Thighs Wide Shut

Why would Gold Bond bang these lizadies

when he can hit this shit up back at MI6 HQ?

Look at the brightside, maybe this will open more doors and the thighs of Lara Logan

Lohag Would Go Topless for Oscar. Too bad the same init true for the Portwoman. But then again, unlike Her Former Royal Thighness the I, Natty Lite-weight doesn’t dig on grouchy garbage men. But then again, she did dress like an elephant for Elmo. No word on if she tickled it, or not, or tickles in general, with anything French, or not

Ricky Gervais looks back (not in anger) on his Seona Dancing days, vid stiz

Will the Gorillaz tour DC’s virtual stadium?

Everyone’s mos flavorite French reporter Melissa Theuriau, sans habillement [that’s Au Bon Pain for NSFW par MoodyHotties]

Luther Vandross doesn’t live, but his sangwich does

stripper_polaroids’ stripper polaroids [par Pee See Randle El]

Which Came First… besides me on May 1st

Who knew the Fruit of the Loom guys branched out into furniture design?

I always wanted to know what ‘Thighs Wide Shut’ sounded like

Top 10 Strangest Lego Creations

Anyone out theres knows where I can get these elf shoes I used to rock in HS, in size 10, 10.5, or heleven? If you do, I’ll even fuck your mother!

Free Hooters

VIDEO of Michael Larson, Whammy enemy #1

Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs

And, Nancy O’Brills, O’ how I O in your good O’name and graven image night after night. Stay faptastic, and the only respectable and delectable person on tabloid TV…

BREAKING NEWS:

Fresh off opening the 48th Annual Grammy Awards alongside Madonna and taking home the Pop Collaboration with Vocals award, GORILLAZ will now receive yet another Stateside honor: the U.S. production of the DEMON DAYS LIVE tribute concerts.

Confirmed for April 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 at Harlem’s famed Apollo Theater, DEMON DAYS LIVE will feature the guest musicians from GORILLAZ’ worldwide multi-million-seller Demon Days recreating ‘Feel Good Inc.’, ‘DARE’ and the album’s other classics live onstage.

The previous UK staging of DEMON DAYS LIVE, which took place November 1st through 5th at the Manchester Opera House, sold out instantly and moved SPIN magazine to comment “the group is reinventing the way that artists stage concerts.”

Confirmed guest performers joining Demon Days producer/Gorillaz collaborator Damon Albarn in bringing each and every track to life will include De La Soul, Ike Turner, Bootie Brown of the Pharcyde, Neneh Cherry, Happy Mondays’ Shaun Ryder, UK rapper Roots Manuva, with others to be announced.

Tickets for DEMON DAYS LIVE will go on sale Friday March 10 at 11 a.m. EST through Ticketmaster.

DEMON DAYS LIVE is not to be confused with the unprecedented live holographic tour the Gorillaz team and animation house Passion Pictures are currently producing for 2007-2008. The live Gorillaz shows will be a unique cross between live performance and a theme park experience, with the band fully present onstage, rendered in 3 eye-popping dimensions. Crucially, the show will evolve over the life of the tour, like any live performance, will feature stellar guests from Demon Days, and will ultimately bring the unique visual identity created by Jamie Hewlett to a live audience.

[via BV & PS]

What it gonna sound like? D-lode the stellarly recorded MP3s from one of their Manchester shows and hear fo yo self!!

MUSTARD MAN
FOUND!!!
Syde Nauxte: I first laid eyes on Mean Mr when snerfing Fark’s Photoshop Mike Krzyzewski thingie. Sadly, the picture is no longer there, but the others are jonathan pryce-less, like this one

Life No S’Mores to Harold who played Harold in Kids. A few years back I saw him playing pool at Max Fish and I still felt sorry for him cause none of the chicks in Kids, even the ones with crazy mouth herpes, wanted to kiss him

What’s a Lebowski Fest without Edie McClurg playing the washboard? I dunno, but WE WUZ ROBBED!!

