Thighs Wide Shut

Alas, I was always dreaming the Irish dream: drinking all day and bombing all night, and waking up each and every morning to the smell of Irish Spring and the taste of Lucky Charms. Now I finally get to turn that dream into a reality as I ship off for a qwikie tweakend to the Emerald Isle, avec p’rents. And spank the good lord I is, cause ever since I returned from my study some broads programme in London, back in the ’98, I declared a personal jihad (the new/old ‘personal jesus’) against that nasty-arsed watered-downed American version of Guinness (don’t even bother convincevaughnning me otherwise cause beer in the US and A blows broken snowblowers). I think me mouth may hexplode when I lock sips with that motor oil from its point of origin. They say you can’t go home again, and that if you lived here you’d already be home, and that dirty vaginas often smell like tunafish, but, er, uh, what was I saying? I dunno, have great weekend kids, and here’s some Irish crap for you to fap all over.

The History of St. Patrick’s Day, from the Hitler Channel

Sinéad O’Connor booed at a Bob Dylan tribute concert + her take on Nirvana’s ‘All Apologies’ [d-lode]

Hmmmmmmmmmm, so there are such things as Irish Jews, eh? Too bad the mos famous one of them all was fictional

How to Make Yer Own Leprechaun Hat

X-Ent’s The Quest For Shamrock Shakes!

‘Lucky Clovers‘, from The Ben Stiller Show

‘Jump Around’ – House of Pain [d-lode] or [vid]

Nick Cannon’s ‘Leprechaun Rap’

O’Brien’s Irish Cottage, in Sterling Heights, Michigan

Pat O’Brien

The First & Last thIghrish Film Festival!

Len Bias, the greatest Celtic that never waz [vid 1 | vid 2]

GO GEORGE MASON!!

and

Why would Gold Bond bang these lizadies

Look at the brightside, maybe this will open more doors and the thighs of Lara Logan

Lohag Would Go Topless for Oscar. Too bad the same init true for the Portwoman. But then again, unlike Her Former Royal Thighness the I, Natty Lite-weight doesn’t dig on grouchy garbage men. But then again, she did dress like an elephant for Elmo. No word on if she tickled it, or not, or tickles in general, with anything French, or not

Ricky Gervais looks back (not in anger) on his Seona Dancing days, vid stiz

Will the Gorillaz tour DC’s virtual stadium?

Everyone’s mos flavorite French reporter Melissa Theuriau, sans habillement [that’s Au Bon Pain for NSFW par MoodyHotties]

Luther Vandross doesn’t live, but his sangwich does

stripper_polaroids’ stripper polaroids [par Pee See Randle El]

Which Came First… besides me on May 1st

Who knew the Fruit of the Loom guys branched out into furniture design?

I always wanted to know what ‘Thighs Wide Shut’ sounded like

Top 10 Strangest Lego Creations

Anyone out theres knows where I can get these elf shoes I used to rock in HS, in size 10, 10.5, or heleven? If you do, I’ll even fuck your mother!

Free Hooters

VIDEO of Michael Larson, Whammy enemy #1

Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs

And, Nancy O’Brills, O’ how I O in your good O’name and graven image night after night. Stay faptastic, and the only respectable and delectable person on tabloid TV…

Mrs Henderson Presents
Not To Be Confused With The Boob Movie!!
View Trailer

Dude, all I have to say write is: Dame Judi Dench, a tit load of tits, and Bob Hoskins’ furry b-day suit.

Recommended for those who like: yams, cans, jugs, and DAMES, and naked wookies named Bob Hoskins!!

Possible Porno Name: Mrs Henderson Prevents Hairy Bush

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix the Emily Hottimer jazzlecise Bright Young Things, or Showgirls, if yer feelin Verhoevenish

Apt MPupil3: ‘Vera’ by Pink Floyd [d-lode]

Picture Pages: Florence Henderson presents herself [NSFW]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers, although it was almost Breast In Show if Breast In Show was solely based on breasts per minute of screentime divided by hair pie R squared

The New World
Not So A-Maize-‘n
View Trailer

The first thirty minutes, pure cinema. The rest? Oh, juss the latest snooze-o-rama from director Terrence Malick, including, but not the limited too: the love story boring of Walk The Line, with less guitars and more Pocahontas selling Land o’ Lakes whilst being chased and bedded by Colin Farrell and Christian Bale thru fields of corn, also known as maize, but not Maze in your face, or null space [d-lode Anime theme song madness NOW, + JUNKY BOY too!]. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Actually the movie colonized itself when Captain Georg von Trapp left Colin Farrell in charge of America while he went back to England for shitty weather and dentistry! AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! He calls up his buddies Kid Rock and Scott Stapp and they start filming Girl Gone Bukkake 2112, in the NEW WORLD!! OH SNAP! Insert some native Americans, and presto, zzzzzzzzzzz with native Americans!

