Thighs Wide Shut

after spotting them lovely images of Lindsay Lohandjobz in the Machete trailer, we started to reminiscence, about a much simpler, happier, fruitful time, specifically the grand ole year of 2004.  we were beardless, modern music was way rawesome and every Thom Yorke, Dickie Greenleaf and Leisured Suited Larry hadn’t jumped on the blog bandwagon… yet.  there was no Twitter, thIghpods (well, we didn’t have one) or a baseball team in DC.  also, if you can remember that far back, you might recall that Lindsay Lohan was the foxiest goddess around, and she was OUR goddess, and we the thought the hotness would never end.  boy were we wrong.  they say you shouldn’t dwell on the past, but when the past looked as good as it did, we think it’s OK to do so.  to celebrate America’s former honey bags McGee, and our first ThighMistress, lettuce re-drop our moist flavorite photoshoot of her

and while we’re at it
here’s our moist flavorite (side-boob) candid

Lucy Pinder Topless Pictures from Picture [NSFW]

Big Lebowski [porn] Parody Even Better Than Gutterballs [NSFW]

Page 3 Lodge is looking Rosie [NSFW]

Utz: You’re Dead to Utz? [CanMurszz]

Recycled Cassette Tape Portraits [Empire]

X-Entertainment’s Dirty Junk Drawer

List of songs deemed inappropriate by Clear Channel following the September 11, 2001 attacks

+ we’re way behind on our PTFOs, but for now…

Peace The Fork Out

to

Lena Mary Calhoun

‘Not Ben or Jerry’

Horne

1917 – 2010

Iron Man 2
Rust Never Sleeps
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Was Iron Man 1 really that awesomes?  Did we all champion it cause it wasn’t juss another piece of crap released in the summertime?  Maybe we overvalued it cause we had no faith in director Jon Favreau‘s abilities and were simply sirprized that it wasn’t a dud?  Looking back, nothing much comes to mind in the memorable moments department (granite, we only saw it once), but wees all know what made #1 work and why #2 even exists: Robert Downey Jr

Well, RDJr is back in the tin can, and besides Gwyneth Paltrow as the salty Pepper Potts, and the character of Lt. Col. James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes (now played by Don Cheadle), everyone else is new (Scarlett Johansson and her boobs! Paul Bettany and his voice! Garry Shandling and his smirk! Sam Rockwell and his deplorable characters we want to hate, yet end up loving! + Samuel L. Jackson not chewing up the scenery, for once!), but not much else here is new.  And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  Since it is a sequel, some ante of course has been upped, even if it didn’t need to be.  The action is more explody, more metallic, and some of it downright mental (the Monte Carlo scene was way badass!!), but the cluttered CGI action is its weakest link

The film, like Tony Stark, starts off a little too sure of itself, yet when he gets knocked down a few pegs by a delicious enuff, but could have been even more delicious Mickey Rourke, and starts his climb back up again, that’s when Iron Man 2 excels into ellent territory… even if the ending was a tad blase fair

Iron Man 2 is right on par with 1:  Favreau and screenwriter Justin Theroux don’t fail Stan Lee’s creations or their audience, it well exceeded our low expectations, it was dang funny and fun, and we’d be happy to see a third one, even if it is more of the same.  They say if it aint baroque, then don’t fix it!  Actually they don’t, but our AP European teacher used that joke and we’ve used it ever since.  Anywho, asking for anything more would require Christopher Nolan and there’s only so many Christopher Nolans to go round

Iron Butterflies: multiple hottttties abound (and gagged)!!!

Helena Mattsson

Katie Cleary

Anya Monzikova

Verdictgo: probably what we should have awarded #1, Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Iron pumps it up at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Robert Rodriguez’ fake trailer turned real movie Machete has now gotz a real trailer! while that in itself is enuff for muchos celebrationiones, we want to specifically point out something within the trailer that is making our penis sirprizingly point north: the return of Lindsay Lohan’s hotness????  we hear her speak zero lines, we’re sure she’s awful in it, but if these highly saturated pictures are any indication…

…Thighs Wide Shut may once again return as your #1 home for all things Lohag Lohan

The Losers
Boys Just Want to Have Gun
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

THE LOSERS ARE NOT LOSERS!!!!! They are winners!!!!!  Trailer makes one think otherwise, and the cast of fake Javier Bardem, Stringer Bell, annoying pretty white guy and Jason Patric don’ts exactly scream masterpiece, but the results are a crapsterpiece!!!!  There be so many bad action movies with no sense of its own ridiculousnessness, but this one is a good action movie because it embraces its ridiculousnessness!!!  And it has Zoe Saldana shaking her tail feather, and no one would ever say no to that!!!!  And Óscar Jaenada is no one we’ve ever heard of before, but the passion and coolness he injects into his character gives the Dos Equis guy a run for his pesos as the most interesting man in the world!!!!  It’s true!!  Flick reminds us a lot of the dumb fun that was The Rundown, which was directed by Peter Berg, and he wrote the first draft of The Losers (based off the Vertigo comics), with polishing off work by Zodiac scribe James Vanderbilt!!! It was directed by Sylvain White, who first stomped yards with Stomp The Yard, and here he stomps balls with some help by his yard stomper Columbus Short!!!  There are worse ways to waste time.  One of them is reading this review instead of seeing The Losers

We Have A Wiener!: we’ve already dedicated enuff TWS space to Zoe S, so here’s some love for one of the few other ladies that (briefly) appear in The Losers… that also happen to have pics up on their imdb profile

Debbie Ann Rivera, whomever the fork she is

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Losers be winning at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…