Archive | Best of RSS feed for this section

Thighs Wide Telly 2009

PTI and CBS Sunday Morning are Jesus and Moses of TV. bow to them daily/weekly (cept when both Wilbon & Korny are out or if Bob Ryan is guesting). here are 13 other TV shows we enjoyed, and if you have any taste, did too

1. Misfits (E4, England) – remember how hammazin the first season of Heroes waz? well take that, throw in some chavy shirts and ASBO Skins and what you ends up with is sure and pimply the bestest and brightest show of 2009. only 6 glorious episodes eggsist, and if you live outside of the UK, you won’t even get a chance to watch any em, and thus we openly encourage you to get all illegal and download thems!! it’s dramatastic, HIGHlarious, there’s some NSFWness, it gets 17 nazillion bonus pts for being mainly filmed in and around Thamesmead (remember how much we love to viddy that place well?), and then there’s this…

please America, do not remake this show. juss import it as is

2. 30 for 30 (ESPN) – if your DVR doesn’t have a season pass set to this yumcredible series of docs, you probably don’t have a DVR. The Jimmy The Greek one was one of the moist heartbreaking things we saw in 2009, period. we expect the Bartman one to do the same in 2010. still, this doesn’t make up for the fact of how unwatchable SportsCenter is

3. Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) – the Seinfeld reunion bits were hactually the least compelling parts of season 7, which sez quite a lot about Larry David’s neverending (please, LD, NEVER end em!!!) kvetching exploits spread out over another batch of 10 perfect episodes. we said goodbye to the Black family, but spankfully Leon stayed behind. how else were we to learn that he was Bar Miff-vaed 3 times?

4. Skins (E4, England) – unlike on American shows where the kids stay in high school forevers or in the picture juss way too long, Skins does what it does best – turn its nose to the status quo for teen TV, and then shoves a bunch of drugs up it, cranks the music, drops the clothes and wham-o til the breaka breaka dawn. gone are the kids we’ve grown to know and love (we miss you Sketch!!) and in came a whole new generation of f&ck-ups, ones we were thighly skeptical about at first, who are now our new BFFs… that is until they get tossed aside after season 4! but you already know this cause we never shut up about Skins and the twins who are filthy Fitch

5. Eastbound & Down (HBO) – three words: Kenny ‘F%cking’ Powers. two more: Stevie Janowski

6. Dexter (Showtime) – first they turned Jimmy Smits into killer gold, then John Lithgow went all triple platinum this year. which TV star is next to fall victim to Dex’s midnight runnings? might we suggest Bob Newhart?

7. At The Movies (Syndicated) – normally this show wouldn’t be on this list since it’s a year-round bestness HoFamer (ala PTI/CBS Sun Morn), but sadly was removed from such a distinction after Ben Lyons (and the other Ben) took it over and turned it into amateur amateur (1/2) hour. it was beyond dreadful (and prompted one of the funniest pieces we’ve ever read outta Ebert), but the umpossible became possible when the in over the headcases were dumped for actual legitimate film critics!! kudos to Michael Phillips & AO (A-Oooooooooooooo!) Scott for so quickly righting the ship. sail on sailors!!!

8. Big Love (HBO) – how does Bill continue to make it all work? that unanswered question keeps us glued and drooling with the passing of each intense episode. disaster always looms large, and we hope it surfaces like woooooah with dirty rumors about Margene and Ben flying high

9. The Office (NBC) – say what you will, or what she said, but besides Da Ali G Show, it remains the funniest show of the decade. ‘I will have the spaghetti. With a side salad. If the salad is on top, I send it back.

10. Mad Men (AMC) – needed more Paul Kinsey, but then again, what didn’t?

11. Flight of The Conchords (HBO) – the song-smithery dropped off drastically, and how could it not considering the first season was comprised of about 10+ years worth of material and the second season only 2, but the comedy didn’t skip a beat-off. one word: Garfunkling

12. Kendra (E!) – take the b(r)east part of The Girls Next Door out of the mansion, pair her with an equally sweet and not so sharp soul-mate and let the freak flags fly high! bonus points to Too $hort’s bangin ‘Go Kendra’ ditty, esp in an era when theme music is dying a quick death

13. Breaking Bad (AMC) – has replaced Mad Men as the show that’s beyond critically acclaimed that no one watches

14. Lost (ABC) – it’s hard to deny the magnitude of awesomeness and creativity that Lost has displayed since its debut, but think things went a lil too overboard this past year. yet, nuttin beat the revelation of who Miles’ dad was!