Recommended for those who like: the Apoclaptpo trailer, Chief Wahoo, or kinfolk of Jewel, of photobooth NSFWness fame

Possible Porno Name: The Prude Girl Visits The Nude World

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Master And Commander: The Far Side of the World

Apt MPupil3: ‘Hail To The Redskins’ by The Redskins Band [d-lode via That Guy]

Picture Pages: thanks to Google I know now now know that The Thin Red Zzzzz is nuttin but a 2nd-rate Señor Spielbergo cigarrillo del marajuana

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Wisconsin Badgers

Blessed be you Daniel Snyder, the new King of the Jews, and your King of the Jews money that you shoot out of your hands, like Spiderman, and mcgrab anyone you want for your fantasy squad/my Redskins. May the gadget plays be with us… and TWS.org as well, which ranks 2nd in ‘gadget play’ intersleuthing

Poopied be you Twerps, who blow worser than a 36 minute Andy Warhol movie. Is it football season yet?

Bye bye Boom Boom, for without he, there would be no (non-musical) Hanson brothers, + a mucho belated parking of the life of shaftman Gordon Parks

Jon Stewart, the next Andy Rooney? Dan Rather not or so?

Quite amazed that only 30ish seconds were dedicated to characters watching movies and/or television on last night’s season premmy of The Sopranos, and cause of it, I’ve got opto-mizzum for whats to come… although going fwd, I hope we see less of Maradona‘s cocksmoking doppleganger. As for that new show that followed it… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz fest to the mth degree!!! Sorry, but not even Jeanne Trippletits [NSFW] can save it, or even if they had this girl with three boobies [NSFW]. All-dough they do get + 1 gold stars for having Nap Dyna‘s Deb working at a place called Deb’s

Yous a male and have a bunch of brothers? Yer most likely gay, and therefore will probably have a great shot at creating an insanely popular blog

Czech accountant, Jana Tylova, becomethes the first ever Countess Soduku at the WSPC. CZECH out JT with the rest of her country’s squad…

How do u take your NSFW d’Abo? Maryam or Olivia?

Speaking of… He May Be A Demented, Twisted, Compulsively Masturbating Shitbag, But He’s Our Demented, Twisted, Compulsively Masturbating Shitbag

Top Ten Worst SNL Cast Members of All Time [MogillaMask]

If you only look at one pictorial review of The Hills Have Eyes, make it this one

Ugly Duke girls try to dispel ugly Duke girl myth [Gulf of Sonkin]

Where video games go when they die [Lief Ericsson’s Posse]

Whose Boobs (Strikes Back) Part 2

Something for the lizadies: lots of wet men, by way of Rammstein’s latest video [NSFW]

[WTFOMGZ!]

Past Champions from the World Livestock Auctioneer C’ships

Juicy Fruit ads will never be dullski with Mr Z de la Roachclip’s dang right copy

Fity more of these and we may juss achieve peace in the Middle East: a 12 foot plate of hummus [Lil Red Honey Rider’s Hood]

Fity bottles of these and I may actually get laid: Whiff, the poop odor eliminator

‘Forever Young’ – Alphaville [d-lode]

On The Menu Today: Horse Penis And Testicles With A Chilli Dip [L-ism]

‘God came down from Heaven and made people quote Fletch‘

How To Make A Duct Tape Wallet

paintmeblue’s photos

CILF (it’s like MILF, but with corn!) [BVSC]

How do you says I want to de-core your apple in Russian? [NSFW]

Hoth to host the the Winter Olympics in 2014? …so that’s what all those probe droids were really doing, scouting for giant slalom and super-g locales! [1st site soundy vis World Wide Wangsta]

And if there really is a Gawd, then HE’ll never let our mos flavorite Druish America Princess, Sasha Cohen, and her nude naked camel toe, crossbreed with any of the following (bruce) suitors

[via Baroness SC]

First, the dead

—–

And now for the qwik (since doing this year 2 wrap up thang takes about as long as watching The Ten Commandments on A-B repeat on a trip to Alpha Centauri)

Lolla line-up to be announced next week, but WERD has it that Particle, the Disco Biscuits, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are a go. Brian Peppers is also a possib

Who the fork wants to see Cuthbert play Mike Utley?

The Streets’ vid for ‘When You Wasn’t Famous’. It’s got mad STREETS cred, YO!

Over the tweakend, WE HIT THE 2 MILLION MAN MARCH!!!

MC Hammer hates typepad

Travelin Kubrick eggzibit lookin for partners to help bring it to America. If you work at some fancy shmancy museum and you happen to read my site, MAKE IT HAPPEN OR I’LL CUT OFF YOUR JOHNSON

The Kinks, Prince & Smokey Robinson video mash-up

Think Rod Smart lists ‘He Hate Me’ as a skill on his newly typed up resume?

A NSFW Guide to Women’s Nipples

Plenty o Thank You For Not Smoking screenings

Lego Brokeback Mountain [Fiddler]

Coach K…ommercial [Navi’s Navel Naval Base]

Puppy Mover Monorail

Shock Absorber [Marwanicur]

Do hens produce more poop than they do eggs?

Silly tube maps

Jewish Girls Gone Wild! [Shady Acres]

Press-on madness

Most Unusual Buildings On Earth

REAL transformer [Pakula Shaker]

And then ZARDOZZZZZZZZZz

and