, before it gets the chop in the end, but hey, history and herstory is told by the victors, and the victorias, however they want to tell it

Verdictgo: low end Jeepers Sorta Kinda Worth A Peepers

Mary gets bloody at a theater near jews and white nationalists this Friday

want to see a better movie about women in power and women empowerment?  seek out the doc ¡Las Sandinistas! – it’s great!!! you’ll learn more about Nicaraguan modern history than you’ve ever known!! and Bernie Sanders is in it!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…