Thighs Wide Shut

Watch white people rock out to Gnarls B in the desert

Watch President Logan give love to NY’s FOX local news

No longer ask if there is a Gawd, cause there aint one, hispecially if Revenge of The Nerds is being remade [Craig Wolffmother]

No longer wonder what the Charlatans UK have been up to, d-lode their hotness ‘When The Lights Go Out In London’ [yousendsit]

No longer ponder how San Fran be-CAME the land of gaylords

Civic Duty
Nate Fisher (Funkin Goes) Nuts
Trailer
US Release Date – hopefully never

It’s your Civic Duty to NOT see this movie. Ever. If Sunday’s screening was amateur hour, yet watchable, what be this dud about an unemployed accountant goin all sorts of gnarls barkley crazy cause his neighbor is Middle Eastern and therefore is Middle Eviliestest, amateur hour and 40 minutes? YEEEEEeeeikes!!! I’ve seen better Canadian made for TV movies, namely the gambling one with Cuthbest that Uncle G turned me onto, Lucky Girl (also know by its American title, My Daughter’s Secret Life). Look, I love Nathaniel Samuel Fisher Jr as much as the next gay guy, but unless yer a huge fan of perma-angry Nate, best to stay away. What waste of time to shine for the luminous Kari Matchett (the Invasion lady I’d mos love to invade), who chips in decent supporting work as Nate’s wife. I knew wees were in trouble when the producer of the film introduced it by saying that the feedback of previous CD TFF screenings were ‘interesting’. I knew wees were even more trouble then the box office gross of Nothing But Trouble when my movie date fell asleep 10 minutes in. I’ll admit, the ending was killer, a cop-out, but still a killer, but nothing coulda saved this sinking ship shit. Not even Mischa Barton getting eaten out by a monkey!

Recommended for those who like: ATM envelopes, Erlenmeyer flasks, and fake movie news channels

Possible Porno Name: Cervix Duty

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix Rear Window [trailer vis Movie-list.com]

Apt MPupil3: ‘Paranoid Android’ by Radiohead [d] y ‘Paranoid’ by Black Sabbath [live d]

IMDb Sweeney: other movies with one 6FtUnderer & Invasionist, 2005’s The Longest Yard (James Cromwell & William Fichtner), Broken Flowers (Frances Conroy & Alexis Dziena), Havoc (Freddy Rodríguez & Alexis Dziena), and all though not fitting with the exact theme, Can’t Hardly Wait (Freddy Rodríguez & Lauren Ambrose… who knew?)

Thighspotting: Furio, of 2 Fast 2 Furio fame, was in attendance

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Slit Your Eyes Out ReDONKEYpoopulous

Current Mood: alive
Current Music: music

Gayest movie mt EVERest to be remade into probably the 2nd Gayest movie mt FUJIest

Paul Oakenfold + Brittany Murphy(?) = ‘Faster Kill Pussycat’ [d vis Rich Wee]

Matt Friedberger, music’s Woody Allen?

What do the Streets’ Mike Skinner and Scott Stereogum have in common? An unyielding love for Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’ video

Mandy Moore refunds those who bought her first album that ‘sucked’. If HJs are a form of repayment, I think I’m gonna go buy every copy in eggsistance

Lily Allen interview, cause what’s a day w/o a LA link (not to be confused with LA Law)?

How does Tori Amos and my’s HS go from being the 11th breast in the country to the 15th? I mean, our bell schedule is second to none! ROCKET PRIDE ROCKET POWER

Travis b-sides

CheckOutMyBreasts.com [NSFW, but in a good way vis Newbsy]

The Gumfighter‘s drink of choice? Hubba Bubba soda

Do McDonald’s milkshakes contain seaweed?

My Old Mac

Now Start A Beard

50 Animals Driving

Faces of Meth

From the Sorry, I Can’t Help You Dept: used underwear from maria sharapova you can buy

World’s wurstest Willy Wonka homage

Wickerpedia

The Art of Motion

Anne Sellors, uncredited for good reason

And they may not be Nazis, but they is still crazy…

Journey to the End of the Night
Doesn’t Go Gentle, But Still A Good Night
Trailer – Not Available
Websight
US Release Date – 10/1/06

Clarice Starling’s mentor & Encino Man are a father-son set of pimps down in Sao Paulo Brazil. They’re both involved in a drug deal that will set em straight til their twilight days. They’re also both involved with Catalina Sandino Moreno, el super hottieo from Maria Full of Grace. To complicate things even further, Jack Crawford is her hubbie, and Dudley Do-Right is her lover. If that wasn’t enuff, in order for the drug deal to go thru they need someone who speaks a certain African language, and when their guy croaks after boning a shemale whore, they’re forced to turn the duties over to a dishwasher who works in their club, the always franztastic Mos Def, who this time disappears behind a Nigerian accent. Of course no plans ever go as expected, and along the way, shots are fired, people get killed, a blind soothsayer says sooth, and Sonia Braga’s niece Alice gives CS Moreno a run for her South American bonita-ness-ness (you may remember her as the girl of everyone’s affection in City of God).

So is it any good? Short response? Yes. Long response? It’s kinda amateurish. The dialog is cheesy, hispecially between father and son. The music is overly dramatic for a story that wishes it was more dramatic. It employs that Robert Altman overlapping character crap that I’ve had enuff of (hell, I’ve had enuff of Altman). And Brenden Fraser in a drama that isn’t School Ties is always amiss. But despite its glaring minsusuzuz, it’s vibriant, bewitching, and a Mos Defilicious piece of filmmaking.

Recommended for those who like: phone destruction, Mr Eko, and flying monkeys, but not from butts

Possible Porno Name: Horny Til I End My Night In Your Tight A$$

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix one of my mos flavorite movies of this decade, The Good Thief [trailer]

Apt MPupil3: ‘It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp’ by DJay [d]

IMDb Sweeney: Catalina Sandino Moreno will appear in Ethan Hawke’s next directorial joint, The Hottest State, which foddly enuff also stars Sonia Braga. And even foddlier, I was a PA on Ethan’s first full length feature, Chelsea Walls. Hopefully E-dawg will give me her number, so I can do a number on her!

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Dude, anything with Catalina Sandino is MOS DEF Jeepers Worth A Peepers… thus far