here’s a bunch of series we watch(ed), but are purty indifferent to: 30 Rock (please stop giving them the Emmys and other awards that The Office deserves more ), True Blood (those accents make us want to cut our ears off) Desperate Housewives, Gossip Girl (they blew their load too large in season one), Community (don’t you dare sleep on our boy Abed!), Weeds, In Treatment, Bored To Death + Entourage (everyone finally wised up this year to the fact that this show really f&cking sucks… but we can’t stop watching it either)

and a big middle finger to: the disappointing Prisoner, the too Diablo Codyed United States of Tara, every single episode of Californication besides the final one + that Mormon douche bag from Real World Brooklyn

3 Comments

This Is List: 2010

our list wass suppose to hit handstands on January 1, but we got caught up in affairs of state and states of affair. if you have no idea what wears talksin abouts, neither do we, but we have a list that’s less Schindler and more of a worser version of The Post‘s ole in-out, in-out, with a dollop of Bruno‘s catty game

OUT
IN

Amazon’s Kindle

Det John Kimble
Reducing One’s
Carbon Footprint

Encasing Loved Ones
in Carbonite

Coke Zero

Diet LSD

Jim Zorn

Roger Dorn


Death Panels


Death By Stereo

Jersey Shore

Pauly Shore

Five Guys

Fievel’s Girls

Twitter

Conway Twitty

Max Yasgur’s Farm

Pepperidge Farm


David Keith


Keith David

Abstinence

‘The Safety Dance’

Justin Case

Justin.tv


The Black Eyed Peas
any other kind
of pea you could
possibly think of


The UPS Guy



Ray Guy

Michael Jackson
Jack Michaelson


Pick Six

Sick Pix

Dan Brown

Lane Brown

Clooney Fatigue

Army Fatigues



Twilight



TwigLight

Lady Gaga

Kajagoogoo

Jícama

Vai Sikahema

The Big Three

The Big Mick

Tiger’s Transgressions

Neil Young’s Trans

Tramp Stamps


Terence Stamp
Tramps

H1N1
IG-88

‘That’s What
She Said’


‘What Would
Right Said Fred Do?”
Eco-Terrorism

Iko Iko Terrorism

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ‘006, the ‘007, the ‘008 and the ‘009

9 Comments

Nut Saks Fifth Avenue Anniversary

Thighs Wide Shut turns 5 today, but can we make it 10? that all depends on if we still love doing this in 5 years time (or if Thigh Master children get in the way), and whether you dear Thighlanders still want to read our movie reviews and HJ yerself to sleep to all the lovely boobies we plaster up in here. we thank you from the bottom of our farts for your continued ship of reader, so w/o further Freddy Adu, lettuce set sail on some memories and mammaries of the past year in Thighdumb…

(juss remember, some of the images below are clickable!)

it has nothing to do with anything

Laser Portraits

Giant VHS Tape as 2001 Space Odyssey’s Monolith

aisselles dans les films, blog qui répertorie les films dans lesquels les actrices ont les aisselles poilues, which translates to armpits in films, blog which indexes films in which the actresses have the hairy armpits [NSFW]

41 Hilarious Science Fair Experiments

the life of a hand supermodel

Brenda Warner’s Flat Fap Top To The XLIIIDegree

C’mon, Get Horny!

Elrond Hubbard

Best Roller Coaster Souvenir Photos Ever

The Otl Aicher Pool

He Can’t Hate These Cans

http://www.thighswideshut.org/images/banner/banner01_09_LuckyCharms.jpg

Harry Potter Poster Mash-Up Gallery/Star Wars Poster Mash-Up Gallery

Brian Peppers’ mom

The Birds, w/o the birds

Lions And Tigers And A$$ Tears, Oh My!

Boyd Aviation

ye olde ghetto covers of Arthur C Clarke’s books

http://www.thighswideshut.org/images/banner/banner0608.jpg

by a show of hands

Sexy People

giant women for Andre

SFW XXX

The 30 Worst Autobiography Pun Titles

Thighs Wide Music 2008

Eye Lash

Dennis Green’s â„¢ed caps

sweet cleavages, beer and women making out

Playing The Field‘s playful pictorial euphemisms of Chris Cooley’s junk

Celebrity X-Ray Photo/Breast Enhancements [NSFauxW]

Daycream Relievers

CakeFarts.com [NSFW]

Lik•m•Aid

snaps of jungle vaginas, golden penises, Andy Warhol and much mo from the 54 glory days

