Thighs Wide Shut

Yep, Wimpy’s wet dream cum tru: the In ‘n’ Out 100×100 Burger [via Thinkerville]

Streaking of, me bee leaves Popeye is the only known comic strip to begat TWO fast food dump holes: Popeyes (snatchurally) & Wimpy. (three if you include this Boston Cantina named after Ms Oyl)

Peace the ford escort out to 60 Minutes & on-screen graphics pioneer Arthur Bloom, and to the band whom I thought would own the 00s, but never lived up to their thumcrdible potentialble, like Lunchables, after the release of the opus The Sophtware Slump, Grandaddy. A moment of silence, followed by listenage to G-dad’s ‘AM 180’ [decaf or live, via GVB], which for some reason always puts me in mood to ransack a grocery store with huggdorable British black chicks twenty-eight days after stuff happens!!

And war the spoon in to solo side projects by The REAL FF’s Matt Friedberger!! Not that I don’t love sistah Fried, but me hath always desired to hear more of yer voice, and since Eleanor can only sing, and put her boots back on [d-lode via AVC vs AVP], I didn’t think this desire would have hathed!!

Gorillaz live in concert, or whatever you call it (hopefully I’ll see it at Coachella)

Got a 11-14 yr-ld boy or a 10-12 yr-ld girl with dreams of becoming Noah Baumbach’s next Chicken or Pickle? Crick here for casting call infos for Mr Squid/Whale‘s next spliff

Her Future Royal Thighness, Camilla Belle, wants to hear from you, AOL-IM: Jill020306 | phone numba: 1-877-467-7674… juss don’t tell her that she smells like poo

How did Rick Moranis’ country career slide thru the eyes and ears of the Thighs Spies and their spears?

Stranger Than Fiction?

Math that would make a TI-81 hexplode into two, aka two TI-40.5s:

Anderson Cooper + Richard Kind = Bill Kristol
1, 2, 3, Look at Mr Lee. 3, 4, 5, Oscar night, look for his hand to jive! Maybe now his Hulk will get the ‘spect it deserves (sands 10 min finale with Notle as Electro-Pointless-Man)

‘Mr Lee’ by The Bobbettes [d-lode via Punio]

And its sequel (WHAT?) ‘I Shot Mr Lee’ by The Bobbettes [d-lode on JSpence]

Together at last, hispecially for you idjiots who had no idea that the two were related: Citizen Kane & the Stripes homage ‘The Union Forever’

Remember the Alamo, and Corgan on ECW

Look out Nuclear Bob, cause yer reign as overweight facial hair guy with the killer tees may be over: Bruce Vilanch T-Shirt Watch

Apple’s home pages along the years [via Modern Rager Against the Coke Machine]…

and still, their finest achievement is not the iPod, but the Lemonade Stand game [which u can find 4 d-lode here]

and while were taking a bite into/out of the dumbestist computer brand that isn’t a Wang, and who has only sir-vived today cause of those iPod things (I mean, they JUSS figured out the whole right mouse button bestness), here the ad that’s more IN-famous than El Guapo [aud], the 1984 Ridley Scottiefied Macintosh Super Bowl commercial

Redskins fans… being Redskins fans [vid via Gulf on Sonkin]

Janet Reno rox out, and so does lil Doorbeller [vids via JJ Muldoon’s/Mod Squad, again]

What’s so great about the Dewey Decimal System?

‘The Godamned Dutch’, one of the two mos popular songs sung at IU (?), as sung by John Frushour [wtf via Newcomeallovermyface]

Tis be so awful that I shouldn’t even dignify it with a linky poo, (dave) butttttz: Lazy Monday [vid via Lohanjealous]

Sometimes love of hate is better than hate of love: $225 for an XFL He Hate Me Jersey

Widow of Death In Benihana Shrimp Toss Faults Restaurant [via Brawny Man]

Splinter was a man, and Mrs Peacock too? WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!!! [2nd one an aud]