While peeps may be fawning over the choices of a Bond Grrrrl who openly shows her gina [NSFW], I say the major Kudos and Rice Krispies Treats should be reserved for casting Jeffrey Wright as CIA agent Felix Leiter. Here’s hoping he goes under(the)cover(s) with M

May the Gorillaz/Albarn stuff never end… and for those who hate to buy stuff, d-lode like the wind: Gorillaz – Live At Manchester 04/11/2005 (thats 11/4/05 to us idjiots) Recorded for BBC Radio 1

Who wrote the Olympic theme song? JWills, NO DOUBTZZLE [d-lode] Oh, yous like me and don’t care for dat one but the one NBC (and ABC) rocks? It’s called ‘Bugler’s Dream’, and, I guess, is known in wider circles as ‘Olympic Fanfare’ [d-lode]. Morse info herez

Faux lesbians, the bass of Sting, a pointless piano solo, and Batman’s Bat Cave. This can mean only one thing that’s not INVASION: t.A.T.u.’s ‘Friend or Foe’ video. Kinda a let down after the give us us hotness of ‘All About Us’, but hey, friends or fauxs, lezzies or ho’s, don’t make a difference to me, juss as long as the kissing commences!! And while Denmark is taking the heat off of France for being the chief jerkasses of Europe, the frogs are making the breast of the situation by making peace with this spread in their FHM [via tATu Girls]

‘Friend or Foe’ [d-lodes galore]

Mischa Barton’s Sort of Visible Nipples… not odd, considering her brother Falkor doesn’t wear pants

Mohammed Image Archive [via PopTarts]

PILLOW FIGHT!!!

Tom Wolfe’s next book? I Am Hot Jeremy [b-ware the audio via Cielloarmadillo]

Lucky Clovers

Play Monk’s Mind Game, drink at Monk’s in Philly, and send yer kid to Art Monk’s football camp, which I attended in 5th grade

SmokingHotWaitress.com [via Double V and their HOT Radio Waves]

Celebrities as Sports Stars!

100 Best First Lines from Novels

The Rifleman, that aint Chuck Connors/Person

Bleak House icons, but only thru episode 9!! I recommend the smallpoxed #20, cause smallpox is the new munch box!

TMNT Food Stuffs

Jean-Claude Van Damme Made Better

Why drive when you can ride a Fucker

Wienerwhistle

General Carbuncle

The Outhouses of America Tour [via IFOCE King]

The Song Tapper

VPF, his suits, and the things he stands in front of

My hero

and Paiging Mr Erection…

C’est WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!@?!#?%!!#
C’EST MANY-FEECK!!!

how do that work?

& while yer at it, bring me the head of Col Sanders

USA owns Kazakhstan, and in Kazakhstan there is problem, and that problem is transport

Leonard Nimoy digs fat chicks! [NSFW?]

Kaiser Chiefs, Oh My Gawd [d-lode]

Gorillaz, like Cheney, need a gun… YOU GO KIDS!!

Cliff Engle meets the bee girl from the ‘No Rain’ video

Angela who?

YTMD: The Actual Truth About Brian Peppers :(

and for shaz and gaggles, keyboard mustache man

:{
!

[via various georges]

and

GO PRESIDENTS!!!

So hows comes we’ves nevers seens Sarah Jessica Parkers & Mitch from Real Genius in the same bat room, at the same bat time?

You mean joe greene to tell me that telegrams hadn’t already gone the way of funny American sitcoms? And that Falkor’s sister isn’t already a US citizen? Shiz is gonna be a tuff task considering Fantasia is apart of the Axis of Evil.

A Gorillaz/Madonna penta-et (that’s like a duet, but for 5) will open the Grammys with 7 minutes of bang, and then the rest of the show will be 203 minutes of whimper. And why can’t we let Borat [vid] host everything?

