Thighs Wide Shut

This kid must be the modern day Nostradamus, cause Product Ye Olde Shoppe NYC’s Coachella prophecy has come true. Fudgegetabout Wilco’s migraines and Thom’s throat, BECK has been added to SATURDAY’S LINE-UP! So have Kool Keith and MF Doom!! And Hybrid was added to Sunday’s line-up!!! and !!! is pronounced by any three repetitive sounds, like chic-chic-chic, or pow-pow-pow, or even uh-uh-uh!!!! Below is the line-up sans times and sans serif. Click here for the complete Coachella map.

Meet me at the Churros stand.

2 p.m. sharp.

Researchers asked 1,000 Brits what thangs make them British. High on the list were Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, fish and chips, The Queen, The Beatles, and drinking tea… obvs. Here are some that didn’t make the list:

George LazenWHO??

– bad teeth

– their love of snooker and woman’s curling

This wax figure would give Stephen King nightmares

– Wanna buy an entire country music wax museum? Link from Zach de la Roachclip.

– Queen of nepotism, Tori Smelling, will be strutting her comedic stuff this fall on UPN’s new comedy Me, Me, Me. I’ve been patiently waiting for this day ever since her brilliant work as Screech’s sweetheart, Violet Bickerstaff, on Saved By The Bell.

– McDonald’s CEO croaks. This is what happens when you get free hash browns every dang morning. Link from Flea.

– Apprentice runner-up, Kwame “Sorry Ms” Jackson, isn’t going home a loser. Firstly, he never has to look at the Donald’s hair again. Secondly, he already has a job lined-up thru Dallas Maverick maverick, Mark Cuban. And lastly, KFC wants em to be the spokesman for their oven-roasted chicken line. I wonder what Omarosa’s next move is. She needs a job where she can’t screw anything up. Suggestions: toll-both operator, hand model, or Philly Phanatic.

– Here’s Blender magazine’s top 10 worstest songs of all time:

1. We Built This City – Jefferson Starship

2. Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus

3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight – Wang Chung

4. Rollin’ – Limpbizkit

5. Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice

6. The Heart of Rock & Roll – Huey Lewis & The News

7. Don’t Worry, Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin

8. Party All the Time – Eddie Murphy

9. American Life – Madonna

10. Ebony and Ivory– Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder

That may not be the worst song ever, but Jefferson Starship, Chewbacca and Bea Arthur were apart of the worst George Lucas-related thang ever, The Star Wars Holiday Special. Do they celebrate Kwanza on Tatooine?

Bea Arthur and Greedo were part-time lovers

Its too early in the morning to come up with something clever, so instead, check out Da Museum of Hoaxes, which has sum nifty stuff on the origin of April Fool’s Day and the Top 100 AFD Hoaxes of All Time!!

I love tunafish!!!

April Fools!!