Thighs Wide Shut

Uncut Gems
Sterling, Sharp
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 134 min

This isn’t one of those Adam Sandler movies where he gets hit in the balls for laughs.  It’s the kind where he gets his balls stomped on. YOU GO SANDLER!!!  YOU GO GET YOUR BALLS STOMPED ON!!!  Why don’t you go to that balls stomped on place more often?  Maybe all Adam’s ever needed was to have them Safdie Bros turn his softie-self into the hardie he always needed to be.  Uncut Gems finds the Safdie’s picking up where they left off with their last feature – GoodTime – but ramp up the intensity and insanity a notch here + adding some unlikely excellent supporting work by Kevin Garnett, and even Mike Francesa(???!!!!). Fun, and wrenching throughout, but you may just be a bit too on edge by the time the insanity jumps of the cliff at the very end.  Balls to the wall Sandler!  Stomp on!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

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A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Better Off Fred
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG | 109 min

See the MOS EGGSALAD doc Won’t You Be My Neighbor? instead – and pass on this movie altogether, which uses Mister Rogers and his show as a vehicle for a journalist’s journey of self-discovery and therapy for cleaning up his life.  The problem?  The journalist is sorta real, but his life story is wholly fictionalized, and not even that interesting to begin with.  Still, Hanks IS incredible and you MUSS see his performance, but wait til it hits Blockbuster Video, and just FFwd to all his WONDERFUL parts

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badgers

Gems gleams and Neighboorhood needs some new neighbors, currently at a theater near jews and white nationlists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Extremely Loud
and Incredibly Close
Incredibly Cloying & Kinda Extremely Moving
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 120 min

When we told people we saw this movie, they had never heard of it, so we started calling it that ‘Tom Hanks 9/11′ movie.  That rang a few bells for some, but it’s hactually not fair to the film to label it like that… cause that sounds like a film no one would want to see (including us), and yet, it’s a movie you should see

Based off of the novel by Jonathan Safran Foer, director Stephen Daldry and writer Eric Roth walk a fine line between overwrought and amazing, and ends up with something that’s a happy medium of the two.  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a lot like other flicks Daldry has directed (The Hours, Billy Elliot, The Reader), in tone and presentation (and over doing the Oscar baiting), cept this is the only one we really liked.  You did it Daldry!!

And what’s the story September 11th morning unglory?  Tom Hanks dies in the Twin Towers, and his neurotic and curious and overly animated son (kid Jeopardy! winner! Thomas Horn) becomes even more neurotic and curious and overly animated.  He hungers for answers, and finds his question in the form of a key left behind by his dad with no known lock that it fits into.  This sets him off on (that’s an oxymoron!) a journey of discovery and self-discovery, which will not so sirprizingly, help him come to terms of departed endearment.  Won’t say much more, cause the journey here really IS the meat, and the key is simply an egg MacGuffin.  Horn is both annoying and incredible (hispecially during the scenes where he gets really amped up and we get these fabulous montages of what he’s babbling on about), and gets very solid support from mom Sandra Bullock (who’s kinda absent, in many ways, for 4/5ths of the flick), a mute Max von Sydow (was Chris Plummer not available to steal this role?), Viola Davis and Jeffrey Wright

The key thing to understand here is that while 9/11 looms heavy on the minds of the characters and the viewer, it’s not really a 9/11 movie.  It’s about a boy who loses his beloved father and how much that sucks balls.  His father coulda have died in a car accident, and the movie still woulda packed an emotional punch, and you still woulda wanted to punch the kid in the face… and then hug him 9ever

moral of the story: Daldry didn’t make a movie that made us want to jump out of a window like The Hours did.  YOU REALLY DID IT DALDRY!!!

Trouble in the Message Centre: best supporting answering machine of 2011 goes to the AT&T 1710/20, WHICH IS THE SAME EXACT ONE WE OWNED IN THE LATE 90s!!!!

remembering answering machines???

Verdictgo: very high end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

EL&IC gets close to your heart in selected theaters on X-Mas and everywhere on January 20th

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

pee es – the film has one of the würst posters EVERSSSSSS