Specs-Taters

Judge Reinhold JO material [NSFW]

Swami On Rye

Hello Browness, My Old Friend

Totally Looks Like…



stickers from the 80s

a 1980’s raptastic Wendy’s training video

Ben Kingsley’s a minor threat

Even Beetis Than The Real Thing

Jedi Chefs

photos of an angry Steve Gutenberg

Richard Beymer/Ben Horne’s on-set Twin Peaks photos

MS Paint cover art covers

Стереофотографии из прошлого

More Than Meets The AFI

Han solo loves to grab Princess Leia’s boobs

oops, he crapped his pants

the posters of Drew Struzan

the (ALMOST NSFW) GIF doesnt lie

Young Me – Now Me

The Texas School Book Suppository

extending album art

Casey At Bat, The Classic Poem Unabridged As Told In Words & Baseball Cards

Most Star Wars Actors in a Non-Star Wars Film (including the Jones pics)

NES controller coffee table

the greatestestist love song of balls thyme: ‘Smell Yo Dick’

5 Cats that Look Like Wilford Brimley

Democratic dance off

Playboy centerfolds galore from the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s [NSFW]

Worst Job In The World

youreyeswideshut.com

http://www.thighswideshut.org/images/banner/banner11_11_08.gif

Californication Creamin’ On Such A Winter’s Day

‘That One Night’ by The Hunted

Compliance!

interactive Al Jaffee’s fold-ins for Mad magazine

that theme song from the Raising Arizona soundtrack
actually has a name: ‘Way Out There‘ [d]

Perfect Strangers/Head Of The Class promo rap

SarahJessicaParkerLooksLikeAHorse.com

http://www.thighswideshut.org/images/banner/banner3_08.jpg

behind the scenes of that amazingly ghetro ye olde HBO Jeffersonian starship thingamabob

Evil Alomar

Crooked Rain, Crook & Rainn

previously…

Queer As Fourth

Three’s A Crowd… PLEASER!

In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up

Bring On The Terrible Twos!

0 Comments

Thighs Wide Movies 2008

we saw 190ish flicks in the ‘008
and you probably didn’t

The Thirsty Thirteen
That Didn’t Make Us Thirst Fo Mo’


1) Stranded: I Have Come From A Plane That Crashed On The Mountains – 8466332834357 pa-zillion times more alive than Alive

2) Gran Torino – our ulnar nerve is totally rocked by Ol’ Dirty Harry/Bastard and his lawn

3) Mister Lonely – Michael Jackson, Marylin Monroe and Abraham Lincoln star in the second mos unforgettable film mt EVERest named after a Bobby Vinton song

4) Man On Wire – 90 minutes to be awed by the Twin Towers, not shocked by them

5) Doubt – Streep/Hoffman yell like hell, and it feels like heaven, and we aints talking bout Kramer vs Kramer

6) American Teen – what life is like for people who aren’t Lauren Conrad and her blank starring friends

7) My Winnipeg – we haven’t cared this much about Canada since Strange Brew Jamie Salé

8) Boy A – more like Boy A+

9) The Wrestler – name one movie with Marissa Tomei goings all NSFW that isn’t brilliant?

10) Towelhead – what the suburbs would be like if McCain won

11) Love Songs (Les Chansons d’Amour) – take a chansons on it

12) Blindness – what you can see will hurt you

13) Slumdog MillionaireDanny Boyle is in like Flynn Boyle

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

The Bank Job, Betrayal, Cassandra’s Dream, City of Men, Constantine’s Sword, The Dark Knight, Expired, Frost/Nixon, Frozen River, Happy-Go-Lucky, Rachel Getting Married, Revolutionary Road, Stuck, Trumbo, The Visitor & the first 1/3rd of WALL•E

5rdndth Anal
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards

(Causing A) Scene
of The Year


the goings on at the deli counter in The Wrestler

The Only Thing
From The ‘008
That Made
Motion Pictures Motionless


Ebert’s thumb
being replaced by Ben Lyons
who deserves two thumbs up his butt
(although Ebert’s retort almos makes up for the entire debacle)

Quite Possibly
The Single Gratetistist

Performance By An Old Dude
In The History of
Histories,
Old Dudes,
Performances,
Gratetistists,
Singles,
Possiblys,
& Quites


The Dirty Old Dude at the end of Teeth

Post Her
Post Me
Post Haste!