And although the love below is usually reserved for bouncy babes from here and abroad (oh lord, how i love dem broads!), doing tres hot things like getting licked by another woman, like Ms Pinder (appy polly lodges for the kinda sorta NSFW)

Today I would like to dedicate and entrusting all my usual pent-up en-thrusting behind the single white female greatestiest video logo to ever come from 1978, the WGBH one. You know which one I speak of, right? Its gots that noise thing that goes brudaddadoodadoo dad dooo dododdevvabvjfwssa!! Na? Well, if you’ve ever seen anything on PBS thats either boring, or boring, or both than you’ve heard that duhvavavdoo doouvavddooo noise thing!!! If not, here’s a snap of it, a link to the vid, and the aud file for your mp3/mash-upping pleasure (maybe mixed with Pat O’Brien, Rosie O’Donnell, and Howard Dean in an aural threesome to end all threesomes and things aural). Free tote bags for some, minature American flags for all!!

[vid | aud]
Right? duooouvdvadvav dobbiedadeovraad doom!

Blessed be the people who use twelve sided dice…

+ I’m holding out for the longer, un-cut version of Colin Farrell in The Nude World [NSFW]

+ Test BEST footage from the upcoming Transformers flick? Now the only thing I’m worried about is dem recreating THAT sound [via Pakula Shaker]

+ I’d almost rather see Gerry II released

+ FF’s to tour!! Hopefully Grandma will be left behind again [via BV]

+ With simian ricer Ian Brown and the Gorillaz both up for Brits, I figured the Banana Splits were a shoo in for the ‘Outstanding Contribution To Music’ award

+ I think it’s safe to say that Parker Lewis lost

+ Can someone be literally scared to death?

+ Remember Airline Bags? They be my Cliff Engle sweaters for the ’06. eBay (and coco) BEWARE!!

+ Tyson’s Punch-Out COMES ALIVE!! [via DV]

+ Free 411 [via Mess]

+ Search Flickr by drwing

+ Мокрые и пьяные вечеринки (Russian for NSFW)

+ O rly?

+ And when I see this snapple from Jen El’s calendar below, like Jacky White sez, I juss don’t know what to do with myself…

OH SNAP!

CRAPPLE
& SUX
Y?

Well how else could one describe the
double-donged peace the fork outting of

Fred The Baker

who when asked if he had a favorite donut flavor, responded:
‘They’re all my children – I love them equally.‘

AND

That Guy
From Those Movies!!

who totally wanted to bang Beth

btw, even though Fred died in 1916, D Donuts are still a bunch of corporate fargin iceholes for making zero mention of Fred’s passing on their site. I pray the same wasn’t true with Wendy’s when Shia Where’s The LaBeuof’s nana Clara Peller chocked on the newly invented Frosty

Further reading: Where Are They Now? Fred The Donut Guy

• What do JK Rowling in Dough, the Gorillaz, and the Prius all have in common? The ghost of Henson present loves em all!!

• You know this world blows when Cody Lohan is hottier than her slag of a sistah

• Wondering what to get yer straight edge pal this Hanukkah? How bout the 10 more shows that juss became available in the Fugazi Live CD Series

• I guess we don’t need to ask Jeeves where Señor got the name for his Amblin Entertainment co

• WBFF-45, where BFFs all get together and watch poopy programs

• TWS.org, yer #4 result when intersleuthing for ‘uninstall photoshop’… are the nia peoples trying to tell me sum-tang?

• The 50 Greatest Gadgets of the Past 50 Years [via UMC]

• TSG’s Top 15 Mugshots of the Year

• Celebs in Panto + Craziest Quotes Of 2005

• No chaser needed with THIS SHOT [vid via Joe E Tar Tar Heel]

• The Belly videos

• The Beerbelly

• Yer muss click of the day: Jacko’s Moonwalker & The 8-Bit Posse vs the Muscle Man In Space CRAZYnessness!! [via Retrobestness]

• And although I am true to my bug bite boobed queen, KK the V, by sticking my tab into her slot every 10 minutes, while drinking Tab and playing the nickel slots, I can’t help but being rung by a Belle for the 1st time since Albert came to Baltimore

Twats sure to be le breastest movie (at least remake) of the ’06?

