there was only one true winner from the 90th Academy Awards -  everyone’s eyes

Eiza González is smoking hot

Baby Driver
iPod Racing
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 113 min

Lets face it - Edgar Wright isn’t THAT great of a director, but man, does that guy certainly try to direct the fcuk out of his movies, and man, does he sure like to have fun, and hopes that you will too.  I’ve sorta had fun seeing all of his films (he’s definitely good at ideas and decent at humor), but I have only truly loved one of them – Hot Fuzz. I didn’t LOVE love his latest – Baby Driver – but it was certainly fun (and more fun but not nearly as good as the seriously driven Drive was), and it was certainly better than all of his other (non-Fuzzy) films that juss weren’t quite there

Had Baby Driver been directed by someone else, say Guy Ritchie or Matthew Vaughn, or even the the Wachowskis, this could have been something momentous.  Ritchie or Vaughn could have made it more polished, and taken the tongue with the cheek, instead of juss being mostly a wagging tongue.  The Wachowskis failed with Speed Racer, but I think they would have soared with the keys to Baby Driver.  Directed by Edgar, the film felt not quite Wright (the car driving scenes in particular didn’t seem overly fast nor furious enuff), but as a whole, it was better than OK, and that’s… OK, cause I really liked the main character – A LOT!  Juss wish the presentation was more presentable, + all the side attractions needed more traction to them

Speaking of the man and the man who played him - Baby Driver IS Ansel Elgort‘s young Han Solo movie.  A finalist for the role he didn’t get, Elgort does super fine as a slick and cool maverick pilot (of a car) flying/driving into the heart of danger, and coming out of it each and every time barely alive, but even slicker and cooler than he was before!  He even wears a jacket that’s very Han-y Solo-ish

Dude – Baby Driver IS Ansel Elgort As Young Han Solo The Movie!!!

But what about everything else?

The movie is all about the soundtrack, and while there are some choice cuts (‘Harlem Shuffle’, Blur’s ‘Intermission’, the Beach Boys’ ‘Let’s Go Away For Awhile’), a lot of the other choices were either too obvious, kinda forgettable, or didn’t match the speed of the car/action.  If I ever made a movie, and had a car chase in it, I would certainly use Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Run’.  But I’m probably not going to make a movie, so I’ll juss be critical of people who do make em!

loved the Michael Meyers mask joke, juss wish it wasn’t ruined for me in the trailer

Lily James is a peach as baby’s babe, but maybe a bit too syrupy sweet

Kevin Spacey somehow doesn’t chew enough of the scenery as you think he would

Jon Hamm is likable, and then becomes detestable – and who wants to endure an unlikable Jon Hamm?

Jamie Foxx – I dunno what he was, but I could barely understand any of his lines of dialog, so he didn’t really register with me

Speaking of a foxx…

HUBBA BUBBA YUBBA HUMMANANA HUMMMMMANA AY DIOS MIO 

Eiza González!!!!!

Verdictgo: juss enuff to make it a Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Baby goes into overDriver currently at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Fault In Our Stars
Topic of Cancer
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 125 min

Oh, how cute – two cancer kids making nice with each other, cause no one else wants to bother with them, besides their doctors, cautious parents, or friends… who also have/had cancer.  But there’s no fault in that in The Fault In Our Stars – the movie version made of the beloved novel by John Green, cause if you like two kids making nice, who are nice, regardless of their health – then you will like this movie

OK, so maybe one of them kids – Mr Perfect Ansel Elgort – is a little too perfect.  He’s TOOO charming.  He’s too sure of himself.  He’s TOOO positive.  And maybe even a bit too dreamy.  And what about the object of his affection Shailene Woodley?  Oh, man, is she such a lil good actress.  AND SHE EVEN MAKES HER OWN TOOTHPASTE – IN REAL LIFE!!!  But in Fault, she’s not making toothpaste – she making smiles, and tears and making heart strings tug – for herself and fo you

But even for a movie about kids with hardships – everything seems to come to them WAY too easy.  Oh, you want to go to Amsterdam to meet your favorite author ever, who’s now an angry drunk recluse (Willem Dafoe, with cool glasses)?  NO PROBLEM!  ALL YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE!  How about falling in love in the least passionate place ever – Anne Frank’s House!  Sure, why not!  Love don’t holo-cost a thang!!!  Oh, you have trouble walking up steps cause your lungs have cancer?  No worries, we’ll put your bedroom in an attic so you have to climb stairs all the time!

But, but, but, but I don’t care.  I like cancerous him and I like cancerous her, and I like them together.  You will too  

And you will like their friend Nat Wolff – who was also in Palo Alto – which is fitting cause in that movie he was BFF with Val Kilmer’s son Jack, who looks like Ansel Elgort (sorta)

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Fault doubles up in theaters TODAY!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…