Thighs Wide Shut

Mo images of Ms Beesley, other hotties, and a bit of ye ole nip slippery can be found on the Tastic

Lily Allen totally wants to munch on Mark Ronson’s choda

‘curvy’s when you’ve got a bit of weight all over, instead of having heavy tits‘. Girls, can’t we all juss get along share a bath?

Ricky G, MS-DOS shill

it’s about Time, but they need to get a Life cause they didn’t contact yers drooly, who’s almost cooler than LL Cool Bean

props to Sam Champion, Gay Morning America’s newest man of weather

NFL Network & Time Warner, stop sucking yer own caks and start sucking mine. If you don’t wanna do that, then forkin give each other some HJs and give me the damn NFL Network already!!!

see, it’s not so hard to be Jackson Pollock

see, you’d be hard too like Jackson Pollack if you got to bang Jennifer Connelly in yer own biopic, or if you happen to be watching her purrrrrfect ya–yas hang out in Mulholland Falls [NSFW]

Zeptember 12th can’t come soon enuff

cartoon skeletal systems

The Generator Blog

Opening Shots

Arcade At The Movies, snatchurally including Maximilian Largo’s casino filled with nuttin but Centipede

Who invented the cocktail umbrella & and why?

related: I was a designated driver at Guns n’ Rosenthal’s wedding last nite and had a Shirley Temple for the first time in maybe 15 years. Either they aren’t as good as I remember or the bartender can’t make em for shit. (btw, that’s the real reason I didn’t catch the Emmys, although I was able to braid yer mum’s p-hair when I returned to NYC at 2:30am EST)

YTMND: N$gga Stole Pee Wee’s Bike

and although these are not my hot wheels, I sure would pimp them if they were. Hell, I’d even eat shrimp on em!

[hat tip to to De Horny Toad for the snapple!]

The Quiet
Coming Thru (My Pants) Loud And Clear
Trailer

There are only two ways I can objectively review this movie: Han Is Lee and Len Biased. And you my lucky (reuben) drones, will be treated to both

Sexual abuse within a family never makes for the mos popcorn pleasing cinema, yet The Quiet, director Jamie Babbit‘s follow up to her quirky But I’m a Cheerleader, is a pleasure to watch. Me not saying that I get my kicks outta watching a father molest her daughter to the point of her wanting to kill him, but what I is saying is that all the players involved are so darn convincing that I could overlook the student-filmish feel and pacing of the entire picture. Hell, this thing had ‘straight-to-video’ written all over it, but since it stars the hotliest screen duo of the aughts, Cuthbest/Bellebest, and not Justin Timberlake, it has a chance to strike a chord with a wide audience. And I sure hope it does. While there’s much to commend about the mannered performances of Martin Donovan, Edie Falco, and of course, one of the brightest and mos eyebrowlicious stars around, Her Eternal Royal Thighness, the real props deleon have gotta go to HRT the II, Elisha Cuthies Cuthsplurt Cuthbert. Best know for being the clueless daughter of Jack Bauer, who has been chased by everything from bears to Johnny Chase, and for her mad blue-balling of audiences everywhere in The Girl Next Door, Ms Cuthbert really hasn’t had a chance to show her true talents, outside of those who’ve seen Lucky Girl/My Daughter’s Secret Life (I’m spanking in yer direction BlogFather). As the abused and damaged gooded daughter in The Quiet, Cuthie goes the extra mile here and truly has earned the right to be called something a lil more important than a fine piece of a$$. If I’m not mistaken, I believe the industry calls such a thing an ‘actress’.

