coming this fall…

Lindsey Gort as young Samantha Jones on the Carrie Diarrheas

WOWWWWWWWWWSEZERRZSSSZ!!!

coming right now…

me, you and anyone looking at that photo right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gort milk?

she reminds me of a young Julie Condra!

I’m So Excited
(Los amantes pasajeros)
Bumpy Ride
Official Website | Trailers & Mo 
R | 90 min

YESSSSSSSSS, another Pedro Almodóvar movie!!!!!  Wouldn’t miss it for the world, especially since Almodó has made some of my moist flavorite movies since the inception of this website.  In that time, we’ve been royally treated to Bad Education, Volver, Broken Embraces, and a movie still giving me the heeeebie jeeeeebies two years later - The Skin I Live In.  He can’t miss, right?  Er, um, uh, uh, uh, apparently he can.  NOOOOO!!!  His sex, drugs and rocky & rolly plane dramedy I’m So Excited is about as exciting as going through customs, and is about as straight and narrow as taking a box of puzzle pieces and throwing them into a second box of puzzle pieces, throwing a feather boa around them, and then giving them the dirtiest, sloppiest blow job.  Er, um, what?  Exactly.  Can’t make heads or tailwinds of what this movie’s suppose to be, but what it isn’t is an Almodóvar winner.  It’s a dud (pains me to say), but still a well spirited one.  If only the movie was 90 minutes of Javier Cámara, Raúl Arévalo & Carlos Areces doing this.  But it’s not.  If only the movie was 90 minutes of Blanca Suárez showering.  Alas, it is also not that.  DRATS

 

Verdictgo:  Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

don’t get too Excited, currently playing in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

the best movies are the ones that permanently instill images on yer brain for life, but sometimes the images are not eggzactly things you really want imprinted on yer brain for life, even of the movie is phenomenal

take Oliver Stone’s BRILLIANT and jarring JFK for example.  and no, we’re not talking about the endless shots of our 35th President getting plugged in the head, back and to the left, repeat, repeat, repeat.  wees talking about the gayest and creepiest gayest and scariest gayest scene in a movie that we’ve ever did done did seen…

this is the orgy scene where Clay Shaw (Tommy Lee Jones) and David Ferrie (Joe Pesci) and ‘Willie O’Keefe’ (Kevin Bacon) get all Barry Lyndon and FTD florist guy dressed up and do blow and blow each other, and it remains THE gayest AND creepiest gayest AND scariest gayest scene in a movie that we’ve ever EVER EVVVVVVVVER done did did seen, ever.  we saw this when we were 14 and haven’t seen anything creepyscarygayer than this, AND DON’T WANT TO (although we did walk out of Fellini’s Satyricon, which was plenty gay, but we walked out of the movie mainly cause it sucks).  in fact, if I WERE gay (we’re actually only 1/16th gay IRL), I’d probably keep myself from being gay cause this JFK orgy scene scared me straight fo life.  hooray for boobs!

lesson? no idea, but if I ever do run into a shirtless golden Tommy Lee Jones in my travels, I’m gonna slit my eyes out and cut off my penis

I love Maron

(the TV show.  I know nothing of podcasts)

and moister importantlyer

Nora Zehetner

so adorable that she need not even open her eyes!

she’s a thinking man’s Rachel Bilson

and we forget all about after we fell in love with her in Brick, and then remembered her when she stalked Maron on Maron, and now we wish she would stalk us  

oh, and

we also love this guy 

Josh Brener

who’s like a nerdier, goofier littlerer Griffin Dunne

Maron!!!!!

with out you Americas, there would be no White Stripes or magic or White Stripes Magic or Meg White’s boobs or Meg White’s boobs magic!!!

[via Tangible JW]