Thighs Wide Shut

i think their setlist was something like…

something sorta OK Computerish
aprego
aragu
atreyu
16 + 1828993 = 5
constant cosmonaut
something from OK Computer
the moaning
the moaning continues
why do i not want to hear these new songs
i think this is my last radiohead concert
zzzzzzzzz

Public Enemy, Ice-T, and the Thinker himself
B.B. King’s Blues Club & Grill
5/7/05

[snap not from show vis AHH]

I was Wrong.

Thank Hashem for Ice-T!

As me and my man Drew from Idaho approached BB’’s there was a bit of a commotion. As we got closer we saw the Iceberg himself stepping out of his limo surrounded by cameras and mics. Once he was done his crew got out and followed him inside. His crew: About 10 kids who looked like they just raided Ja Rule’s closet. Interesting.

Once they were out of the way we decided to hang outside for a bit and we were truly blessed. Flav and entourage were rolling down 42nd street. No limo. Not even a taxi. My man just rolled up.

And the teenage girls went wild! I’ve never seen anything like it. While us old people have been sleeping, Flav became a superstar of the reality TV set. So for every guy singing ‘911 is a Joke’, there were 15 15-year-old girls screaming and hugging and posing for pictures with Flav.

Amazing.

Now for the show…

As it turns out, all of us in the crowd were part of a little social experiment. What happens when a bunch of NYC prep school kids perform there pathetic raps for a crowd of 500 people who paid $25 to hear a night of very angry music?

Ice rolls out on stage and immediately reminds us that even though he is on TV ‘I’m still Ice MUTHAFUCKIN T!‘

Then he moves on to perform 3 new songs. NEW SONGS!?!?!??!?! This was part 1 in Ice’s entry into the pathetic hall of fame. After letting us know that he can tell if someone isn’t real because ‘I act, so I know what an actor looks like‘, Ice dropped perhaps his most prophetic verse: ‘if we’d just get rid of this poverty disease, I’d be rappin’ about birds and trees.’

Poetry in motion folks.

Once his sad, sad, 3 song display is over Ice drops the bomb. As it turns out he’s been working on taking Flav’s spot at the top of the reality TV charts. His new show: Ice-T’s Rap School. It seems Ice spent 6 weeks with a group of students from the York Prep School in Manhattan (I think I had a few friends go there… after they got kicked out of my high school… but I digress). Ice taught these kids to rap, break and DJ. And now, 6 weeks later, they were going to perform their act for us.

SAY WHAT?!?!?!?!

This was not going to be good.

Ice let us know that all the families of these kidlets were in the house… we gave them a cheer. Then DJ somthingorother came out and scratched the same beat for 4 minutes. At first we were encouraging, once it kept going, we began to BOOOOOO. But it wasn’t to end there.

Once the DJ got booed off the stage, the YPC (York Prep Crew) rolled out in all their glory. They were worse than a middle school choir. The crowd was supportive though, until the freestyle session.

FREESTYLE SESSION!?!?!?!?

Oh hell no. The kid was unintelligible and looked like some cross between License to Ill Mike D and Corey Feldman. And he must have said something to the people in the front, cause they started to BOOOOOO like the Redskins were in town. And then it happened. The funniest thing I have ever seen.

Ice rushed the stage and grabbed the mic. It was time for us to get a life lesson, Ice MUTHAFUCKIN T style!

‘If they’s kids, or somebody’s mother in the room, yall show some MUTHAFUCKIN respect! Some of you don’t have no MUTHAFUCKIN class! …You can SUCK MY DICK!‘

Man. Sure put me in my place.

Of course the show was not over then. We still got to see PE! Ice brought them on to stage and, introducing Chuck-D to us he said ‘I love this brother like he’s my brother.‘

Nice.

