Thighs Wide Shut

Thighs Wide Shut turns 5 today, but can we make it 10? that all depends on if we still love doing this in 5 years time (or if Thigh Master children get in the way), and whether you dear Thighlanders still want to read our movie reviews and HJ yerself to sleep to all the lovely boobies we plaster up in here. we thank you from the bottom of our farts for your continued ship of reader, so w/o further Freddy Adu, lettuce set sail on some memories and mammaries of the past year in Thighdumb…

(juss remember, some of the images below are clickable!)

it has nothing to do with anything

Laser Portraits

Giant VHS Tape as 2001 Space Odyssey’s Monolith

aisselles dans les films, blog qui répertorie les films dans lesquels les actrices ont les aisselles poilues, which translates to armpits in films, blog which indexes films in which the actresses have the hairy armpits [NSFW]

41 Hilarious Science Fair Experiments

the life of a hand supermodel

Brenda Warner’s Flat Fap Top To The ^XLIIIDegree

C’mon, Get Horny!

Elrond Hubbard

Best Roller Coaster Souvenir Photos Ever

The Otl Aicher Pool

He Can’t Hate These Cans

Harry Potter Poster Mash-Up Gallery/Star Wars Poster Mash-Up Gallery

Brian Peppers’ mom

The Birds, w/o the birds

Lions And Tigers And A$$ Tears, Oh My!

Boyd Aviation

ye olde ghetto covers of Arthur C Clarke’s books

by a show of hands

Sexy People

giant women for Andre

SFW XXX

The 30 Worst Autobiography Pun Titles

Thighs Wide Music 2008

Eye Lash

Dennis Green’s â„¢ed caps

sweet cleavages, beer and women making out

Playing The Field‘s playful pictorial euphemisms of Chris Cooley’s junk

Celebrity X-Ray Photo/Breast Enhancements [NSFauxW]

Daycream Relievers

CakeFarts.com [NSFW]

Lik•m•Aid

snaps of jungle vaginas, golden penises, Andy Warhol and much mo from the 54 glory days

Specs-Taters

Judge Reinhold JO material [NSFW]

Swami On Rye

Hello Browness, My Old Friend

Totally Looks Like…

stickers from the 80s

a 1980’s raptastic Wendy’s training video

Ben Kingsley’s a minor threat

Even Beetis Than The Real Thing

Jedi Chefs

photos of an angry Steve Gutenberg

Richard Beymer/Ben Horne’s on-set Twin Peaks photos

MS Paint cover art covers

Стереофотографии из прошлого

More Than Meets The AFI

Han solo loves to grab Princess Leia’s boobs

oops, he crapped his pants

the posters of Drew Struzan

the (ALMOST NSFW) GIF doesnt lie

Young Me – Now Me

The Texas School Book Suppository

extending album art

Casey At Bat, The Classic Poem Unabridged As Told In Words & Baseball Cards

Most Star Wars Actors in a Non-Star Wars Film (including the Jones pics)

NES controller coffee table

the greatestestist love song of balls thyme: ‘Smell Yo Dick’

5 Cats that Look Like Wilford Brimley

Democratic dance off

Playboy centerfolds galore from the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s [NSFW]

Worst Job In The World

youreyeswideshut.com

Californication Creamin’ On Such A Winter’s Day

‘That One Night’ by The Hunted

Compliance!

interactive Al Jaffee’s fold-ins for Mad magazine

that theme song from the Raising Arizona soundtrack
actually has a name: ‘Way Out There‘ [d]

Perfect Strangers/Head Of The Class promo rap

SarahJessicaParkerLooksLikeAHorse.com

behind the scenes of that amazingly ghetro ye olde HBO Jeffersonian starship thingamabob

Evil Alomar

Crooked Rain, Crook & Rainn

previously…

Queer As Fourth

Three’s A Crowd… PLEASER!

In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up

Bring On The Terrible Twos!

Watchmen
Hero Worship That’s Beyond See Worthy
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

An asshole assassin with a love of cigars and beating women (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, that guy, who always plays someone’s dead love interest), a kick-ass sex kitten who mixes bidness with leather (Malin Akerman, YUM), a glowing blue dude with almighty powers and a free hanging shlong (Billy Crudup, and his blue balls), a megalomaniac pretty boy with plenty of pretty toys (Matthew Goode, gayer than Gay comics), a dorky guy with more sexual frustration than a eunuch (Patrick Wilson, he’s almos as hot as Malin!), and a sociopath whose holds barred are no-er than the movie starring Hulk Hogan (Jackie Earle Haley, who could/should get an Oscar nom for this). You and wees know and love them better as the Watchmen, and if you don’t knows and loves thems then you have some serious issues… to catch up on

Well, the wait is finally over and the weight of the world’s expectations on Zack Snyder‘s big screen adaptation of the seminal Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons/John Higgins masterpiece has been lifted, and the result is simply irresistible (be sure to look out for the Robert Palmer ref in the film!). Fanboys and purists will rejoice, newbies will be overwhelmed at first glance, but ultimately converted, and everyone (including you ladies out there) will walk away wanting to bang Silk Spectre II in an Owlmobile, on Mars or anywhere their hearts and farts desire after they witness her fitness (more on her below)

That’s right folks, the Watchmen flick does not disappoint in any way, shape or form… well at least to us it didn’t. While watching, we ran the gamut of emotions, from headshaking disbelief of its faithfulness to the book, to open mouth awe-gaping in amazement at this technical achievement, to full out boners, and not juss for SSII, but for the fact that this could be one of the bestest super hero movies mt EVEREST (can’t hurt when the source material is the knees bees to end all knees bees)

Sure, some of the characters and lil side and back stories and other goodies have been thrown overboard like the pirate in the Tales of the Black Freighter, but we’re not going to complain when this lean 163 minuted version of the film passed like it was 23 minutes long (we welcome the 190 minute director’s cut that we assume will feel like it’s 37 minutes long).

