Thighs Wide Shut

‘Stop The Madness‘

the 80s anti-drug music video starring New Edition, LaToya Jackson, (a very young) Whitney Houston, Nancy Reagan, David Hasselhoff, Kim Fields, Herb Alpert, Casey Kasem, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and many others. With special guest appearance by Boogaloo Shrimp from Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo [Popbitch]

‘Electric Avenue’ by Eddy Grant [d]

Full Metal Jacket gets the honor of being the first Kubrick title released on HD-DVD. For those of yous dying to see Private Pyle blow his head off in the highest possible resolution

Unitarian Universalism shirts

Avoision Pro

Hello Kitty Toaster aint no HK-Dildo

Choose yer own ‘What Is Love’, but no love for the Coz?

Body floss [NSFW]

Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple
You Can Checkout Any Time You Like,
But You Can Never Leave
Trailer
US Release Date – possible theatrical one this year, but either way will be aired on PBS’ American Experience in the ’07

There aren’t that many notorious episodes of mass suicide in the world’s history. One has to stretch to conjure up Masada, Heaven’s Gate, and whatever that was in Uganda. But there’s one event that stands above the rest, and has clouded the American conscience ever since that mos horrible November day back in the ’78: the Jonestown massacre. What could possibly have happened for a reverend to convince 913 members of his flock, including 276 children, to take their own lives in the secluded jungles of Guyana? This unbiased, straightforward, and completely enrapturing documentary, culled from countless interviews of survivors, ex-members and other key figures, and an unbelievable amount of candid audio and video footage, tells the tale that needed to be taled. I can’t believe it took this long for a documentary to be produced about one of America’s darkest and mos fascinating chapters, but butter nate than lever, as I’d say! I’ve hactually been waiting for a doc heggszactly like this ever since my adolescence, when my non-fiction obsessed sister filled my head with scary stories about Jim Jones’ purple Kool-Aid acid test. But the real question is, why only 85 minutes? There’s so much to hexlpore, in particular, the aftermath, so why not 850 minutes? U MUSS see this, or I’ll round up 913 people yer related to and force them to watch, on A-B repeat, that scene in Armed & Dangerous where Eugene Levy is mixing bidness with leather

Recommended for those who like: the January 1962 issue of Esquire, Guyana Airways, and the Polyphonic Spree

Possible Porno Name: Bonetown: Bangin Your Wife While On Meth From Her Poophole To Her Temple

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Guerrilla: The Taking of Patty Hearst [trailer]

Apt MPupil3: Jim Jones’ ‘we must die with some dignity‘ speech [various formats here] AND the Peoples Temple Choir ’73 LP He’s Able [12 d’s here], AND while yer at it, anything by the Brian Jonestown Massacre [d-lode em all here]

IMDb Sweeney: DUDE, they HAVE to re-release the made-for-TV movie called Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones, starring Powers Boothe as JJ, Ned Beatty, Brad Dourif, Diane Ladd, Randy Quaid, AND LeVar Burton. And DUDE, if they ever decide to make a big budget fiasco version of the whole shabang, Ciarán Hinds HAS to play JJ

Jonesin For Mo Jonestown: Heducate yo self here

Did You No: That Guyana and French Guiana isn’t the same Geeyanah? I didn’t

TFF Thighspotting: a former Peoples Temple member, who was luckily sent back to California by Jones two months before he lost his wife and child at the massacre

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show, and Vagina In Show!

How did Resident Bush react to Stephen Colbert’s roast-tissere?

What do the new Radiohead tunes sound like?

Who ironically does 2-D(amon Albarn) want to duet with on the next Gorillaz album?

Where can you see a sheetload of beards and ‘staches in the NYC area?

When one sees something odd coming outta Japan, can we still blame Hiroshima? [NSFW via Marwanicur]

&

Why does it always rain on me? [d]

Mini’s First Time
A Baldwin Lose-Lose Situation
Trailer
US Release Date – this summer? Fitting, since mos summer fare blows the donkey balls yer mother tickles with her tongue

Written like 3 back to back busted-arsed episodes of Entourage (wait, aren’t they all busted-arsed?), Mini’s First Time is a complete failure. You sit there and watch, waiting for it to be good, but it never quite delivers the goods. Mini’s First Time is exactly what you think it is: a girl’s first time. But instead of treating it as a coming of age story, it’s more like the becoming of a whore story. Our Mini is played by the one-note Nikki Reed, who seems to be a 17 year-old version of the lecherous anti-christ she played in the harrowing flick that make me never want to have kids, Thirteen. And this time around, instead of ruining the lives of people her own age, she’s turned her attention to ruining the lives of her heavily loose and heavily drunk mother and stepfather, Carrie-Anne Moss and Alec Baldwin, both respectively wasting their time. You see, for no particular reason, Mini decides to turn tricks and her first client juss so happens to be her stepfather. She goes through with it, but makes sure he doesn’t know its her. Hmmm, he muss be purty dumb to not even recognize his own stepdaughter’s voice. Anywho, shortly thereafter, it’s revealed that she was indeed his fuck for a night and the two embark on a hot and heavy relationship, which to me was so unsettling that I couldn’t get behind them, and thus, couldn’t get behind anything that transgressed from that point forward. They try their best to keep their affair a secret, but they realize that her mom/his wife is standing in their way of true happiness. Since both don’t want her disposed of, they attempt to drive her crazy so she can be admitted to Arkham Asylum, but of course, thru reasons that aren’t even worth my werds, they end up offing her. Blah, blah, blah. Detective Luke Wilson comes in and starts snoopin around and blah, blah, blah. Mini = MC Skat Kat + Poopie². Lettuce be spankfully that the first time won’t likely begat a next time.

Recommended for those who like: Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex, bearskin blankets, and the wit and wisdom of Dr Ian Malcolm

Possible Porno Name: Mini’s First Time

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Lolita [old | new]

Apt MPupil3: ‘Pretty Girls Make Graves’ by The Smiths [d]

IMDb Sweeney: Svetlana Metkina may not be a household name, but I bet many have screamed her name while JOing to her fine NSFW work in Barbarian

TFF Thighspotting: someone thought me mum was Mary Stuart Masterson’s mum, although my mum is 24234 times better lookin, I mean, where do u think I got my franztastic semitic-looks from?

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous

Although we have no clue what Lily Allen‘s first ever gig sounded like last Thursday at Yo Yo, we do know that brother Alfie was there, it led one man to sweat ‘like a rapist‘, and it looked a lil something like this (these snaps are from her DJ set that nite)…

[mo]

And if it was homosapienly possibly, I’d snort her ill-a$$ed lines
like I was Bob Morton on a set of tees in Robocop:

I want to be able to eat spaghetti bolognese
And not feel bad about it for days and days and days
Several magazines they talk about weight loss
If I buy those jeans I can look like Kate Moss

from
‘Everything’s Just Fine’ [d]

Even you’d buy that for a dollar!