Now I’m going to save you some time and give you the lowdown on PE’s performance from Zach, the king of Wooijip:

‘Before PE took the state, everyone had their fist in the air Malcolm X-style in solidarity of the PE ‘Power to the People’ creed. The show kicked off with ‘Welcome to the Terradome’, to get the crowd amped up. They had a mix of classics and newer songs, intermixed with Chuck D’s political rants and Flavor Flav’s promotion for his VH1 show Flavor of Love. The last song before the encore was ‘Fight the Power’, extended for about 20 minutes in an epic jam. The encore was ‘She Watches Channel Zero’, followed by Flavor Flav playing a drum solo and then all the other musicians having their chance at soloing (including ‘Purple Haze’ by the guitarist). Flava then took his turn on the bass guitar. He also tried some crowd surfing ( I saw him give his chain, cell phone and other blingage to the back-up rapper before diving) and interacted with the crowd a lot (including shaking the hand of yours truly).‘

Some other highlights:

Instead of Terminator X, they had DJ Lord on the tables. Flav still called him Terminator 6 times.

‘Yo Flav, I’m gonna bring some memories to your memory.‘ – Chuck D

During the song ‘Fuck George Bush’ (the chorus was ‘Fuck George Bush, Fuck Dick Cheney‘) Flav says: ‘And that lying mother fucker from Australia… John Howard… Fuck his ass too!‘

‘Jail, lockdown, that’s some fucked up weak shit.‘– Chuck D

Amazing.

Gnarls Barkley
Webster Hall (sucks)
5/22/06

want mo?
+ Music Leg Humper (who I graciously stole the crotch shot from)
+ Vegan (who I graciously stole sum of del links from)
+ Strawberry Poptarded
+ David Byrne hearts the GeeBees
+ snaps
+ vids from the LA Roxy show

Charlatans UK
Webster Hall
May 16th, 2006

I realized that the next concert I went to wasn’t gonna live up to the madness that was the GnR show, but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz to the ^Zdegree??? What the fork gives???? After being bedazzled by them at Coachella ’02, I never thought for a minute that I’d have more fun comparaison shopping for a BeDazzler than be czeching out the Charls live in the ’06. I guess one of the main issues at the not even close to being sold out show was that no one knew the new material, and when they played it, it didn’t sound like something I really wanted to get to know. The follow-up to their über-brills 9/11/01 released Wonderland wasn’t ever made available for the US buying public. And their new jounks, which was juss released, doesn’t even cum glenn close to packing the punch of W-land, or Glass Joe for that splatter. And what kinda concert headliner doesn’t sell shirts at their own shows? That shoulda been an omen right then and there to leave, although I did hold out long enuff to hear ‘The Only One I Know’. To sum-up, Boooooooo-oring!!! So boournish, that me and Megbot started playing dots for 1/2 hour. I wish I was joking, or Joe King, but I isn’t. You can play dots online or print out the image below. It’ll be the mos fun you’ll have until you hear about what I did to your mother last nite!

Guns N’ Roses
Hammerstein Ballroom
May 15th, 2006

In today’s world where Queen, INXS, the Cars, and the Doors tour without their centerpiece vocalists, it’s quite welcoming to see a band tour with the opposite DNA, aka, its original singer in tact, sans the supporting playas. Don’t spank me wrong, I love Slash and Duff McKegs like it was nobody’s bidness (it isn’t your bidness), but would I ever care to see a Velvet Revolver show juss cause they is members? Like Mr Poon and sugar in the same room, no never, never! And thus, whatever the cosmetics of Guns N Roses is today doesn’t make one bit o honey or difference to mes as shlong as Axl W Rose is involved (think our generation’s kinda sorta post-Waters Pink Floyd). Last nite, for 2 and 1/2 hiz-ours, I partied like it was 1992, and I rocked more than Iraned and although the faces may have changed, the song effin remained the same. Read: franzforkintastic!!! Bless you AWR (even if you love yerself more than I love myself) and co, who did quite an admirable job filling in the huge empty shoes… although I don’t understand why they didn’t play ‘Don’t Cry’ [d], which is by far, the bestest GNR song in their arsenal asshole. It’s waz almost a bigger let down then when i saw Duran² for the second time and they din’t play ‘Hungry Like The Wolf’. But after all’s said and Warrick Dunn, last nite’s show was probably the best $75 I’ve spent in a long arsed time, besides that 80s Astros jersey thats soon coming to my door. Here’s a rundown of what I got for my two cents (times 3,750):