Thighs Wide Shut

GO BOTS!

Once In A Lifetime
Soccer To Me!
Trailer
US Release Date – July 7th, thru Miramax/ESPN

Much like the Jonestown doc, ever since I was a kid and ogled for hours at the Washington Dips pennant hangin in my bro’s room, I’ve been waitin for someone to examine the rise and fall of the North American Soccer League (NASL). If my luck keeps up, I’m sure someone will soon release a doc on the fall and fall of Nickelodeon’s Hey Dude. Although the focus in Once is all about a handful of rich media types luring Pelé and other world futbol luminaries to bring their shaz and pizzaz to the dismal and unknown NY Cosmos squad, it’s really about the rebirth, or truly the birth of soccer in America. Before P-daddy and co exploded on our scene, soccer was about as low on the American sports’ totem pole as say, archery and things involving shuttlecocks. But even though the league ultimately collapsed for numerous reasons, hexplored in the film, the sport was able to dig its feet in our ground and has continued to reach for the stars. How many of you reading this weren’t involved in youth soccer? You can praise/blame Pelé for that! I don’t cause it’s MSI all the way baby!! This doc totally KICKS a$$ and will SCORE with any audience, even if they isn’t a fan of soccer, futbol, or the human race. And would you eggspect anything less from the director of the seminal ’90s Britpop doc Live Forever and the producer of my balls time flavorite doc One Day In September (big sirprize there, eh?). What if I told you the Flamingo Kid was narrating it? Or if I told you that it captures the manic ’77 NYC summer more effectively than Spike Lee’s poo on a sitck Summer of Sam? Man, ’77 was quite a year, wanznit? Star Wars, the death of Elvis, and the birth of yers drooly. I think we should restart the calendar from that point, so we’d currently be living in 28 ATMIC (After Thigh Master’s Immaculate Contraception)

Recommended for those who like: ABC’s Wide World of Sports [vid], Randall’s Island, and that les bestest Warner Bros logo from the 70s

Possible Porno Name: Once In Your Wife’s Bum

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix one of my other all thyme flav docs, and one that 90% effin fresh, yo, The Kid Stays In The Picture [trailer]

Apt MPupil3: ‘Once In A Lifetime’ by The Talking Heads [d] or ‘Ole Ole Ole’ [d]

IMDb Sweeney: Including this, there are 8 movies with the title Once In A Lifetime AND the Atlantic Records producer that Booger portrayed in Ray also served as the VP and Prez of the Cosmos!

How’d That Work Out For Ya?: the rebirth of the Cosmos as an MLS club

TFF Thighspotting: Judah Friedlander (aka Toby), who boviously the world’s #1 Cosmos fan

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): mos DEF BREAST IN SHOW!!!

spank the lord
Tribeca reviews
are Nora Dunnski
now back to yer regularly
scheduled masturbation

I stephen stills can’t beeleave ABC turned down my offer to cover all the production costs for a second season. I guess they weren’t too keane on my ideas for new characters, like Sio Bibble as the town’s new Supreme Vice Chancellor Assistant to Darth Plagueis

The full line-up has frynally been announced for Central Park’s Summerstage. No big sirprizes, cause I knows you read the BV, but how outta leftfield is the Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians reunion show? I guess Paul Simon put his wife back to work in order to pay off the debts from the Capeman debacle, eh? Anywho, EB and the New Bs are not only reuniting, but dropping a new album on July 25th! Listenage to their new track ‘Wear You Down’ [d]

Reason #1 to hit up Lebowski Fest Austin this weekend: personal appearance of Big Lew Abernathy, one of the inspirations for the Walter Sobchak

50 bucks will get ya into an early screening of the Strangers With Candy movie, and possibly into the pants of some gaylords

Didn’t realize Axl loved Misshapes THAT much

Bestest ep of Amazing Stories? Me spanx not. Dat honor blackman belongs to the Saving Private Ryanesque episode ‘No Day at the Beach’

Breastest post-1983 Star Wars tee of balls thyme

Wonder if these heads of state give great head, or juss headache?

I’d almost rather watch Jiminy Glick in Lalawood 7 times over than see Click fo free

I can’t finger out what’s so humorous about this

Blessed be the person who was intersleuthing ‘Rock Down To Electric Boogaloo’

Dispelling that Mentos/exploding Pepsi rumor that no one’s ever had a reason to spell-dis

NSFWNSFWNSFWNSFW

and

[plenty mo]

+
Brazilian Girls
Gomez
Stars
Wolf Parade
Sparklehorse
Paolo Nutini
Nada Surf
Los Amigos Invisibles
Feist
Phoenix
KT Tunstall
Goldfrapp
Donavon Frankenreiter
Oliver Mtukudzi & Black Spirits
Asleep at the Wheel
Buckwheat Zydeco
Husky Rescue
Jimmie Dale Gilmore
The Subdudes
BoDeans
The Greencards
Guy Clark
Kathleen Edwards
The Long Winters
The Stills
Charlie Sexton
Alexi Murdoch
Pierre Guimard
Matt Costa
Matt Nathanson
Okkervil River
Ted Leo/Pharmacists
Sparta
Benevento Russo Duo
Randy Rogers Band
Federico Aubele
What Made Milwaukee Famous
Jose Gonzalez
Ian McLagan and The Bump Band
New Monsoon
Del Castillo
Fields
Lou Ann Barton
Beto and the Fairlanes
I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness.
Centro-matic
Marah
Sam Roberts
Rocky Votolato
Murder by Death
The Black Angels
Anathallo
The Rocket Summer
Sara Hickman
Sylvia St. James and The Gospel Stars
Terri Hendrix
Trish Murphy
Patrice Pike
The Durdens
The Jones Family Singers
Sterling Lands and THE WARRIOR GOSPEL BAND
Joe McDermott and the Smart Little Creatures
The Biscuit Brothers
Imagination Movers
Elvis Perkins
The New Soul Invaders
South Austin Jug Band
Greyhounds
Star Kids Yoga
Joy Davis
Daniella Cotton
Troy Campbell Band
The Palm Elementary School Choir
Asheba
The White Ghost Shivers
The Gospel Silvertones
The Anointed Voicez
Ghandaia
Melissa Reaves
Claire Small
Eli Young Band
Rodney Hayden
Robyn Ludwick
Peter Dawson

Zeptember 15-17
Austin, Tejas

kinda meh
if u ask me
and thus
Lolla is still the breast US fest of the summer

Charlatans UK
Webster Hall
May 16th, 2006

I realized that the next concert I went to wasn’t gonna live up to the madness that was the GnR show, but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz to the ^Zdegree??? What the fork gives???? After being bedazzled by them at Coachella ’02, I never thought for a minute that I’d have more fun comparaison shopping for a BeDazzler than be czeching out the Charls live in the ’06. I guess one of the main issues at the not even close to being sold out show was that no one knew the new material, and when they played it, it didn’t sound like something I really wanted to get to know. The follow-up to their über-brills 9/11/01 released Wonderland wasn’t ever made available for the US buying public. And their new jounks, which was juss released, doesn’t even cum glenn close to packing the punch of W-land, or Glass Joe for that splatter. And what kinda concert headliner doesn’t sell shirts at their own shows? That shoulda been an omen right then and there to leave, although I did hold out long enuff to hear ‘The Only One I Know’. To sum-up, Boooooooo-oring!!! So boournish, that me and Megbot started playing dots for 1/2 hour. I wish I was joking, or Joe King, but I isn’t. You can play dots online or print out the image below. It’ll be the mos fun you’ll have until you hear about what I did to your mother last nite!