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Charles Dance Off Pants Off

29. Dec, 2014 0 Comments

The Imitation Game
The Code Less Traveled
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 114 min

imitation game

Everyone is gay for Benedict Cumberbatch.  So when Benedict Cumberbatch plays a gay guy, does everyone get gayer than all these people???  YESS!!!!

In The Imitation Game, Bennie Cumby plays Alan Turing, the godfather of computers, and the man that broke the Nazi Enigma machine code, and shortened WWII by II years.  WHAT A GUY!!!  But he was gay, and being gay back then was not all that, like being gay is now all that.  He couldn’t wear feather boas in the streets or see Can’t Stop The Music in theaters, and ultimately it cost him his dignity and his life.  WOAH!!!

The movie is his story – becoming gay, going gay for Maths (love how British people call it ‘Maths’), then going gay for cracking codes and saving the world, then juss being gay, and getting in trouble for it.  SO GAY!!!  But all this gayness doesn’t make for a super gay movie – it’s actually a pretty straightforward tale of men (and a woman – Keira Knightley) at war and trying to end it – and it’s good stuff – juss nothing super gay that will make you shoot rainbows out of your butt

BUTT – Charles Dance – cinema’s greatest modern screen a$$hole (a SAG-HOFer) – gets to be a screen a$$hole to a cocky Cumberbatch.  I could watch them go at it ALL DAY (not in a gay way, but yes, also in a gay way).  Sadly, they don’t go at it all day, so I guess I’ll hope for Imitation Game 2 or juss a 2nd pairing between the two (although the two have been in 2 other things together but not sure they shared the screen at the same time)  

I mean, who doesn’t want to see a Benedict-Charles dance off pants off???

cumerbatch dance

charles dance lets dance

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Up! Up! & Hathaway

19. Nov, 2014 2 Comments

Interstellar
Somewhere Between 2001 and 2010, so 2005?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 169 min

Christopher Nolan is back!!!! In my mind at least. Didn’t care for his last Batman, nor Inception, which in retrospect was a lame dream within a lame dream within a lame dream

Maybe I needed some space from Nolan, or maybe Nolan needed to go to space. AND HE DID!!! IN SPADES!!! WHATEVER ‘IN SPADES‘ MEANS!!! Sure, it’s no 2001: A Space Odyssey, but it definitely wishes it was. Don’t we all

it was actually like this – in pictures (spoilers-ish ahead!)…

Matthew McConaughey likes to drive his big car
mcoughney drives

IN LIKE SMALLVILLE OR SOMETHING!
smallville 1978

And his daughter is Renesmee!
Renesmee

and like the Dust Bowl is happening or something
buster blown

and books are acting ghostly
ghost book

and everything we know is a lie
fake moon landing

and the earth is dying and all we have left is corn
bay corn hanks

and NASA is like in the same building as the WOPR was
WOPR

but the WOPR is now like some robot with no head but with crazy CRAZY crazy-assed legs
tars

which kinda reminds me of the best logo ever – the 70s WB one

anywho, McConaughey is like the last Starfighter
last starfighter

so says Michael Caine

but there are like 3 other starfighters joining him, including a not TOO annoying Anne Hathaway
anne hatwhay

and then typical space and movie space stuff happens…

legos astronaut

2001 ship

space call

space stuff

captain eo

cat pizza space

and then there’s some planetary visitations, to see if we could live there!

waterworld

hoth

and then there’s madness

and space lights

and some like dumb hokey Contact sh!t
contacy

and then a whole lot of stuff I don’t understand what they were talkin bout Willis
science

and then Elysium/70s future or something

and then some Benjamin Button type stuff pushing the kinda right AND wrong buttons at the same time
cate button

the end

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Interstellar is spaceballin’ at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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2 Comments

Fare Thee Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well

13. Nov, 2014 0 Comments

Peace The Forks Out

to

Dim The Lights for

Dim

dim sorta smile

dim milk clockwork karova

dim milk

cockwork orange

durango 95 dim

warren clarke durangodim burango

dim drives

dim smiles

dim clockwork smile

clockwork dim

dim cut

dim pool clockwork

dim cop clockwork

clarke clockwork set mcdowell

thank you Warren Clarke

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Contras Banned

13. Oct, 2014 Comments Off on Contras Banned

Kill The Messenger
Runner Renner
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 112 min

kill the messenger

I was alive (and well) in the 80s, and heard all about the Iran-Contra Affair, but had no idea what any of it meant, other than Oliver North lied to us, and Fawn Hall had people fawning all over her. That’s why need movies like Kill The Messenger – to remind us of the shadowy things and stuff that the US done did, that we either don’t know or cared to forget about. The messenger is Gary Webb (Jeremy Renner in the rare role of a good guy), a reporter for the San Jose Mercury News, who blew the lid off of a story of how the CIA backed the sale of Nicaraguan Contras’ cocaine on American soil, and turned the profits into the Contras’ ammunition for their freedom fight back home. Once the lid came off, it couldn’t be put back on – and Webb became collateral damage of his own story. The CIA and even the media itself tried to bury the lead, and the lead writer with it. Michael Cuesta‘s film solidly captures the tension and fallout for Webb/Renner, but it never quite adds up to All The President’s Men II, even with a stellar supporting cast consisting of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rosemarie DeWitt, Barry Pepper, Ray Liotta, Paz Vega, Oliver Platt, Michael Sheen, Richard Schiff, Andy García, Robert Patrick, Michael K Williams and Tim Blake Nelson

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Kill shoots to inform at a theater near jews

I’m still waiting for a Contra movie, called Contra: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start

contra1

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Comments Off on Contras Banned

Jaws of Life & Death

11. Sep, 2014 0 Comments

Peace The Forks Out

to

Slower, Jawsycat! Kiel!! Kiel!!! Kiel!!!!

jaws moorew

moore kiel

jaws moore

jaws moooooon

bbach kiel

jaws 2

cannnball

keil fam

keil runs

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