Thighs Wide Shut

this via this via this via OviWani

The Square
The Jittered of Oz
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

A married man (David Roberts) and a married woman (Claire van der Boom) are having a steamy love affair with one another (are there any other kinds of affairs?).  One day, after the woman finds a bag full of cash that her Billy Ray Cyrus mulleted hubby (Anthony Hayes) hid in their house, she comes up with the not so golden idea to steal it and run off with her lover (never heards this scenario befores!!).  Lover thinks it’s crazy at first, but since it’s a movie and he lusts after her sweet bippy they go ahead with it (and what a sweet bippy!!  see below).  Plan is to steal money first, have house burned to ground by someone is not be them, and live happily ever after.  Don’t works like that!!!  Billy Ray Cyrus’ mom in house when burns down and from there all hell breaks loose. It’s all purty typical noir stuffs with Murphy’s Law enacted at every given chance, cept there’s one big difference: The Square hails from Down Under (that’s Australia, if you didn’t know)!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Credit the brothers Edgerton (director Nash, who’s mainly a stunt man by day, and writer/actor Joel, whom you might remember as a young Owen Lars) with not being very original (‘Edgerton’ muss be Aussie for ‘Coen’), but keeping the oh no, oh snap & oh craps rolling til the very end.  Now that’s a knife noir!!!

van der Boom Goes The Dynamite: Claire van der Boom?  more like Claire va va van vrooom!!  she was also in HBO’s The Pacific and in our Outback dreams, bloomin our onions!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Square is currently hip to a limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

30 Awesome (although ‘awesome’ may be stretching it a bit) Rare Star Wars Photos [Movieline]

listen to the Gorillaz’ Plastic Beach in its oddly oodley funtastic entirety + peep the vid for ‘Stylo’ guest starring Bruce Willis! (it’s more entertaining than Cop Out)

Cristina Del Basso > Old El Gas-o [1st one NSFW]

after watching this heartfelt and melancholy interview with Jake Lloyd, 10 years removed from playing Anakin Skywalker in Episode 1, we wanna take back every single negative thing we’ve ever said about him and that 2854 hour pod race. sure, no one pointed a gun to his head and said, boy, you have to be in this movie and act worser than Bruce Jenner in Can’t Stop The Music, but someone musta did put a gun to George Lucas’ head and said, manboy, write the crudiest script you could possibly dream up, with dialog that smells worser than some logs found in a public toilet, that will single-handedly ruin all things great about Star Wars. then the gunman demanded that Lucas kill off its two most awesome new characters in the first movie and thus leave the next two adventures devoid of anything worth watching, besides bugs farting (see #7) and the mos JOable Star Wars scene mt EVERest, when Natalie Portman, in that tight white outfit, gets slashed on the waist and screams in ecstasy agony. if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive Jake Lloyd, then juss watch his fake father Christopher dance like no one is watching [addish reporting by OviWani]

now that The Old Man of the Mountain has crumbled more than a presidential campaign run by his brother John Kerry, a new thing hath since becometh the bestest thing to hail from our 9th state, New Hampshire, and it goes by the name of Funspot

fo those of yous who saw the franztastic doc King of Kong, you probably remember this as the place Steve Wiebe earned his crown, but fo the rest of you alls, lest this serve as a giant wake-up call as it’s a place (right behind Graceland and the Kingdom of Thighland) to make a pilgrimage to befive you dies. if you were an arcade gamer in the 80s, or ever wanted to know what it was like back then (we pity the fool you), then you MUSS get yer a$$ to Mars Funspot, and specifically, to their American Classic Arcade Museum section. LOOK AT THIS FRIGGIN FARGIN LIST O GAMES!!!! tits a gamer’s wet dream come true and all over one’s pants (the only ones missing in our books be Baby Pac Man and Haunted House pinball). most of the old schooly games are only a token. $20 gets you 80 tokens + a bonus of 50!!! that’s MO than a enuff to keep you busy for hours and hours of powers and powers!!!!

all hail the King of Kong!!!

WIEBE!!

anywho, Kid Kadoji and we used a visit to our pal Tom Welling: Greatest Actor EV‘s Shirehamp lake house paddy-pad as an eggcuse to go to the F-Spot (or was it the other way around?). everyone had such a gay olde thyme there (sadly we didn’t have enuff gay olde thyme for duckpin bowling, air hockey, kiddie bumper cars or bingo. yes Funspot also has BINGO!) that we’re gonna invite ourselves back to TW:GAE’s place next summer so we can keep feeding our Crystal Castles addiction (BK’s splendid Barcade will fill in our arcading void in the interim). anywho rd2, we took some fotos, and here they is, but fotos could never replace the actual experience of slipping money into metal slots. THE LOOSEST SLOTS IN ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!!!

doesn’t get more klassic than the OG Star Wars game

cause nuttin beats blowin up the Death Star over & over & over

another of our balls thyme faves, esp the mine car riding part

too bad there aint a level where you get to whip George Lucas

man, we’re juss as awful at Paperboy as we used to be!

hactually, all these old games are forkin umpossible!!

TRON!

almos as confusing and as lame as the original movie!

we gots more Elevator Action this July

then we did regular action

SKATE OR DIE!!!

eat it Anderson Cooper & yer 360 BS!!!

biggest waste of tokens mt EVERest: Dragon’s Lair

but nuttin beats its look, spanks to Don Bluth!

2nd biggest waste of tokens mt EVERest: Space Ace

which is D Lair’s flashier, butter playing brother

wait, they made a real game out of the fictional game in C & D?

either way, that game sucked!
but the movie didn’t!
go Dabney Coleman!!!

POOYAN!

it sez POO!!!

pee es – we were a lil depressed that the Crossbow and Fire Truck games were out of order :(

pee es 2 – the folks over at Joystiq made a visit as well and took an a$$ load of (butter) pics!