Camilla Belle vs Water: THE MOVIE
aka, When A Stranger Calls, which finally gots itself a trailer! Note to Sony Pictures: send me an advanced DVD copy so I can have great spank material for January, aka Crime Stoppers Month!

• Belated, but never too late to fork the peace of O’s ho Elrod Hendricks. I remember when I was a lil boy and actually cared about boring things like baseball, I forced my rents into taking me to the annual O’s fan picnic. I was hoping Cal Ripken and his fuckface brother were going to be there, but instead we got bunk-ass journey man Kevin Hickey and Elrod. I was crushed, but gettin their autographs made up for it… considering that Elrod’s mussa skyrocketed since his death from 3 cents to 6!!!

• Cuthbest to return to 24 this year? Only if you trust the werds of one Joanne Weintraub

• Peep the teaser trailer to Mel Gibson’s Mayan mess Apocalypto… 3 to 1 he somehow he blames the Jews for their extinction

• A year later and the good people of Roanoke, VA still aren’t sure if it was Borat who turned their rodeo into a almost stampede… guess dem Red States aren’t big subscribers of HBO

• Gorillaz up for MTV’s Cribs

• 18 zillion people sent me this link, so I guess I should post it: The Chappelle Theory

• Justin Case you missed it on yer internets rounds: He-Man/She-Ra: A Christmas Special

• So I guess I shouldn’t count on potato latkes in the Kingdom this year, eh luv the V?

• What do you plan to do with yer extra 2005 second? I can’t decide between patting myself on the back or patting my balls

• Rotten Tomatoes’ ’05 Bombs List… boviously House of Wax and Domino wouldn’ta been considered bombs had they taken in account the only reviews that matter: OURS!!

• The True Cadillac™ of Bicycles

• wayfaring.com

• Frynally, someone else’s boobies have replaced Tara Reid’s judge hatchet job as les nastiest bazongies in the world [double duhvs NSFWness]

• Lookin for a bigger effin miracle than the sorta special holiday of Chahhannuaakakkakkah? How bout dem Skins who are the NFC’s HOTTiest team, who juss avenged the live abortion I saw in late Rocktober, and who now be mere baby steps away from the pay-offs? So start hittin up Orbitz for early Feb flights to the D, fill yer thIghpod up wit the sweet reggae sounds of The Joe Gibbs Family in the back [via the Dollar], and wipe the dust of yer bumpers, cause I wanna see these babies everywhere!!!

and, yeah, uh, after many a moons of semi-funemployment, I’m happy to report, I is fully employed 1nce again. I hope working under Milhouse’s dad at the cracker factory turns out to be more fun then it sounds

Kids, I’ll admit it, yer much celebrated, beloveded, and impossibly beautiful Thigh Mizzletoe aint no authority when it comes to music (I’ll leave that bidness to the Gum, the Veg, the Shoppe, and all the hot em pee tres blizzles listed in the Lynx section). I’m probably the only blogger on planet Xhsfbxgfvsnej who has never even heard ONE note of Sufjan Stevens’ Illinois. I’d rather bang chicks than be Lester Bangs. Instead of rockin a thIghpod, I live in an Oculas pod! Anywho, I would call my list ‘Les Breastest Albums of The Year’, but what the fork do I really know, I’m a movie guy who loves guys who won’t quit hugging denim in closets. And thus, I giveth to you…

Les Breastest Albums
of 2005
To Hug Denim In Closets To

(Wish I Knew How To Quit You Edition)

1) t.A.T.u. – Dangerous & Moving

2) Gorillaz – Demon Days
3) The White Strpes – Get Behind Me Satan

4) Moby – Hotel
5) Kasabian – Kasabian

6) The Bees – Free The Bees¹
7) Various – The Squid & The Whale Soundtrack
8) Danger Doom – The Mouse and the Mask

