‘More new piks . . . Less sexual more commercial!‘
– India Reynolds, more commercial, yet still sexual hottt

foto removed

+ this other non-related clothed cutie one

this last one found here [site is full of her NSFW work]

The Princess of Montpensier
(La Princesse de Montpensier)
He Hugs Me, He Hug-uenots!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
Not Rated | 139 min

Sorry that we always compare 16ish Century flicks to The Tudors, but we juss love The Tudors so dang munch, and we juss can’t helps ourselves from comparing things that have no comparison to The Tudors.  Anywho, Bertrand Tavernier‘s long take on Madame de La Fayette‘s short story, La Princesse de Montpensier, is like a French Tudors, but with little to no hotness, aka sex, since any ‘action’ happens off screen!!!  At least they gave us the royal treat of watching some handmaidens bathe Mélanie Thierry‘s rack, as she prepares to have her hymen broken on her wedding nite!  Got yer attention?  It did ours, even though this flick sometimes borders on snoozyTuesdayland

Thierry is the Princess in question, and the dude she’s arranged married to (Grégoire Leprince-Ringuet) is not the dude she loves.  That’s her hubby’s cousin(?), the roguish Duke de Guise (younger Hannibal Gaspard Ulliel).  Throw in their outranking other cousin(?), the slimy Duke d’Anjou (mustache-tastic Raphaël Personnaz), who’s also chasing her tail, and BLAM!, we’ve got a love square sorta goings on!!  Sounds hot, but it’s more chaste then you’d think it would be.  CHASTE-TIZE THAT SHIZ!!!!  But it’s the 5th wheel, the Prince’s pacifist mentor, the Count de Chabannes (Lambert Wilson, who deserves a better American resume than Catwoman and Sahara), truly driving this carriage from start to finish.  He becomes the Princess’ mentor, friend, and in the end, only trusted confidant.  He also seems to be the only person with any values or morales, and thus our most trusted protagonist (the film could of easily been named for him).  Btw, the three suitors are all real historical peoples!

There’s other shaz going on, like a religious war with the Huguenots, and lots of horse riding, and even more horse riding + courtly stuff like playful swordplay and large banquets, AND MORE HORSE RIDING!!  It all adds up to one endless runtime, which might feel a bit unnecessary, and yet there’s never a moment wasted… unless you believe there should be more panties a dropping than men talking about it.  That’s why this aint no Tudors!  Shame, cause her highness in high on hotness!!!

Chaos Thierry: who wouldn’t want to Franc her?

Verdictgo: a mild Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Princess is mostly a crowning achievement in NY this Friday, on demand on April 20th, and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

who THAT girl?

finally some not so stock answers on who the stock photo gal with a backpack and sunny disposition of our dreams be

hidden titties in Disney’s The Rescuers!!! 9REELS!!!

Snopes confirms!

Straight Dope: Do Disney movies contain subliminal erotica? [via Ebert tweety feedy]

The Roommate
Single White Doppelgängers
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Just in case you couldn’t tell, Minka Kelly and Leighton Meester look a lot alike… like totally wicked adorable chicks with bright eyes and similar hotness faces!!!  However, they definitely don’t act alike.  One has chops, and the other should be chopped to bits.  Playing with type, Blair Waldorf has the fun mischievous devil role in The Roommate, while Lyla Garrity is stuck with the boring plain angel role.  Obviously the creepy roommate isn’t going to win out in the end, but in this case/flick, we sure wish she did.  Who wants to root for Minka Garrity?   Even if she’s on-screen loving everyone’s mos flavorite jerky badboy Cam Gigandet… who seems to have co-starred with every single Hollywood 20ish Ms thang of the moment (starting with literally driving Marissa Cooper to her death)

Kill her Blair!  C’mon, do it for us all!  And why’d you have to wait til the end of the movie to try and do it???? Sure, sexually harassing Billy Zane (trying to channel that pompous art teacher from Six Feet Under) was nice and all, but not as nice as you sticking some scissors down Mink’s thrizzzzz, and then taking them scissors, cut off all of her pretty hair and make an oven mitt out of it, or something like that, like that!

So how was the movie?  About what you’d expect it to be.  Needed to be far more scarier, campier, more Minka Garrity gets torturederer, but was still kinda dumb fun.  Best thing about it?  When casting directors need to decide between Leighton and Minka for a future role, they can juss pop this baby in and plead NO CONTEST!!  Blair WalDORF’s the competition!!!

Never 5get: from the Thighs Files…

Verdictgo: Jeepers Sorta Worth A Peepers

Roommate is still bunking it up in theaters, and hits DVD/Blu Ray/streaming land in mid-may

and until the next Blair Waldorf doppelgänger flick co-starring Isabelle Drummond drops…

…the balcony is clothed!