BiLAMEial 2008
17. Mar, 2008 
2 Comments
the 2008 Whitney Biennial blew more goats than Balki Bartokomous and more sheep than Gene Wilder did in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask). either the artists have given up on trying to make interesting art or they’ve given up trying to make art interesting. whatever the case, they aren’t trying hard enough… or maybe they’re trying too hard… about as hard as we get when we watch Madonna’s ‘Vogue’ video
first and foremost and foreskin: unless yer Nam June Paik, can hack Nintendo games or directed this NSFW Gore Vidal Caligula trailer, no one wants to see your video art, so please don’t bother making it. as soon as we see a black curtain leading to a dark room at any museum, we run for the hills, even if they do have eyes, and hispecially if they have thighs! mussta been slim pickens this year on that front cause they had to drag Spike Lee’s uber-brills When The Levee Broke into one of dem dark rooms. sure, the film is art, but we’d rather watch it on our HDTV at home than in a box the size of the closet where Patty Hearst was kept by the SLA
so what about the non-video shaz? there’s blue paint without a title. wow Oliver Mosseetttt, you really gotta show us your technique!!! and then there’s skinny shizzles that looks like wads of spitballs. Oh, Charles Long, you be more like Charles WRONG! and what about crap everywhere on a floor with some neon tossed in? good luck trying to sell that piece (of crap) Jason all Rhoades lead to sucks! don’t even get us started on the dude with the scary blue eyes! the Gatorade feeding plants thing was sorta-amusing, but so was watching My Two Dads when we were 10 years old and didn’t have many thoughts in our brain. Urgggggggh. what a bunch of crap on a stick AND stick on a crap! the only thing we really cared for was Robert Bechtle‘s photorealism paintings, but his work isn’t very cutting edge considering he’s been doin this kinda stuff since the late 60s
lucikly the next biennial isn’t for another two years. maybe by that time the artists will come up with something other than nothing and video art will start hacking Nintendo games again. in the meantime, we’ll JO to a different Whitney and look fwd to these two eggzibitions ee comings up that we hope will wipe the bongwater taste left in our mouth: Henry Darger @ the Folk Art Muse and Takashi Murakami @ the Brook Muse
and an oldie but a moldie: Thigh Mizzle’s Top Hill-even Art-ease-its of Balls Thyme
