Thighs Wide Shut

Sketches of Frank Gehry
Artist of The Portrait As An Old Man
Trailer
US Release Date – currently playing in NYC, LA this Friday, and st elsewhere this month

Frank Gehry. You’ve mos likely heard the name, or have seen at least one of his masterpieces, or monstrosities, depending on who you ask, but who the fork really is Frank G, and what the hell does he look like? Architects have about as much public exposure as an NFL offensive lineman: they get the job done, but yet they remain facless to the masses and the Massholes. So, what does FG hactually look like? Your average grey-haired Jewish zeide. And if yer a gentile, that means grandfather you forgin Nazi sympaTHIGHzer. Yep, Frankie Poo’s a tribe member, even went all né on his Goldberg name to make it in del biz. No shame in that, I mean would you really rock out that hard to Rush if Geddy Lee had kept his last name as Weinrib (btw, interesting fact, his parents were Holocaust survivors)? Didn’t spinx so you friggles Nazi masturbators!! Anywho, Sketches doesn’t take us deep into the deepest annals of his anal canal or what is it that really makes FG the king of playground, as I thought it might, and that’s kinda a shame. It’s more of a conversational piece, intertwined with a tour of his babies all across the globe. I think it woulda played out differently, and perhaps a lil more in depth, had it not been directed by his good friend Sydney Pollack, who’s making his debut here as a documentarian. I mean, do I really need to see footage of SP sitting in his office as FG pieces together his next project with silver-coated construction paper like he was a kindergartener? Short answer: no. Regardless, Gehry’s works are fascinating and it’s worth the peepage, but methinks Gehry is not so fascinating. Sometimes when an artist’s true identity remains a mystery, it make the art that much better. Le Corbusier anyone? Yeah, click that you Nazi link molester, cause you have no idea what the spiggs I is talkin bout, and sometimes, neither do I.

Recommended for those who like: things that are erected, Julian Schnabel dressed as the Dude, and the opinions of Mike Ovitz

Possible Porno Name: Sketchy Frank Gehry & His Trenchcoat of Hairy Sirprizes

Unsatisfied with this? Be like me and add ‘visit the Gugg in Bilbao‘ to yer list of places to go b4 ya die

Apt MPupil3: ‘Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect’ by The Decemberists [d] AND the ‘Bob The Builder Theme’ [d]

IMDb Sweeney: the only other non-Disney flick that Michael Eisner appeared in was sum-tang called Junket Whore

TFF Thighspotting: Mr Three Days of the Condor himself, Syd Pollack, who I already had the pleasure of personally meeting earlier this year (you could say we’re BFFs)

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): not all docs are created breast in showedly, so Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Guns N’ Roses
Hammerstein Ballroom
May 15th, 2006

In today’s world where Queen, INXS, the Cars, and the Doors tour without their centerpiece vocalists, it’s quite welcoming to see a band tour with the opposite DNA, aka, its original singer in tact, sans the supporting playas. Don’t spank me wrong, I love Slash and Duff McKegs like it was nobody’s bidness (it isn’t your bidness), but would I ever care to see a Velvet Revolver show juss cause they is members? Like Mr Poon and sugar in the same room, no never, never! And thus, whatever the cosmetics of Guns N Roses is today doesn’t make one bit o honey or difference to mes as shlong as Axl W Rose is involved (think our generation’s kinda sorta post-Waters Pink Floyd). Last nite, for 2 and 1/2 hiz-ours, I partied like it was 1992, and I rocked more than Iraned and although the faces may have changed, the song effin remained the same. Read: franzforkintastic!!! Bless you AWR (even if you love yerself more than I love myself) and co, who did quite an admirable job filling in the huge empty shoes… although I don’t understand why they didn’t play ‘Don’t Cry’ [d], which is by far, the bestest GNR song in their arsenal asshole. It’s waz almost a bigger let down then when i saw Duran² for the second time and they din’t play ‘Hungry Like The Wolf’. But after all’s said and Warrick Dunn, last nite’s show was probably the best $75 I’ve spent in a long arsed time, besides that 80s Astros jersey thats soon coming to my door. Here’s a rundown of what I got for my two cents (times 3,750):

Lizadies on guy’s shoulders: 8+
Hot arsed honey rockin out on the third-level balcony: 1
Songs I thought were called ‘Chinese Democracy’ cause I didn’t know em: 4+
Pointless solos not involving Axl: 5+
Brazilian flags: 1
Hexplosions: 6+
Sebastian Bach duets: 1
References to Izzy Stradlin: 2
Amount of Mythos beers downed before hand: 1
Random run-in with one of the flyest girls I knew in college: 1
Metallica/GNR ’92 tour shirts: 2+
Bo Derek cornrow impersonators: 1 (Axl and that dreadful hair that no white person should be allowed to sport)
Exposed boobs: ZIPPO… BOO-URNS!!
Times I was wondering what Miles Papazian was up to: 3814866267

[scoop de ville vis SCWP]

Keane, aka the UK’s truly bestest wanker musiq band around, are dropping a new album next month, but butter yet, dropping by the grand ole US of A around the same time for a handful of dates. Here be del info:

