Fauxtal Recan’t
06. Aug, 2012 
0 Comments
Total Recall
Pissing On Paul Verhoeven’s Non-Existent Grave
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 118 min
Not awful, but pure blasphemy.  3 tits, ‘2 weeks’, & 1 giant waste of everything.  Jessica Biel’s annoying face needs to be recalled, same with Bryan Cranston’s wig, same with that scowl Kate Bake-sale oversells every 8 seconds.  Colin Farrell was actually pretty good & the production design was kinda OK, but who cares when there’s a Total Recall that already exists and is THE FCUKING SH!T!!!!!!!!  Consider this a divorce from mine eyes and any remakes going forward (superhero start-overs don’t count)
Recall Recall: I-Mockery’s Ten Best Things About [the original] Total Recall, with rawesome gifs
Verdictgo: if it was called something else, like Dark Bushy Eyebrows In Space, it wouldn’t be as lame as it is, so Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
Total Recall is a total waste of your time at a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