But we are who we is so we will state our minor complaints: no love for the origin of Rorschach’s mask??? the soundtrack was solid, but why leave out the killer tunes from the two trailers (‘The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning’ by The Smashing Pumpkins [d] ‘Take A Bow’ by Muse [d])?? and thanks for the NSFW Malin stuffs, but no NSFW for her mumsy Carla Gugino? Sure, it woulda come at an awful point in the story, but it’s common knowledge that her sin-citytastic screen body doesn’t deserve clothes!! One complaint you won’t find here is anything to do with the ‘new ending’. Not much has really changed, and whatever has doesn’t affect the outcome and the wallop it packs. There’s actually some nice minor touches added here and there (most are in the montage at the beginning, like showing the Comedian actually plugging JFK, and Ozymandias hanging out at Studio 54 with Ziggy Stardust and the Village People + the 1984 Apple commerical) and they only add to the fun. We could go on an on, but we’re too busy trying to finger out when we’re gonna see it again

Who watches the Watchmen? Hopefully everyone!

Crowning Achivement: it’s been too long (that’s what she said), so we’re doing what mus be done and naming a brand spankin new Her Royal Thighness. meat the sweetest Swedish fish mt vesuvius, Malin Maria Ã…kerman (with or w/o the brunette wig), Her Royal Thighness IX!!!!!

Verdictgo: BREAST IN SHOW!!!!!

Watchmen opens at a theater new Jews this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Hara Kiri covers [NSFW]

Defamer’s final word, booty

muss read: when Roeper interviewed Siskel & Ebert

apparently love didn’t save the day, and apparently we’re two months late on this knowledge

Playing The Beatles Backwards: The Ultimate Countdown + Full 10 Minute take of The Beatles’ ‘Revolution 1’ Leaks

punchy donkey scenes from Donkey Punch [NSFW]

Marlon Wayans + other unnecessary GI Joe action figures

Famous When You’re Born

Peaches Geldof, whatta peach [NSFW]

Conchords season 2 hasn’t eggzactly rocked the party like season 1 did, but with moments like this

it still rocks our heart and bone of funny

RT: Celebrity Pose-Off

The Office musical, not a firestarter like Ryan, but who doesn’t love a good Office montage?

that’s what he said

140 Faces Of Well Known Bloggers You Won’t Want To Miss

director Daniel Myrick buys clothes from Target, juss like everyone else does (yes, even we have that shirt. it’s so comfortable that we usually wear it on any flight we take)

Playboy‘s 1st issue [NSFW]

Jack Bauer is a lot like Rainn Wilson’s 4 yr old son

Top 5 Songs I’d Like To Be Shot Down In a Hail of Gunfire In Slow Motion To

Liveblogging Machiavelli’s The Prince: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6

&

Richard Beymer/Ben Horne’s on-set Twin Peaks photos

Crossing Over
An Immigrant Song Out of Tune
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Traffic, minus the drugs and gratuitous color schemes + Babel, but with Australian NSFWness instead of Japanese + the beyond schmaltzyness of Crash = Crossing Over, which is sadly not the big screen adaptation of John Edward’s contacting the dead hocus pocusness. Yep, he we go again with yet another criss-crossing character overload, this time around tackling the topic of illegal immigrants in the LA area and their desire to become US citizens, and it is by far the weakest outta the group mentioned above. So if the thought of them films drive you more batty than William Peter Blatty, you may want to deport yerself from going to see director Wayne Kramer‘s expansion of his own short film of the same name. The subject matter is close to Kramer’s heart, as he was a South African turned naturalized USer, and his passion for this project (does that make it a passion project?) is obvious on-screen, but it’s thighly doubtful that you’ll be able to share in any of his feelings

There’s too many stories being randy the rammed down our throats at once, and a majority of them are either not interesting (cutie pie Jim Sturgess pretending to be a deeply devout Jew), underdeveloped (Ashley Judd feels sorry for some motherless African kid) or something anyone wants to see anymore on film (Ray Liotta playing his 8321763175th bazillion creepazoid). The main vignette revolves around an immigration agent with a heart (Harrison Ford), who goes out of his way to stop the Russians from unleashing alien powers from Mayan temples help helpless hot illegals (like Alice Braga) and deal with the Iranian old-world ways of his partner (Cliff Curtis, aka ‘that guy’)’s family. His misadventures ultimately come to a head at a swearing in ceremony at the film’s end, and unintended hilarity ensues. Luckily, amongst all the turds, there was one tale that shined through. It was about a young Muslim girl (Summer Bishil, proving she’s no one-hit wonder after the hard to watch but MUSS SEE Towelhead) and how the gov-mint wants to deport her after she delivers a class speech about identifying and understanding, but not necessarily supporting, the motives behind the 9/11 hijackers’ actions. That coulda been a mos solid movie on its own right (and wrong), but instead the story getz mostly lost amongst all the Crashing and Babeling Traffic noise

Poster Child Molester: tell Harrison’s eyes to stop scaring us. and can someone tell casting directors to stop hiring Ray Liotta

Verdictgo: Very Little Merit But No Stikin Badges

Crossing Over opens in select theaters today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

we will watch the Watchmen
and you will too
and we will watch this Watchwoman, Silk Spectre II
without the use of a watch
but maybe with the use of Jergens®

we think we’re in love

hear’s hope’n that March 6th will add another notch on the short NSFW belt of Malina Akerman