9) Kaiser Chiefs – Unemployment
10) Royksopp – The Understanding
11) Supergrass – Road to Rouen

12) Annie – Anniemal¹
13) The Fiery Furnaces – EP
14) Fischerspooner – Odyessy

Dishonorable Mentions:
LCD Soundsystem &
The FF’s Rehearsing My Choir

Concerts That Were More
Procerts Than Concerts
Duran Squared @ MSG – Apr 13
Beck @ The Hiro Ballroom – Apr 15
Moby @ Webster Hall – Apr 20
Keane @ RCMH – Jun 7
Junior Senior @ Mercury Lounge – Jun 23
Royksopp + Annie @ Webster Hall – Sept 21

Tuneses For Toonces

Get yer right mouse button flizzin on, YO!!

Annie – ‘Me Plus One’ [d-lode]
Archdukes – ‘Eleanor Put Your Boots On’ [d-lode]
‘Awesome Gawd’ [d-lode]
Basement Jaxx – ‘Oh My Gosh’ [d-lode]
Beck – ‘Girl’ [d-lode]
Bloc Party – ‘Banquet’ [d-lode]
Bloc Party vs The Streets – ‘Banquet’ (Remix) [d-lode]
Blursabian – ‘Thers’s No LSF’ [d-lode]
Bravery – ‘Fearless’ [d-lode]
BRMC – ‘Aint No Easy Way’ [d-lode]
Charlotte Church – ‘Call My Name’ [vid]
Chemical Brothers wit Tim Burgess – [vid]
Clash Killers – ‘Somebody Rock Me’ [d-lode]
Coldplay – ‘Speed of Sound’ [d-lode]
Coral – ‘Arabian Sand’ [d-lode]
Danger Doom wit Cee-Lo – ‘Benzie Box’ [d-lode]
Dean Wareham – ‘Hey You’ [d-lode]
Fiery Furnaces – ‘Single Again’ [d-lode]
Fischerspooner – ‘Cloud’ [couldn’t find, so d-lode ‘Never Win’ instead]
Gay Cowboy Theme Song [d-lode]
Gay Cowboy Theme Song Remix [d-lode]
Gorillaz – ‘Dare’ [d-lode]
Gorillaz – ‘Feel Good Inc’ [d-lode]
Junior Senior avec B-52’s lizadies – ‘Take My Time’ [d-lode]
Kaiser Chiefs – “Everyday I Love You Less & Less’ [d-lode, or give MIA’s go a go]
Kayne West + Ray – ‘Gold Digger’ [d-lode]
Kelly Clarkson – ‘Since U Been Gone’ [d-lode]
Ladytron – ‘Destory Everything You Touch’ [d-lode]
Madonna – ‘Hung Up’ [d-lode]
Moby – ‘Lift Me Up’ [d-lode]
Moby – ‘Raining Again’ [d-lode]
Oasis – ‘Lyla’ [d-lode]
Parnell/Samberg – ‘Lazy Sunday’ [d-lode OR vid]
Phantom Planet – ‘California 2005’ [d-lode]
Royksopp – ‘Only This Moment’ [d-lode]
Supergrass – ‘St Petersburg’ [video]
t.A.T.u. – The ENTIRE Album [d-lode]
Ted Leo – ‘Since U Been Gone’ [d-lode]
Tom Wellington & Thigh Masta – ‘Pat O’Brien Super Mega Mix’ [d-lode]
TVGasm – ‘Pat O’Brien vs Rosie O’Donnell’ (Acappella) [d-lode]
White Stripes – ‘Blue Orchid’ [d-lode]
Wyrd Sisters – ‘This Is The Night’ [d-lode]

And although I juss heard it today, why not tro this Party Ben shaz on the yule thyme blog:

White Stripes vs. Eric B & Rakim – ‘Pump Up the Doorbell’ [d-lode]

DON’T forget to czech republic out our picks for 2004 and 2003!

¹dem shiz were released in Europe in the ’04, but didn’t hit our shores til the ’05. Euro Trasholes!!