June 20 – San Francisco, Great American Music Hall. Presale from 10am on May 16 from www.virtuous.com. Full onsale from 10am on May 21 from www.tickets.com

June 21 – Los Angeles, Henry Fonda Theatre. Presale from 10am on May 16 through www.rag-and-bone-com. Full onsale from 10am on May 20 from www.ticketweb.com

June 23 – New York, Bowery Ballroom (!!!). Presale from 1pm on May 16 from www.rag-and-bone-com. Full onsale from 10am on May 19 from www.ticketweb.com

June 24 – Boston, Axis. Presale from 1pm on May 16 from www.rag-and-bone-com. Full onsale from 10am on May 19 from www.ticketmaster.com

June 27 – Chicago, Metro. Presale from 12noon on May 16 from www.rag-and-bone.com. Full onsale from 12noon on May 20 from www.ticketmaster.com

‘Is It Any Wonder’ [d]
from Under the Iron Sea [pre-order]

ABC AXES
INVASION

THIGHMASTER
VOWS VENGEANCE
and
VOWS TO EAT COWS

BUT WILL THE CW
SAVE THE DAY?

and flubs course, this can only mean one thing…

How dare they do what they do did. One of televenison’s mos bestest and underappreciated shows will go the way of Drexell’s Class, the one year wonder rubbish bin, after the season/series finale airs this Thursday. SHAME SHAME SHAMUS!!! This show was groundbreaking, earthshattering, neptuneshattering, uranusshattering, like a giant dildo in yer anus!! I cannot recall one single program in the history of the we-tube that had a dude with a perma-5 o’lock shadow with a hot-ass brunette wife and an even hottier-arsed blond ex-wife with a girl that looks like a monkey who showed Bill Murray her b-day suit [NSFW] with a dude with a 9-head with a kid who looks like Jack White as a kid with a guy who could totally pass for a Mog in certain circles.

Guns n’ Roses bloom again in the 1st 2 outta 4 NYC showz. I regretfully missed the Metallica/GNR tour back in the ’92, so I’m trying to make up for it by going to the bastardization version 2nite at Hammerstein. I’ll be sure to bring a pillow, since Axl probably won’t show up til 3am…. when KLF usually rocks us [vid]. Bi they gay, I’d never heard of this song b4, but I’m total cereal lovin KLF’s ‘Doctorin’ The Tardis’ [vid | d]

Initial VV Siren Fest line-up announced. Even if Jesus was playing with Hedrix AND Moses and wit Matt Sorum on drums, I’d still spend my entire day smokin doobies on the Wonder-Wheel, hittin up the battling cages, and digesting anything with bacon at indigestion land

Dude, Mandy Moore grows super fly by the minute rice AND she likes Jewish boys with good senses of humors! I know she’s talking about Zack Boo, but I think she’s secretly fingering herself in my image. Or at least that’s what my 4th personality told me.

Anderson Coops goes 420, but not that 420. When will he break out his Nash board and go all 720° on us? And why the spigs do 60 Mins keep adding correspondents? They shoulda kept 60 Mins 2 for all the 2nd rate scrubs they have on board. Speaking of, where the jim fassel has Steve Hartman and his jerkassedness been?

[MFH]
The lean, and now the wink? WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?! Hopefully it involves a lot of bending over and women

Optimus Prime time

I’m sure you didn’t see it in del previous post, cause yer sick of reading movie reviews, but… Corey Haim movie trailers

‘Chanukah’s da Bomb’ [vid] by Alan Dershowitz‘ mos flavorite band that’s appearing on the Kidzapalooza stage at Lollapalooza, Chutzpah

I know this is like 17 years too late, but I forgot how slow Martika’s ‘Toy Soldiers’ [vid|d] waz, after many a repeated thighpod listenings to Eminem’s version [d]. Howevs, I will never forgot the last trioing of powerhouse actors Wil Wheaton, Keith Coogan, and Samwise

Strangers With Candy: The Music

They say heavan is place on earth, but this shiz below is outta this world, as well as control. So much so, that I wish I could borrow dem wheels for 12 minutes and have me a 5some with Falkor/Mischa and Sasha/Childlike P in the back of this baby!!

[mo snaps vis Chaoss]
Save Buddy’s buddies

CelebFavorites.com, cause everyone really needs to know which Thomas Edison Museum Brittany Murphy frequents

The Deal Or Now Deal models

You Say Toby, I Say Tobey

Lily Allen’s mos bored fan, in VIDEO FORM!

One Love, Stay Puft

Moustache May [Precogz]

Super Ma
rio 1, now with 100% more Bullet Bill! [Go! Rilla]

для тех, кто не был в Воронеже, выкладываю шесть фото меня в составе косплей-группы по Samurai Champloo

‘Hail to the Chief’ played on the hands [Dat Nguyen]

Enema Recipes [Denver Bronchitis]

And if it was possible for two fictional men to have a child, I’d select President Logan and Miles Papazian to be the true My Two Dads. Hell, I love Miles and his last name so much, I’ll father the effin anti-Christ child!