The Maine Event
12. Aug, 2008 
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we was up in nowheresville, ME this past tweakend, celebratin the union of our baseball seeking [wav] man Mavkrus and his blushing bride. there was nuttin really to do up there besides drink and screw, so we killed 2 birds with one stone and drank screwdrivers! (not really, but it’s more poetic if we said we did)
where the mountains are larger and more beautiful
than Katie Downes‘ [NSFW]
and every third bidness is named Moosehead something
yet we didn’t see one moose whilst wees was there
although we talked frequently about Daryl Johnston
this ghetto Lobster Roll Express
was more humorous than The Pineapple Express
lobster meat and mayo are a deadly combo
and so are our lobster farts and anyone’s nose
you like Red Sox ice cream Doc?
we bet it has a winning taste
unlike, say, Washington Nationals ice cream
which probably tastes like last place
the last time we went canoeing
it sucked cause the joint was only burning on one side
beards rule!
but not as much as our readers!
we took a leak on this island
and pooped on your head!
apparently dog drowning is legal in Maine
and so is (javier) boredom
we’re so pissed that rainbows have been stolen by gay people
as well as banging people in the butt
a sign of the thymes
that can suck our wake
cause at Woody’s the drinks are as wet as the chicks
and the cash in the ceiling rules everything around us
so C.R.E.A.M., get the money and CREAM, in your pants
and never throw in the towel
