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Thighs Wide Movies 2004

17. Feb, 2005 1 Comment

Top Tenners
But We Go To Heleven

sea it and u'll know twat i'm talkin bout

1) The Sea Inside
2) Hotel Rwanda
3) Million $$$ Baby
4) Closer
5) The Woodsman
6) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
7) Vera Drake
8) Napoleon Dynamite
9) Dig!
10) The Incredibles
11) Mayor of Sunsetstrip

Honorable Mentions: Harry Pots 3, Spidey 2, Ray, Kinsey, Mean Girls, Finding Neverland, Collateral, Valentin

1st Annual Thighs Wide
Movie Awards

They Coulda Been A Contender

peace the fork out big daddy

A Very Long Engagement &
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou

How Is It Possible
That They Were Entertaining?

high on schmaltz and entertainment

The Terminal & I, Robot

The Julia Roberts
Please Stop Acting Award

why do u look so sirprized double V?

Reese Witherspoon &
Vince Vaughn

Best Tween Movie Not Starring
Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff

sleepover, more like careersareover

none

Biggest Tainting/Dicktease
On The Kingdom of Thighland

it was love at first tight

The Girl Next Door

Bestestist Dakota Fanning Movie

the mos bankable star

Man On Fire

Bestestist Movie Featuring
Dakota Fanning’s Lil Sis Elle

phew, i thought once dakota hit puberty, we'd have no more bankable stars

The Door In The Floor

The Samuel L Jackson Award
For Most Overused Actor (tie)

but these guys aint got nuttin on Mace Windex

Don Cheadle & Jude Law,
with 6 movies each

Narliest Soundtrack

The Duke Blue Devils Most Overhyped
Wine Drinking Movie Award

get it, sideways?

Sideways

The Gus van Sant
Most Pretentious/Wurstest Movie
Co-Starring Method Man
of the Year Award

this license plate has more of a plot than the movie

Garden Stale

Most Overlooked Movies of 2004 That Were
In Theaters 8 Seconds Longer Than 8 Seconds

also the amt of time it takes me to spunk all over cuthbert when she walks into a room

We Don’t Live Here Anymore
Dig!
Code 46

The Emma Watson Future-Hotness Award

what's wrong with me?

Emily Browning

Best Movies I Netlixed

any movie with penciled in staches and men wearing hooters outfits are bona fide gold in my book

Zardoz
Ali G Indahouse
THX 1138
Star 80
Harold and Maude
In This World &
Day for Night

Sweetest Napoleon Dynamite Line

he can also chuck beef farther than anyone i know

‘How much you wanna make
a bet I can throw a football
over them mountains?‘
– Uncle Rico

M Night Shamalamadingdong’s
BratWurstest Twist of The Year

what does the 'm' stand for? m-sucks?

conning $114,195,633 out
of the American public

The Death to Smoochy Award
for Worstest Picture
of the Year (tie)

this award may be renamed next year cause of the awfulness that is 'beyond the sea'

Beyond The Sea/Watchable
Van Helsucks
The Stepford Wives &
HellBoo

Movies To Look For in 2005

lick my choda X-Box, this is the real deal!

I, Gyromite
Super-Giraffe: The Movie
4 Fast, 4 Furious
Sky Captain vs The Day After Tomorrow
The Life Auto With Joe Isuzu
Nailing The Girl Next Door In The Floor


Check out what we thought of stuff in 2003 & 2002, pre TWS.org stizz.

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Thighs Wide Music 2004

26. Dec, 2004 0 Comments

Les Breastest Albums

groundbreaking goodness times 7 zillion

the ONLY gay music any straight person should listen towould have been numba 1 had i not gotten so sick of it

of course it would take the beatles to make jay-z listenable to my earsvertigo was a tease, but the rest is pure gold

every air album released will always grace my top tentalking never sounded so gooooder.e.m. doesnt make bad albums... yes, even monster ruleszz!

the real question is why hasnt everyone bought this albumbreaks the mormons arent cool stereotypehate to say i told u so, but this is better than their VVV disc

8 years overdue, but well worth the waitthe future sounds like the past... and thats a good thing!this fire is outta control!

