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Mail Chavinism

Twats the bestest word that’s been a part of the English vernacular since the ’04, but hasn’t been uddered much at all on our dirty Christian shores? Chav. So what the goldenfiddlestix is a ‘chav’? ‘cordin to the omniscient Wikipedia, ‘chav’ refers to a subcultural stereotype of a person with fashions such as flashy ‘bling’ jewellery and counterfeit designer clothes such as Burberry / Burkley or sportswear, an uneducated, uncultured, impoverished background, a tendency to congregate around places such as fast-food outlets, bus stops, or other shopping areas, and a culture of antisocial behaviour.

In America, these kinda people would be a crossbreed of white trash and, the still whore-able-lee monikered, wiggers. Spankfully mos of the chavs hail from the old country, which automatically makes them more cooler than William H Macy givin Coolio an HJ with ice cubes, although some Americans have been given the label, such as Britney, Christina, and 50 Cent.

So why on earth am I brining up this whole chav crap? Cause if I could be one man and bang one woman from the Queen’s realm, I’d be Mike Skinner of the Streets and I’d do Jennifer Ellison of the big tits. And both of thems are textbook eggzamples of all things chav


Additional ‘chav’ shazz…

ChavScum.co.uk

ChavWorld.co.uk

Famous chavs

Prince William chavs it up

What’s your chav rating?

Not satisified wit the above def of ‘chav’? Try 350 more at Urban Dic

British buzzwords, from 1904 to 2004

‘Fit But You Know It (Alternate Version)’ by the Streets wit Kano, Tinchy Stryder, Don’eo (of So Solid Crew) and Lady Sovereign [d via More Milky Way]


Slightly speaking of Lady Sovereign, she’s chav-tastic to the bone and kicks major glass and major payne. She’ll be at Coachella, Lolla, and fittingly, but don’t you know it, opening for the Streets this summer roberts. What this lil grimester sound like? Peep her myspace space or rock her ‘Hoodie’ [d] or its Mizz Beats remix [d]

You are now exiting chav-land…


Last week we praised Lily Allen for having the world’s greatestist myspace background, but had no idea of two things: one, she’s Keith Allen‘s daughter, and two, her music also kicks major glass, in a softer Lady Sovereignish kinda way. Think Feist, but not as coma enducing. You can hear some of her sweet trax on the space of my or go with the only ones I could find for yer d-ing pleasure, ‘Smile’ [d] & this FAB 50 minute mix thingie featuring her shiz + random shazzle like Dizzie Rascal, Rod Stewart, and some yodeling stossel [d]

Oh LORD ALMATY!!! The Prez of Kazakhstan’s daughter defends Borat!?!?! + Best of Borat vid

Norman Chad wins $300 bux for takin top prize in the 54th US Bowler Writing Competition, Editorial divish. That’s 240 times Shirley can pay the man

David Zucker’s spoof glossary

Fuck the cows and all that other shit. Here comes the terrapins [Brawny Boy]

MisShapes, TV’s Cheers stizz. Women, can’t live with em, pass the beer nuts [Ms Mod]

Average Homeboy! + more on the homeboy himself [Newbs]

Beavis & B tackle Blur’s ‘Parklife’ [My Man Marvkus]

Blessed be Page 3 and Danni, who be straight outta Coventry [NSFW]

Donald Duck: The Spirit Of 1943

Cinemorgue

davidbowieisverydisappointedinyou.com [P-bitch]

Be honest, which one of ewes was searchin for ‘joan cusack nude pics only‘? [see #20]

And I’ve had mo problems than Artie Bucco tryin find that Wes Anderson Amex ad online, so in the meantime…


We found it. Wes Anderson = everything that is good on this earth

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Dude, Gnarls Barkley

Comes to town May 22nd @ Webster Hall
Tix on sale next Wed TUES @ noon [Vegan]


• Stream the album on myspace
• Peep em on BBC Top of the Poops, again
• Peep the 30 sec clip of the new ‘Crazy’ Slices Video on BoobTube
• And d-lode my flavorite Gnarly song of the weak, ‘Smiley Faces’ [d]

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Leopold Bloomin’ Grunions


GO WIZARDS!!!

Yeah write, the NBA can lick my grundle juice thru a funnel in the Holland Tunnel of Mother Love Skinny Bone Star Davey Jones’ Locker

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& On The 8th DayHe Created Peabs

Shmears n’ queers and b-day cheers to the most gifted writer the world has seen since Richard Scarry

Flobvs!

Bozzle!!

Jim Fassel!!

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Much Ado About Nazis

Hows comes wees never heard of Scontri stellari oltre la terza dimensione aka Star Crash aka the wurstest spicy Italian Star Wars rip-off to star both David Hasselhoff AND Christopher Plummer? Roll the ugliness


[Monks Help]

And hows comes wees never knew Squid daddy Noah Baumbach gets to ask Jennifer Jason Leigh who’s yer daddy? every night?

And hows comes we have yet to see one Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous movie this year?

Good thing I didn’t ask Mr Owl any of these questions. He woulda bit my cock off as if his name was Whobitzor Cockoff

While we’ve lost all respek for Sacha Baron Cohen, we’d like to re-lose our virginity to his un-kosher, but much kosher wifey Isla Fishy

He hates these cans, but how could he hate he 59th Festival de Cannes wit a lineup like dis?!

When Kermit met the Encyclopedia Britannica kid

The In a world‘ guy stops by our world, the MotMI, tonight [Not Marvcus Garvey]

Bestest Brazilian mp3 site u haven’t been hittin up: Musecology

Bestest Brazilian wax you wish you could be hittin up: not any of these three NSFW hello nasties

He blinded me with blogging

I want to make love to Lily Allen’s myspace background. Ver-dick’s still out on wether or snot I want to make love to Lily Allen. Wait, who fuck is Lily Allen?

Who’s got mo buzz than Buzz Aldrin? Ezra Buzzington

The Streets + Blur = Streetlife [d vis Pure A Ton]

Taco Town comes alive like Frampton [Super Thighs Me]

Frank Kozikcize yer kid

NASCAR meats

Top 15 Strangest Coincidences [Chow Down Moses]

Fore-edge Painting

Pink is the new creepy [vid via Menyinc]

Pimp My Snack

House of Beer Cars [Data Processor]

Farts can cause fires + some facts about fart

Japanese love balls

Wa?

The Spirit of Truth

and happy 4/20, to everyone, cept Hitler, who was born on this day. And in your dishonor, here’s some melon del water you fucking anti-semite prick daddy…


and yes, that’s Gallagher, of Gallagher fame

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