Thighs Wide Shut

mo quick hitz!

The Lighthouse

Bless you Robert Eggers.  You know how to strike a mood, and give us the heebie jeebies.  In making a movie about two Lighthouse keepers not keeping sane, you drove us insane, and made quite the pretty picture in the process.  It felt like watching a full-length, b&w version of the part in the R.E.M. ‘Losing My Religion’ video where the spotlight shines on the two dudes

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

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Richard Jewell

Clint Eastwood makes good movies with few surprises, and Richard Jewell is more of the same goodness that comes with and has no surprises.  And it’s certainly no surprise how amazing Paul Walter Hauser is as the title character.  He can fill out any uniform he’s given (did you see him in I, Tonya??), and outperform most people he’s acting along side with.  I’m not a big ‘awards matter’ kinda guy (considering Zodiac has next to none), but not getting a best (supporting) actor nomination is as great an injustice to Hauser as whatever happened to Jewell was!!! Eastwood should make a movie about Hauser’s injustice, and he can play himself!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

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Bombshell

Every year there seems to be a left cinematic takedown on the right, and no matter how liberal my beliefs are (free fried chicken for all!), even I think these take-downs are wearing a bit thin on society.  Preaching to the choir does nothing for the choir.  Then again, Bombshell isn’t as angry, dumb and udderly pointless as last year’s Vice was.  And it’s more than juss saying how horrible Fox News and the right media is, it’s about how horrible they treated women!  Hot women! Mildly nice looking women!  And the dogs!  But the real reason this movie works and keeps yer eyes glued to it is cause the make-up and hair work is beyond comp-HAIR!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

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Little Women

I know nothing really of Louisa May Alcott or her work. I’m sure it’s revered for a reason.  I skipped the previous 1994 iteration of her Little Women (and how did I???  it has both Susan Sarandon AND Winona Ryder!!!), and the 1949 version and the 1933 version.  So going off Greta Grrrrrrrrwig’s 2019 version, all I can say is… maybe this movie would have been more captivating had they spoke in British accents??  I dunno, feels like much to do about zilch-a-rooney.  The only thing I really liked was seeing Louis Garrel‘s nose every 30 or so minutes in the movie.  The rest was too little to care about.  Also, did everyone who voted Florence Pugh into a nomination for this, see her BETTER performance, and a performance for the new ages, in Midsommar?????  All those people, f’shame.  May you be sewn into a bear!!!

Verdictgo:  Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers

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still have some more to see before making my top picks for 2019.  1917 is one of thems.  most recent odds have 1917 as the main favorite to win best picture.  we’ll see!!  maybe I’ll juss hold out for 1918

Beloved
(Les bien-aimés)
How Long Must We Sing This Song?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
NR | 135 min

Beloved‘s a love story (times two), for the ages, and by ages, we mean it takes 9ever to go from Paris’ swinging 60s, to the morose post-9/11 world, but at least there’s singing all along the way!  in French!!!

Yes, we’ve been down this Christophe Honoré path before, with 2007’s Love Songs (Les Chansons d’amour), and we haven’t stop singing that film’s praises.  More like singing that film’s soundtrack (we actually do, and the songs are all in French!!!), and less so about the film itself.   And that’s OK, cause them songs were AMAZING!!!  And the movie itself was pretty darn good too

So what about try #2, with some returning regulars (Catherine Deneuve, Ludivine Sagnier, Chiara Mastroianni, Louis Garrel) + some newbies (Paul Schneider, Radivoje Bukvic & Milos Forman!!!)?  The song remains the same?  Kinda, but with more emotional weight (AIDS!), which also weighs down the affair a lil too much, cause 135 minutes is a long time to hear French people sing about anything (even if it was about naked women eating Popeyes), when we’ve basically already seen this movie before

BUT!  It’s a French modern musical and you can’t really hate on French modern musicals, unless you hate hot & sexy French people singing songs about love and love’s lost and love found, again and again!!!  And do you not want to see mother Deneuve play screen-mother to her real life daughter Mastroianni, again?  Heck, we wish every movie employed Deneuve/Mastroianni to play mother-daughter!  Heck, we wish that they were our mother and our sister (no offense to our mother and our sister)!  Heck!!!  And they sing, a lot!!!! IN FRENCH!!!  And so does Paul Schneider (in English)!!!!  PAUL SCHNEIDER SINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: it’s no Love Songs (Les Chansons d’amour), but we’ll take it over not having a quasi-sequel, so low end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Beloved sings its song this Friday in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…