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Catching UpWith Ethan's Sister

Lily Allen fever never ends!
And thanks to recent hotness of MusicLikeDirt
We haven’t missed a beat

like these snaps from LA’s performance last week


that not only make me wanna eat Alpha-Bits
but listen to the Who’s ‘Pictures of Lilly’ [vid]

+ her 2nd fly-arsed mixtape mp3 [d]
+ her album Alright Still that’s already avail for UK pre-order
(for once it sux to be a bloody Yank)
+ even more snapplages!!

like this one from The OBVServer


Even dough it was included in da mix tape #2, does anyone know where we can get our thighly lil hands on an isolated versh of her cover of the Kaiser Chief’s ‘Oh My Gawd’? I will pay in dozens of Popeyes biscuits

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Reading Rainbows& Beating Rain Hos


I’ll marry the first girl I see sportin this

Belated peace the fork out Senator/Comedian Lloyd Bentsen

Music to my ears/fears: a new Body Count CD, coming this summer, yo

Chloe moonlights, and still manages that Willie McGee somebody farted face look

Could this ragamuffin knock the GeeBees off the top spot of UK’s singles chart? Maybe so, but it won’t stop the Barks from rackin up a £10,248.23 bar tab in less than 2 hours

Apparently it’s safe to make 9/11ish jokes: Passengers Bravely Take Down Plane Showing Big Momma’s House 2

The longest Gregory Itzin/ex-Prez Logan article you’ll ever care to read

The Couch Slouch has some out-of-the-box choices for the next NFL commissioner

Mr Skin Exposed [Mr 4 Hires Root Beer]

Virginie Ledoyen, alive, and still hot, and sadly, still French

The AMMI’s gots a cheaper and less gay screening of the Strangers With Candy movie, avec Amy Sedaris and Paul Dinello in person, but they may not be in character, although they’re both characters, with a lot of character [The Henry Scollins Band]

If life gives you kidney stones, make lemonade, or according to my myspace space page page, rent Leonard Part 6

SAVE THE ORKIN MAN!

Free Scanner Darkly/Winona animated porn passes

(not so) FASCINATING FACT 1539

Google FightBOO!! [Cruisespanko]

Super Mario Brothers On Ice, with Mr. Belvedere as King Koopa, and an introduction from Jason Bateman and Alyssa Milano

And please, parents, don’t let yer kids grow up to be bukkake lovers [SFW vis Germanic J]

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May I Touch Your Hraam?

Borat really loves Cannes
unlike this guy, who hates em

[more (some NSFW) cans action on the Fiddle]

+ more on the Borat movie [Pakula Shaker]

+ more Mora

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Yo! The Show of Rushy Bums

Public Enemy, Ice-T, and the Thinker himself
B.B. King’s Blues Club & Grill
5/7/05


[snap not from show vis AHH]

I was prepared for hilarity. Truly. I could not imagine anything funnier than seeing Ice-T and Public Enemy in the same night. But, walking down to BB King’s I began to feel frightened. I had set myself up for a letdown. There was no chance this show would be as funny as I had hoped.

I was Wrong.

Thank Hashem for Ice-T!

As me and my man Drew from Idaho approached BB’’s there was a bit of a commotion. As we got closer we saw the Iceberg himself stepping out of his limo surrounded by cameras and mics. Once he was done his crew got out and followed him inside. His crew: About 10 kids who looked like they just raided Ja Rule’s closet. Interesting.

Once they were out of the way we decided to hang outside for a bit and we were truly blessed. Flav and entourage were rolling down 42nd street. No limo. Not even a taxi. My man just rolled up.

And the teenage girls went wild! I’ve never seen anything like it. While us old people have been sleeping, Flav became a superstar of the reality TV set. So for every guy singing ‘911 is a Joke’, there were 15 15-year-old girls screaming and hugging and posing for pictures with Flav.

Amazing.

Now for the show…

As it turns out, all of us in the crowd were part of a little social experiment. What happens when a bunch of NYC prep school kids perform there pathetic raps for a crowd of 500 people who paid $25 to hear a night of very angry music?

Ice rolls out on stage and immediately reminds us that even though he is on TV ‘I’m still Ice MUTHAFUCKIN T!

Then he moves on to perform 3 new songs. NEW SONGS!?!?!??!?! This was part 1 in Ice’s entry into the pathetic hall of fame. After letting us know that he can tell if someone isn’t real because ‘I act, so I know what an actor looks like‘, Ice dropped perhaps his most prophetic verse: ‘if we’d just get rid of this poverty disease, I’d be rappin’ about birds and trees.’

