Peace The Forks Out

to

The Face of Leather

+

Maureen O’Hara

+

The Finest Game Show Host Ever - Jim Perry

 

+

Big Al Delvecchio

+

He Made TV Mobiles

+

the guy who wrote

Rodham

SHE WROTE E.T. – THANK YOU!!!!!

Allen Toussaint

Yo! MTV Raps creator

JanSporter

LOVE HIM DO!!!

he lit fires to chariots

the dude that gave us theseus!!

that Indian actor guy!

Philthy Animal

he found a Gateway

Flip Saunders

he was Henry the VIII (who hasn’t?)

he won 4 Stanley Cups

two Olympic golds in 800-meter eventer

he went to two Super Bowls

Fred Thompson

former president of South Korea

fifth president of Israel

greatest scout of all time

Cary Grant ‘wife’

he was mad Fly

he netted Maris for the Yanks

Legendary San Fran stripper

some artist

some basketball coach

Don Vito

Cap’n Mitch

‘Fast Eddie’ Hoh

he had one life to live

IBM’s mainframe main dude

Britain’s most famous brothel keeper

(Bartles &) Jaymes

some folk singer

Hobby’s Deli guy

Mars Bar dude

HE MIXED THE SOUND OF STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!

he was Brave

Deadwood guy dead as wood

a Jew who’s twin was a Nazi!!!

skateboarding dog

&

Details Magazine

many covers of which, lived on my teenage wall

which also gave us the scariest photo I’ve ever seen

&

The Betamax format

and

Peace The Forks out to all those people in Paris, and all the people who aren’t famous around the world who have died.  we’re thinking of you :(

and the scariest magazine photo that I’ve ever did done seen remains this David LaChapelle pic of Tori Spelling from the September 1993 issue of Details Magazine

and apparently Tori agrees…

LaChapelle pushes his celebrity subjects into caricaturing their carefully tended images. The results range from stunning to grotesque. Tori Spelling-made up to look like a cross between a prostitute and a prom queen-was so distraught during her shoot that she ran to the bathroom in tears [NY Mag]

Antichrist
Antiwatchable
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Forget about every other sentence that appears in this review, cause in this first sentence we will tell you all you need to know about Lars von Trier‘s latest slit yer eyes out repoopfest:
IT IS ONE OF THE WORSTESTESTESTEST FILMS OF BALLS THYME SO DO NOT GO AND SEE IT NO MATTER WHAT OR TWAT (UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR SPOUSE TO DIVORCE OR KILL YOU) EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE CURIOUS FROM ALL THE HULLABALOO BEING BALLOED ABOUT IT BUT YER REALLY BETTER OFF STAYING HOME AND SELF-MUTILATING YOUR OWN PRIVATES THAN PAY TO WATCH CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG SLICE OFF A PIECE OF HER VAGINA WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS BUT NOT BEFORE SHE DRILLS A HOLE INTO WILLEM DAFOE‘S LEG AND PUTS A WEIGHT ON IT SO HE CAN’T MOVE AND THEN JERKS HIM OFF WHICH LEADS TO BLOOD AND NOT JIZZ SQUIRTING OUT OF HIS JOHNSON FOR NO GOOD REASON OTHER THAN IT’S THEIR WAY OF GRIEVING FOR THEIR DEAD CHILD AND SO IF THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF ENTERTAINMENT THAN FEEL FREE TO GIVE MONEY TO LARS VON WTF-IER SO HE CAN KEEP ON MAKING CRAP ON A STICK AND STICK ON A CRAP (ALTHOUGH HIS DANCER IN THE DARK IS NEITHER CRAP NOR A STICK) THAT LOOKS VERY ARTY BUT ARTY IN MORE OF A FARTY KINDA WAY AND DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE WE SAID A WOMAN CUTS OFF A PART OF HER VA-JAY-JAY CAUSE YOU CAN MISS IT BY NOT SEEING THIS MOVIE WHICH IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST AND EVEN IF YOU HATE CHRIST THIS IS AN INSULT TO THE REAL ANTICHRIST WHICH IS BRETT RATNER BUT IF BRETT RATNER DIRECTED THIS MOVIE IT HACTUALLY MIGHT HAVE BEEN LESS PAINFUL ON THE EYES AND THIGHS!!!!!!!!!!!!! and here’s yer second sentence: the above may contain spoilers, whoops!

Liquid Jesus: the opening scene is probably the only semi-watchable part of the whole enchilada, but only cause it reminded us a forkload of them criznazzy Calvin Klein Obsession ads (sadly SNL’s Compulsion by Calvin Kleen aint on the nets)

Verdictgo: without a doubt Slit Yer Clit Off Repoopulous

Christ spits hellfire in NY/LA/SF/DC only this Friday, and elsewhere hopefully nowhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…