Dude, Barbara Fiorentino and Rebecca Mangieri should not only receive honorary Oscars, but the key to every Scottish city that has a loch (get it?), a parade across the entire surface of Mars complete with Shriner escorts, and the right to take a dump in any men’s bathroom they please. Why? Well, as casting directors for The Quiet, one can only a$$ zoom that these two were responsible for the mos splooge-tastic screen pairing since a bottle of champagne met with Denise Richards’ bosoms [NSFW, duhvs]: Cuthlisha Bellmilla. OH MAI FORKING LORD O MIGHTY MOUSE! Even though the two don’t lick each other, share a bath, help each other shower, help each other shave, help each other apply lotion, Cool-Whip, or WD-40 to their respective bodies, the screen sizzles whenever the two occupy the same frame. There was one shot in pardickular where the two are lying on a bed together, fully clothed, and I turned to Tom Wellington, the greatest living actor and Pat O’Brien remixer in the world, and said, ‘this is what heaven looks like.’ Juss think of it as the ultimate tease. While there’s so much dark matter being displayed on the screen, the viewer/splooger is left to create his (no ‘her’ here, unless ‘her’ licksalottapuss) own light splatter when they get home from the theater. While some may see that as a disappointment, you gotta give these young girls credit for keeping their clothes on. Cause once they head down the nekkid road, there’s no mystery left and therefore no man needs to see a movie with them in it ever again. And to make yer splatters wurst, the only yammy yams one gets to see belong to Edie Falco. I haven’t seen such sloppy jalopies like dat since Edith Wharton took her top off at that Who concert! Did I mention that when Cuthbust is not being molested by her father (and if you were her father, wouldn’t you…) she’s probably wearing a cheerleading outfit? You can’t spell ‘actress’ without ‘ass’, as in piece of. YOWZAAAAAAAA!!!

Possible Porno Name: Quite The Tit

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix The Woodsman [Review | Trailer]

Apt MPupil3: ‘Quiet’ by The Smashing Pumpkins [d]

IMDb Sweeney: I’m all aboard the Babbit train, hispecially if she keeps lining up the hotties. Her next pic, Itty Bitty Titty Committee, stars the Diet Coke-Starry Eyed Sirprize beaut Nicole Vicius (see bottom of posting)

Han Is Lee John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Len Biased John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): dude, do u even have to ask? Four Breasts In Show

The Quiet opens in NYC/LA this Friday
& st elsewhere st whenever

until next time the balcony is clothed…

..and hopefully next time Camish Cuthbelle will be nekkid

Lucas on Indy 4: ‘We’re basically going to do ‘The Phantom Menace.‘ Hide the woman and children and droids!!!

take a leak on these Transformer leaked snaps!! [Pakula Shaker]

Lily Allen, meet North America

Netflix is one of the ten largest users of first-class mail in America. Find out how it all works, with this brief, but in-depth report from a Netflix warehouse located in my MD hometown [Stephen Hacking]

the thumbpossible has become possible? spanks to Laing Sack of Sh&t and his Hawaiian vacation, Mauna Loa’s Milk Chocolate Toffee Macadamias have temporarily replaced Dutch Stroopwafles as my exotic treat that can’t be beat! Will Terrell Owens’s Exotic Popcorn Getcha Popcorn Ready be the next champ of my chompers?

I wonder how the strip steak was at the inaugural World Strip Poker Championship. Maybe they can hold the event next year in the Gaza Strip. Exiting corny jokes…. NOW!

qwik Tribe Called Quest ‘What’ riff: What heights are wuthering without Charlotte Bronte? What is a Gremlins flick without Joe Dante?

America’s Best Colleges 2007. Bovine University, still unranked

unphotochop twosday: The Jack White House [Veeeeeg]

Goldenfiddle’s Daily Double Genius Species: A Man Should Look Out After His Family AND Tagged

the only people who don’t think that the name ‘Redskins’ isn’t racist? Redskins fans, and gawd bless em. But if a compromise had to be made, I says call em juss the Skins, as in red potato skins, and ditch the proud Injun on the helmet and replace it with the spear, or at least this picture of Shitney Spears from the Teen Choice Awards

peace the fork out Joe ‘Guns n’ Rosenthal, who may have taken the single mos iconic photo of balls thyme. And a belated p.t.f.o. to Esther L. Snyder, who co-founded In-N-Out Burger, and in turn, the stoopidest thing I’ve ever heard of: a secret menu

[AS220]

South of the Border Simpsons… AYE CARUMBA! [Monkey Boy]

Poll: Jews want to date Portman, Ali G

Poll: Jews have predictable taste, hate bacon, but secretly love it

I cunt bee leave Ahmadinejad gave You, Me, and Dupree such a glowing review!

Are cats tails an involuntary or voluntary movement?

don’t bother clickin, cause u can get the answer from yer mom who’s carpet I juss got dunn shaving: How Kissing Works [Mod Squad]

the least scariest game based on one of the more scarier movies: The Freddy Game

Are two heads better than getting head?