& the wurstest one

The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Guy of The Year


That Guy
aka Mark Strong
who appeared in 6 movies
including RockNRolla, Body of Lies & Good
(Sir Ben Kingsley was also in 6, but he’s Gandhi in 60 Seconds)

Post Pre-Racial
Blackaliciousiest
Blackface
Since
Neil Diamond In
The Jazz Singer


Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder

Coma Inducing On A
Sunny von Bülow Level


Che Part II
The Flight of the Red Balloon
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
speaking of…

Nine Stuffs More Curious
Than The Curious Case
of Ben Butt


Jake Tusing’s acne in American Teen
Pierce Brosnan singing ‘S.O.S’ [d ] in Mama Mia!
Brad Pitt’s hair in Burn After Reading
Jet Li monkeying around in Forbidden KingDUMB
the plot twists and turns in Roman De Gare
the bowling alley in Antarctica in
Encounters at The End of The World
Mimi Weddell‘s acting career in Hats Off
the death of the Jets and their stadium in My Winnipeg
Rachel Seiferth‘s freaky eyes in Henry Poole Is Here

The Bare Un-Necessities

Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden?
The Not So Incredible Hulk
Death Race
Get Smart
Indy 4
(even though we still do sorta like it)

Least Illainist Villain

the evil air in The Happening

Judd Apatower
That Needs To Be Forgotten
More Than Sarah Marshall


Ken Jeong, ass seen in
Role Models, Pineapple Express & Step Brothers
we get it Ken, you’re an angry Asian
hardy har hardee’s!

Least Bangable Hutt
Since Pizza The


Ziro The Hutt/Capote The Slutt
from The Clone Wars
the mos unwatchable Star Wars thing EVER
yes, even more so than the Christmas Special

Trailers Worth Tractoring
& The Songs From Them
That Execute Butter
Than Norman Mailer’s Bong


Watchmen trailer 1 & 2
‘The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning’
by The Smashing Pumpkins [d]
& ‘Take A Bow’ by Muse [d]

+
one hammazin soundtrack
Love Songs (Les Chansons d’Amour) Soundtrack
&
three mo hammazin trailers
Milk
Frost/Nixon
Waltz With Bashir

An Instrumental
Edward James Almost
As Mental As Jim Mora
& ‘Lux Aeterna’ [d]

(from Requiem For A Dream
& The Two Towers trailer)

‘The Haunted Ocean 4’ [d]
from Waltz With Bashir
a song/scene combo so chilling
it’s repeated 4 times!!!

Bestest Flix
We Netted

Lando Calrissian
Smoothest Mustachio
In All of The Galaxy


Jeffery Wright in Cadillac Records

Unintentional Porn
To Be Wild Titles


Baghead
Hancock
Good Dick
Body of Lies
The Bank Job
Savage Grace
The Wackness
Momma’s Man
Fugitive Pieces
Filth & Wisdom
The Babysitters
My Name Is Bruce
The Foot Fist Way
Nights In Rodanthe
Who’s Your Monkey
Bangkok Dangerous
Another Gay Sequel
Let The Right One In
Midnight Meat Train
Young People F%cking
Gunnin For That #1 Spot
How The Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer

Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award


Richard Italiano
Hippolyte Girardot
Biluxi
Pride Grinn
Bingbing Li
Esme Creed-Miles
Slim Twig
Spo
Jenni Blong
Scoot McNairy
& Imogen Poots

The Gus van Sant
Most Pretentious
Mos(tly) Overhyped
Girl Loses Dog
Girl Finds Dog
Girl Abandons Dog
Movie
For No Reason


Wendy and Lucy

The Death to Smoochy
Worstest Pictures
of the Year


War, Inc.
Penelope
Ping Pong Playa &
Everybody Wants To Be Italian

Welcome To The House, Dolls

Briana Evigan

Step Up 2

Kitty Zhang Yuqi

CJ7

Odette Yustman

Cloverfield

Justine Waddell

The Fall

Clémence Bretécher & Charley Fouquet


A Girl Cut In Two

Roxane Mesquida

The Last Mistress

Elena Anaya

Savage Grace

Viktoria Winge

Reprise

Natalie Dormer

Flawless

India de Beaufort

Run Fatboy Run

Bérénice Bejo

OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies

Hannah Bailey

American Teen

Hayley Atwell

Cassandra’s Dream & Brideshead Revisited

Natalia Avelon

Eight Miles High

Elaine Cassidy

When Did You Last See Your Father?

