What Did I Learn?
03. May, 2004 
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Being in control of Mike’s blog has sure taught me a few things:
– Keeping a professional looking blog takes a lot of work! A lot of work that I am not willing to do.
– Because it takes so much work, perhaps Mike really does need to cock blog me on occasion. After all, the New York Times does not stop the presses just because I want to snuggle. They should, but they don’t.
– I am not angry enough at Mike to put his sausages in my bum. I still put them up there, but I only did it because it felt so right.
– Sausages feel great in your bum!
– When you buy Mike replacement sausages, remember that his other sausages were “Sweet” Italians, and not “Spicy” Italians.
– Do not put Mike’s replacement sausages in your bum, unless you followed the above lesson. I did not, and therefore I am in severe severe pain.
– Live as if it is your last day, love as if it is your first time, dance as if there is nobody watching.
– DANCE DANCE DANCE!
– Make sure nobody is watching when you dance.
– If you plan to sell used sausages on eBay, be prepared to receive strange correspondence from perverts.
– Do not agree to meet in a bathroom in Chelsea any of the people who corresponded with you about your bum sausages.
– There are no dumb questions, only dumb questioners.
– Jesus is the way, the light, the lord of all things.
– Actually, maybe Allah is better.
– No, sticking with Jesus.
– I am not afraid to cry in front of my boss.
– Don’t put cockroaches on your cock. It is false advertising.
– Mike is a racist.
– I have no “spine”.
– Bleep.
– Bep.
– Peace out dizzle snizzle!