Freaking of Borat Sagdiyev, sucks to be the British ambassador to Kazakhstan right about now, hispecially when you have to defend his humoristic merits of British racism to the people being racilisted against

Breastest home video news, until the announcement of the Twin Peaks season 2 discs: two-disc special editions HD DVD AND standard DVD releases Clockwork Orange, The Shining, 2001: Space Odyssey and an UN CUT VERSION of Eyes Wide Shut will be released later this year. Dats the news Ebert‘s been waiting ages for, for he’s been love jonezin for that lost ark of beatoff matz [source]

Jodie Sweetin a Meth addict? I guess someone had to buy Tical 2000 : Judgement Day [via Syntacular]

Reservations. Candlelight. Table Side Service. Valentine’s Day. White Castle?!?!!? Mankind has just jumped the shark… and I’ll see there! [via BRAWNY IFOCE FUTURE SUPER CHAMPION MAN]

You my friend, is no Alfred Hitchcock, and you my Malkovich aint no Kubrick, and Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.

Lindsay Lohan’s Lost Diary, is nothing but 347299553 pages about her being coo-coo for my huge-huge co-cock. Lettuce hope it does see the light of day, but not starring Michael J Fox or Joan Jett [via Navi the Elbirret]

Belated conflatulations to the mother of my children for her Outstanding Choreography nomination for work on a local ghetro production of Kiss of the Spider Woman [source]

MoMA’s gonna be a SCREAM come late Feb when there’s MUNCH to do about nothing

Gnarls Barkley

The commercial is still MIA, but Jhoon Rhee still fights for right. And for all the lizadies out there, this stud’s for you

[via SkunkI via the Dollar]
DAVE KRIEG RULES… in the fumbles department!! Ah, to be a Bears fan in ’96, when DK was kickin it and fumble apprentice Rashaan Salaam was his RB

AAAAAAAAaaa rrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnhhhh, HHHurrRRRRRRRRnhhhh. UUUHHHGGG-rrrr! UUUHHHGGG-rrrrRRR! UUUHHHGGG-rrrrRRR! HHHurrRRRRRRRRnhhhh. AAAAAAAAaaa rrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnhhhh!

I’m an XL and my addy is:

Thigh Master
c/o Amblin Entertainment
123 Anywhere St
Thighland, Thailand Killah Hills 10304

Somesbody please take a thing and get Sean Paul’s ‘We Be Burnin’ [d-lode] straight outta my head and into my car a jar

Cool is having you sitting on my face

Awesome is when your TV sister is giving me a mustache ride… in 3+ years time

Something not to poop on: Triumph The Insult Comic Moonlighting As TV Weatherman In Hawaii

Is the saying “Beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer, never fear” physiologically accurate?

Fender to Kitty, ‘Hello!’

Wolf Howl Animal Peserve’s Wolf T Shirt Long Sleeve [via Kruisemanko]

IFILM’s Viral Video’s Best of 2005’s

Thighs wide Shut

I guess I can scratch this one off for Hot Cross Buns Friday: 57 Hines Ward

Bad Candy AND Bad-Candy AND Bad Video Game Covers [via Tededore | Data Que?]

And I’ve got my mind set on [aud] replacing Coyle (the soon to be William Henry Harrison of her Her Royal Thighnesses)

But I’ve also got my mind on the Shroud of Torino Winter Olympiad, where I predict that

Michael Essany
&
Meathead’s
cousin
Jan Michaelis

is an 8pt favorite
to becoming the
2nd becoming of
Simon Ammann
Swiss Ski Jumper Hero of Swissland
(but not to be confused with Swaziland)
of the Salt Lake Games
who had the single grate-ist
celebration
of
balls
time

YA GOLD!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
!!!

[watch the vid
2mins 40secs in
for all that jazz]

PEE ES – this FRIDAY at 11:59 PM IS THE HAPSOLUTELYE FINAL DAY TO SEND IN SUBMISSIONS for the Cornme in History Photochop super contest!!! Monday all entries (all 7 of them) will be posted and you will vote for who is supreme over-underlord, to me, Supreme Adobe Photoshop Commanding Vice Lord General Madine! Here’s an eggsample that I masterfullofitly did for you to choke on my genus bitches!!

go gettum gumshoes!!

and THIS JUST IN
although a day late
[via Metz]

o’ Nancy, u are so O’Best, so O’Brills, so Oh-some!!
O’y vey is the old new O-tay?

Coachella or
Bonnaroo or
Palooza
or Vans Warped Tour?
Hmmmmmmmm…