Summer of Spam
04. Jun, 2007 
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Knocked Up
Baby Geniuses
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Bein such a negative Nelly when it comes to comedies, I honestly believed that no other movie was going to topple Hot Fuzz [TWS.org review] from the year’s top spot in good humor. That is shlubvs course until I was wowed by Judd Apatow’s latest sex comedy, Knocked Up. I was wowed simply cause I didn’t expect to be. I was probably the only person on earth who didn’t have his hilarity hymen broken by The 40 Year Old Virgin [TWS.org review]. It may not have been as numb and number inducing as any Will Ferrell comedy, but it wasn’t anything earth or youranus shattering either. That film was solely carried by Steve Carell’s innocence, but his innocence has been utilized far greater in pretty much every other thang he’s been in, well, cept maybe in Sleepover. So based on Virgin, I wasn’t eggspecting too much from Knocked Up, hispecially being a Michael Scott Free-less production, and a Seth Rogen love fest. Boy was I wrong, cause with Rogen drivin this ship, and by ship, I mean Katherine Heigl’s amazin bod to motherhood, not only did hilarity ensue, but reality as well. Yeppers. Up is not only loaded with laughter, but it’s 526% more realistic than most comedies. When’s the last time you could actually identify with the characters in the comedy? If your answer is Horatio Sanz in Boat Trip, then please cut out your eyes, then cut your penis in half and then shove each half penis into your now empty eye sockets. See Knocked Up, NOW!
Know Ledge: Count Rogen, along with 8 other peeps, were nominated for an Emmy in 2005 for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program for their work on HBO’s Da Ali G Show
Don’t Knock It Tell You Try Them: 3,234 Knock Knock Joe-ks
John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Grant Show•
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Fool of Ship, I mean Full of Shit
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After the barnacle debacle that was adventure #2 [one of our better reviews mt everest], I thought the Pirates franchise had nowhere to go but up. With #3, At World’s End (hell, it coulda been called Curse of the Jade Scorpion for all I care), the franchise doesn’t move up or down, but laterally. Seriously folks, if they projected #2 in the theater, under the name of #3, I wouldnta known the difference. They’re the same exact pointless movie: some pirate captain returns from the dead, they sail somewhere, when they’re done there, they sail somewhere else, the crew goes rrrrrrr, uglfied Naomi Harris cooks some voodoo chile, Tessek gets slimy, Orlando Bloom bores me to death, and Keira Knightley doesn’t give anyone a lap dance. And to make splatters worse, the only worthwhile thang about the whole Pirates universe, Captain Jack Sparrow, doesn’t even appear until 40+ minutes in! And the tease they tack on after the end credits [vid] wouldn’t even whet the appetite of Dom DeLuise after a 3 month hunger strike!! If they really wanted to make Pirates 3 something worth writing home about, or even worth writing to a prisoner about, they should let every character get lost at sea, cept Cpt Jack and his screen father, Keith Richards, who arguably chips in one of the greatestist cameos in film history, and let the two give us a RUM for our money
IMDb Sweeney: Keef has 2 udder film credits under his belt, ’69’s Michael Kohlhaas – Der Rebell and the ’72 experimental Film Umano Non Umano, alongside Mick and former flame Anita Pallenberg
Pirate Booty: you didn’t ask for it, but yer mos def gonna click on it… KEEF RICHARDS, NUDE! [NSFW, DUH]
John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Richards and Depp barely save this sinking ship from total capsizement, so Not A Whole Lot O’ Merit But No Stinkin Badges Either•
Once
Irish Eyes Are Singing
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Frames frontman SLASH Commitments alumster Glen Hansard and Czech mate Markéta Irglová certainly make beautiful music together. For those of us who never discovered that fact on Hansard’s first solo album, which features the stylins of Irglová, The Swell Season, lettuce be thankful that the two decided to take their sweet sweet music and put in on display in one sweet sweet film. In Once, Hansard plays a Dublin street performer who befriends an immigrant single-mother, played by Irglová. They may be worlds apart, but musically, they’re more in sync than those two snake oil salesman who said ‘say’ in threes. The film is certainly rich in music, but sometimes a little too much. It sorta plays out like a 90 minute making of a music video, and sadly, in th
e process, the nice lil boy meets girl story kinda gets brushed to the side. By the time things start to gel between the two, the credits are rolling. The mind may wonder ‘what if’, but it’ll probably be too busy tryin to get that sweet sweet music outta yer pretty lil head
Netflex: if you’ve never, or haven’t in awhile, peep one of the finest music films mt EVEREST, Alan Parker’s The Commitments. Hear Glen talk about that film here
Apt MPupil3: Glen and Markéta‘s gem ‘Falling Slowly‘ [d|vid]
John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Dr Peepers•
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