1) The Fiery Furnaces – Blueberry Boat

2) The Hidden Cameras – Mississauga Goddam

3) Franz Ferdinand – Franz Ferdinand

4) Jay-Z/Danger Mouse – The Grey Album

5) U2 – How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb

6) Air – Talkie Walkie

7) The Streets – A Grand Don’t Come for Free

8) R.E.M. – Around The Sun

7) The Zutons – Who Killed The Zutons

8) The Killers – Hot Fuss

10) The Hives – Tyrannosaurus Hives

11) The Prodigy – Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned

12) The Futureheads – The Futureheads

13) The Arcade Fire – Funeral

jack and meg who?

Les Mostest

Disappointing Albums

these boys need to grow upshould have been a picture book called 'Look'

great concept, not so great resultsmajor label, major dissapointment

Les Rockinestist Tunes

That Shook Me

Alls Knights Shlong

gawd only knows how many wet dreams this outfit gave me

– ‘Alpha Beta Gaga’ by Air

– Any Howard Dean ‘Yeagh’ Remix

– ‘Be the Rain’ by Neil Young & Crazy Horse

– ‘C’mon C’mon’ by The Von Bondies

– ‘Cherry Blossom Girl’ by Air

– ‘Common People’ by William Shatner & Joe Jackson

– ‘Drama Queen (That Girl)’ by Lindsay Lohan

– ‘God Only Knows’ by Mandy Moore & Michael Stipe

– ‘Irish Blood, English Heart’ by Morrissey

– ‘Nappies’ by Coldplay

– ‘Our Lips Are Sealed’ by Hilary & Haley Duff

– ‘Pressure Point’ by The Zutons

– ‘Rumors’ by Lindsay Lohan

– ‘Staring At The Sun’ by TV On The Radio

– ‘Throw The Jew Down The Well’ by Borat

– ‘Two-timing Touch & Broken Bones’ by The Hives

– ‘Vertigo’ by U2

– ‘Year of the Rat’ by Badly Drawn Boy

What about 2003?

Click away at our sister site!

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Almost Shameless

06. Jul, 2004 0 Comments

Q: What’s the hottiest commercial on TV right now?

A: The Napoleon Dynamite one featuring your Master o Thighs and his humble opinion of the movie (complete with signature monotone voice).

now i have no chance of ever becoming famous

And here’s the backstory for you late bloomerz.

Btw- I’m too lazy, so Box Office Bidness will return next week!

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I’m A Dynamite Whore

15. Jun, 2004 1 Comment

two of my favorite things: Nap Pole and my Roscoe's tee

Pic courtesy of Chillary G

Not the kind of whore you’d find in Amsterdam’s red-light district, but a movie whore for my main man Napoleon Dynamite. This is and will probably end up being the funniest movie of 2004. My infatuation with this film began with my first peepage of this masterpiece in late April (see my original review here). I ended up seeing it two more times for free.

The last of those was this past Thursday. My posse and some lucky TWS readers were treated to a real treaty treat. The free shwag (I don’t call free stuff ‘swag’) doled out was the mos supreme-o evs! I loaded up on as much Napoleon stickers, Napoleon trading cards, Napoleon chap-sticks, Vote For Pedro buttons, tater tot t-shirts, and even plastic nunchucks, that my pockets could support. As we exited the theater, there were mounds o’ tater tots and box o’ milks laid out for our vittlenessness. It didn’t end there. As we approached the lobby, the f-in MAN himself (in character) was there interviewing people for some MTV promotion. Being a man of no shame, I o’ course approached him and allowed myself to be filmed. I’m Amish and normally wouldn’t let my soul be captured into a life recording box, but everyone has a breaking point, right? I told him that this was my 3rd time seeing his movie and he noted that he’d only seen The Neverending Story that many times in a theater. I asked him if the Rock Biter was his favorite and he claimed that Falcor was. We parted ways, but I knew we’d be BFF (breast friends forever).

Over the weekend, I felt bad that I had seen the movie for free 3 times, so when Levittown, The Thinker, Gomberino, and myself couldn’t agree on a movie to see, I took one for the team and told em we had to see it. So for the record, I’ve now seen Nap Dyna four times, three for free, and in the process me now own 3 different Nap Dyna related t-shirts. I think I’ll take a breather before seeing it again, but I think my personal best of seeing Pulp Fiction 7 times in a theater will remain untouched. So don’t listen to Ebert kids, just go and see Napoleon Dynamite NOW (or whenever it opens in yer backwater town).

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