Jess Weixler

Teeth

Li Bingbing

Forbidden Kingdom

Nathalie Paulding

The Life Before Her Eyes

Donna Feldman & Yamit Sol


You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

Sara Simmonds & Kathleen Luong

In Search of A Midnight Kiss

Lucy Holt

Mister Foe

Catherine ‘Cat’ Taber

Clone Wars

Rachel Specter & Sarah Wright


The House Bunny

Natalie Martinez

Death Race

Archie Panjabi

Traitor

Summer Bishil

Towelhead

Trilby Glover

88 Minutes & Righteous Kill

Tiffany Mulheron

RockNRolla

Moon Bloodgood

What Just Happened

Sharon Leal

Soul Men

Sarah Greene

Eden

Ashley Greene

Twilight

Andria Blackman

What Doesn’t Kill You

Zoe Kazan

Revolutionary Road

Olga Kurylenko & Gemma Arterton


+ a ton o other Quantum of Solace hotties

Gabe Nevins

Paranoid Park

Lynndie England

Standard Operating Procedure

Movies To Look
For In The ‘009


Miss Pettigrew Some Balls
Untitled Jason Statham Drives A Car Movie
Three Men & A Baby Mama Mia!
The Walrus Was Paul Blart
Pleatherheads
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Lebron James
Welcome Home Rosco P Coltrane
Tyler Perry’s Run Out of Ideas
The Secret Life of Beef Stroganoff
8 Fast, 8 Furious

lookin for a second opinion?
mumsy and dadsy Thigh Master weigh in!

Mumsy’s
Magnificent Seven+3

1. Slumdog Millionaire
2. Frozen River
3. Rachel Getting Married
4. The Wrestler
5. Doubt
6. Under The Same Moon
7. Burn After Reading
8. The Year My Parents Went On Vacation
9. I’ve Loved You So Long
10. The Life Before Her Eyes

Worst Adaptation From A Book
The Other Boleyn Girl

Worst Movie Ever
Zombie Strppers!

Best Actress
Meryl Streep, Doubt

Best Actor
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Papa’s Picks

1. Young @ Heart
2. Slumdog Millionaire
3. The Wrestler
4. Roman de Gare
5. Tell No One
6. The Edge of Heaven
7. Where God Left His Shoes
8. Frozen River
9. I’ve Loved You So Long
10. The Life Before Her Eyes
11. Under The Same Moon
12. Rachel Getting Married
13. Choose Connor

Best Ensemble
Burn After Reading

Best Vampire Film
Let The Right One In

Should Be A Must See Cult Movie
Zombie Strippers!
don’t forget to peep out our ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

0 Comments

In Oder Aus for the ‘009

when The Post mixes with the Bruno in the mix bowl that be our brains, you get our anal-ual this thing…

OUT
IN

Caroline Kennedy

Kennedy Fried Chicken
Bailouts

Christian Bale’s
annoying
Batman voice

JJ ABRAMS

ee cummings

Blair & Chuck

Chuck & Buck


One-Eyed
Willy


Chilly Willie
The Penguin

Twist Endings

Twistys.com*

Blur reunion
rumors

an actual
Blur reunion

Chipotle Farts

Nick Nolte’s Farts

The American
Recession

The Vienna
Secession

Tainted Love

Tainted Taints

girls wanting
more SATC

girls wanting
more nut sack


Keith David


David Keith

The Bermuda
Triangle

The Triangle Below
Canal Street

Saucer Eyes

Saucer Thighs

Frost/Nixon

Nixon/Frost

Men Who Look
Like Lesbians

Lesbians Who Look
Like Thespians

hating
Boston sports

hating Boston
Baked Beans




riding Eeyore


riding Jillian Beyor*

The US Open
The US Closed


Zooey Deschanel

Zoe Kazan

Wii The People

X-Box Munching

Thighs Wide Shut

Pies Chide Smut

David Foster Wallace

Dee Wallace


Zardoz


Zubaz

She Hate Me

He Hates These Cans

Whitney Port

Port Wine Cheese

going off on a tangent

going on off a cosine

Katy Perry

Perry Katie

Nazi-Themed
Movies

Yahtzee-Themed
Movies


Pinkberry


Tackleberry

$5 foot longs

$4.99 foot longs

The Apple Dumpling
Gang Rides Again

The Apple Dumpling
Gang Bangs, Again


* denotes NSFWness

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ‘006, the ‘007 and the ‘008

and here’s what was in/out back in 1994


[Visual Culture and Health Posters]

0 Comments
eXTReMe Tracker