The Kove
John Kreese looks at things
[via What About Blagg?]
and while we’re here…
dude, don’t ever f$%k with
[via What About Blagg?]
and while we’re here…
dude, don’t ever f$%k with
Salt
Sodi-YUM!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
So what’s the shaker with Salt?  We don’t want to pepper spray you with all the details, as to ruin any of the run, gun and fun, and there’s a lot of running and a lot of gunning and a result, a lot of funning (boring scenes of explaining stuff are kept to a minimum!!), so we will sums it up like this: Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) is cunning AND sexy CIA agent, who is outed right off the bat as a possible Russian mole, with a job to assassinate a political big wig + kick-start sum biggie global trouble!! Instead of sticking around and pleading her (supposed?) innocence (the ‘is she?’ or ‘isn’t she?’ bidness will keep you glued throughout), she makes like Dr Richard Kimble and goes all out Fugitive, with Liev Schreiber and Chiwetel Ejiofor (Chiwe!!) hot on her trail and tail.  And then things start to get all tricky, and a bit Manchurian Canadite-y and a tad Boys From Brazil-nuts, and then Andre Braugher shows up to play one of the mos abbreviated, unimportant roles of his career.  Braugher power! And then, Zardoz? No, thank gawd
Salt is an stoopid name for a movie (and a character, which was originally intended to be a man’s role!), and yet nothing else about this throwback to good ole mindless action-thrillers (spankfully mostly CGI-free) from the 80s is stoopid.  Salt even revives Regan-era themes, as Russian spies and assassins come in from the cold and it’s all red hot!!  No big sirprize here, coming from able director Phillip Noyce (the two Harrison Ford driven Jack Ryan flicks), who’s paired with mostly unproven scribe Kurt Wimmer (Law Abiding Citizen? Sphere?). The positive grains the two make of Salt is actually good news for us, since they are slated to reunite for the (pointless) remake of Total Recall. Maybe they’ll get our a$$es to Mars!
Don’t you dare say the name Salt, but do you dare see Salt!
Salt of the Earth: wonder if Salt’s name has anything to do with SALT and/or SALT II?
Verdictgo:Â Jeepers Worth A Peepers
Salt opens at a theater near jews this Friday
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…