The Importance of Borgnineing Ernest
Peace The Forks Out
to
BorgNINEever!!!!



+
& belated belated belated to…
to



+
& belated belated belated to…
not about last night…

Michael & Kirk Douglas kiss, while Burt Lancaster watches at the 57th Academy Awards, March 25, 1985
+

whooooppppppppppie!!!

every year we instantly pick the Academy Award winners
and every day we pick your nose & uranus
Best Picture
WINNER: Winter’s Boring!! NOT! NEVER!!! Will Speech upset Network? NOT! NEVER!!! NEITHER!!!
Actor
WINNER: since Firth lost last year, it’s his ‘turn’
Actress
WINNER: we call BS, as the Academy turned their back on these two Brits’ brilliant performances: Lesley Manville in Another Year and Katie Jarvis in Fish Tank. Portman will most likely get it, but wouldn’t be sirprized if Bening takes it, since it might also be her ‘turn’ to win
Supporting Actor
WINNER: pail frail Bale
Supporting Actress
WINNER: nice work for including Jacki Weaver, but we still weren’t convinced of Hailee Steinfeld’s acting chops, and we’re sure she’ll never be nominated ever again, so boo on that. doesn’t matter cause Melissa Leo‘s gonna walk home with the golden man and take a golden shower on it
Director
WINNER: Fincher, in a make-up call for Zodiac‘s zero Oscar noms… at least that’s how we see it in our heads
Foreign Film
WINNER: have only seen Biutiful, but doubt it will win. heard nuttin but batshit crazy good shit about Dogtooth, so either that or In A Better World, but probably In A Better World cause not everyone loves batshit crazy good shit
Adapted Screenplay
WINNER: Aaron Sorkin (Network) is gonna celebrate with a mountain of blow longer than the Pyrenees
Original Screenplay
WINNER: you can’t get more original than taking a page out of the history books, er, um, yea, and so Speech will be fluent in this category… but don’t count out the Kids, cause theys All Right
Animated Feature Film
WINNER: take one guess which one wins
Art Direction
WINNER: we say Royals trump dreams, so Speech!
Cinematography
WINNER: tuff choices, but nuttin had more movement and grace than Black Swan
Costume
WINNER: people may give love to I Am Love, since it got none elsewhere, but period pieces win, PERIOD. Speech
Documentary Feature
WINNER: dear lord, please let Exit Through the Gift Shop win so Banksy gets to take the stage!!!! But we’re thinking this is a Restrepo stop
Documentary (short subject)
WINNER: none of these sound depressing, which is depressing in itself, but Poster Girl sounds really hot, and we love hot stuff!!!
Film Editing
WINNER: no movie moves faster than The Network. duh, it runs on the infotainment superflyway!
Makeup
WINNER: wow, one of these films will win an Oscar! and it’s gonna be The Wolfman, even though Benico del Toro required no additional hair to become a werewolf
Original Score
WINNER: huge middle finger for no Daft Punk/TRON love, but no one’s gonna beat Trent Reznor and that other dude’s Network score anywayzzz
Original Song
“Coming Home†from Country Strong
“I See the Light†from Tangled
“If I Rise†from 127 Hours
“We Belong Together†from Toy Story 3
WINNER: whichever Disney song is cheesier than the other
Animated Short Film
WINNER: The Gruffalo will finish up the night with more statuettes than Mark Ruffalo
Live Action Short Film
WINNER: YES Wewe!
Sound Mixing
WINNER: the sounds of keyboard typing mixed with the sound of Timberlake’s stoopid billion dollar voice = Network
Sound Editing
WINNER: Inception, cause it has to win something? or does it have to?
Visual Effects
WINNER: OK, so Inception will win 2 Awards
Thighs’ Annual Oscar Pool details 9thcoming, as well as our shlong overdue 2010 movie awards, so stay pooned!!!
Here were our early picks in the ’05 & the ’06 & the ’07 & the ’08 & the ’09 & the ’10