NYC, Lego stizz [Data Who Dat?]

Portraits of Current World Leaders

the largest s’more ever [Super Thighs Me]

Onion Booty [kinda NSFW]

Man Not Found, Dog

and if there were ever a time to pant over panties…

verdict on Kornheiser‘s pre-season MNF debut: Zzzzzzzzz

verdict on Entourage‘s use of Lily Allen‘s ‘Knock Em Out’: (Pa-lea)zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(e)!

verdict on Kevin Smith’s sub-thumbing for ailin Ebert: sirprizzzzzzzzingly not awful, although he did recommend a DVD featuring himself talking about how awful he is

verdict on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s interview con Mike Wallace: dude may be krazy, but dude has great taste in jackets

Samaire Armstrong turns to plan B, which should never be confused with Jennitt’s prod co or Di Kea’s poo fest

the Donald to Ivanka: ride the Thighmaster’s jock

mo Hof than a Hofnads family reunion at the Hofbräuhaus

Helvetica: THE MOVIE!! Hopefully this will open the door for Blippo‘s thumcredible life story that’s currently being shopped around Hollywurst

toss up on what’s more beerlarious: Perez Hilton’s mini-cat fight with Tara Reid or being clued in on where to buy his threads

spleaking of Police Squad, anyone else out dare remember the show that followed it’s re-airing on CBS in the summer of the ’91, Morton and Hayes, aka Rob Reiner’s valentine to B&W ye olde comedians, starring Kevin Pollak? If anyone finds a snap from the show, I’ll braid yer grundle hair for below market price

I mean, c’mon, even Gigi Stone won’t eat herself [Brad Foreskin]

The Kennedy Girls [NSFW]

memo to Michael Scott: not only do black people love pizza, but so do Jews!

creeping of Jews, I’ve always dreamt of having my ketchup labeled ‘Blood of Christian Children‘ and NOW I have to dreamt no mo!!

How do Chinese parents name their children?

Where did fortune cookies come from and are they really Chinese?

obvscure movie sdtrks for d-lode [Wooly Wolcott]

frynally, someone found a use for Google maps [Marwanicured Hams]

The Mystery Man Behind The Magic Bullet

pictures you can’t take anymore

Tall, Slim, & Erect, and for once, I’m not talking about yer mum’s asparagus odor emitting penis

kid in a tumble dryer

the rare Pringles Man stigmata

I just wanted to tell you… [NSFW]

and in redonkey spunk side boob news… try not to get blinded by the (head) lights, 1nce again

Q: What’s the breast mainstream JO matz since the Victoria Secret catalog surpassed the b&w goodness of JCPenney undergarment newspaper ads?

Winona gives a dummy a ride(r)

Lily Allen, like any good Brit should, visits the dentist

Ifans goes to Church?

the Playboy girls from Playboy’s The Girls Next Door pose for Playboy [NSFW]

The Office’s Guide to what is SFW and what is NSFW

how any Steeler fan should be laid to rest

Samuel L Jackson not only wants to be in every movie, he also wants to be on everyone’s phone

give Steve-O some tats

can u smell the foo-ball a comin’?
can u smell my farts on the internets?
i dunno, (dave) butz u better watch superskinstar
Joe ‘Theatervision’ Jacoby score his 1st NFL TD

Free Flick Alert: Bart ‘Mr Julianne Moore’ Freundlich’s Trust The Man or How To Eat Fried Worms

Make your own virtual concert ticket

Misheard Lyrics [Menyinc]

huh?

WindFire Cursor

the breast commercial none of us have ever seen, featuring that hot a$$ Eyes Wide Shut orgy music [fakey NSFW viz WTFOMGzz]

Punch-Out vs E.T.

and something I really want to bid on, but really shouldn’t:

a life size McDonald’s Dick Tracy cardboard poster, from the Crimestopper Game circa 1990, which quite arguably, could be the 2nd greatistest game they ever game out with (‘sides Monopoly). Hactually, I think that would make a great Thighs posting. So help me jogggg my memory and touch my mammaries and email me yer flavorite McDonald’s games of besteryear!

and why the fork not: Rumors On The Internets