Poetry in motion folks.

Once his sad, sad, 3 song display is over Ice drops the bomb. As it turns out he’s been working on taking Flav’s spot at the top of the reality TV charts. His new show: Ice-T’s Rap School. It seems Ice spent 6 weeks with a group of students from the York Prep School in Manhattan (I think I had a few friends go there… after they got kicked out of my high school… but I digress). Ice taught these kids to rap, break and DJ. And now, 6 weeks later, they were going to perform their act for us.

SAY WHAT?!?!?!?!

This was not going to be good.

Ice let us know that all the families of these kidlets were in the house… we gave them a cheer. Then DJ somthingorother came out and scratched the same beat for 4 minutes. At first we were encouraging, once it kept going, we began to BOOOOOO. But it wasn’t to end there.

Once the DJ got booed off the stage, the YPC (York Prep Crew) rolled out in all their glory. They were worse than a middle school choir. The crowd was supportive though, until the freestyle session.

FREESTYLE SESSION!?!?!?!?

Oh hell no. The kid was unintelligible and looked like some cross between License to Ill Mike D and Corey Feldman. And he must have said something to the people in the front, cause they started to BOOOOOO like the Redskins were in town. And then it happened. The funniest thing I have ever seen.

Ice rushed the stage and grabbed the mic. It was time for us to get a life lesson, Ice MUTHAFUCKIN T style!

If they’s kids, or somebody’s mother in the room, yall show some MUTHAFUCKIN respect! Some of you don’t have no MUTHAFUCKIN class! …You can SUCK MY DICK!

Man. Sure put me in my place.

Of course the show was not over then. We still got to see PE! Ice brought them on to stage and, introducing Chuck-D to us he said ‘I love this brother like he’s my brother.

Nice.

Now I’m going to save you some time and give you the lowdown on PE’s performance from Zach, the king of Wooijip:

Before PE took the state, everyone had their fist in the air Malcolm X-style in solidarity of the PE ‘Power to the People’ creed. The show kicked off with ‘Welcome to the Terradome’, to get the crowd amped up. They had a mix of classics and newer songs, intermixed with Chuck D’s political rants and Flavor Flav’s promotion for his VH1 show Flavor of Love. The last song before the encore was ‘Fight the Power’, extended for about 20 minutes in an epic jam. The encore was ‘She Watches Channel Zero’, followed by Flavor Flav playing a drum solo and then all the other musicians having their chance at soloing (including ‘Purple Haze’ by the guitarist). Flava then took his turn on the bass guitar. He also tried some crowd surfing ( I saw him give his chain, cell phone and other blingage to the back-up rapper before diving) and interacted with the crowd a lot (including shaking the hand of yours truly).

Some other highlights:

Instead of Terminator X, they had DJ Lord on the tables. Flav still called him Terminator 6 times.

Yo Flav, I’m gonna bring some memories to your memory.‘ – Chuck D

During the song ‘Fuck George Bush’ (the chorus was ‘Fuck George Bush, Fuck Dick Cheney‘) Flav says: ‘And that lying mother fucker from Australia… John Howard… Fuck his ass too!

Jail, lockdown, that’s some fucked up weak shit.‘– Chuck D

Amazing.

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Giving New Meaning To The Term ‘Disaster Movie’

Poseidon
Can You Say BOOseidon? How Bout Das BOO?
Trailers

My biggest fault with Titanic is that there’s way too much character development (read: too much Billy Zane) and the ship’s sinking occurs weigh too late in the film for my interest to be piqued, unlike when I get interested in a thick booger I pique outta my nose. So when I see a disaster flick deez days, I want the character development sprayed with Windex and thrown out the winda and the action to begin ASAPjackson. Well, I guess I’ll have to retract that statement as Poseidon does juss that, and sucks deeper than a J Edgar Hoover vaac all over Edward’s Penishands [NSFW, shlOBVSng!]. The writing was all over the wall-rus on dis one. And what’s that writing? Co-starring zzzz-inducing Emmy Rossum. Outside of gettin whacked in the highly overrated Mystic River Pizza, she’s starred in more dreck (although Day After Tomorrow is her disaster Citizen Kane) than the future straight-to-video releases of Shrek V – XXVMILX (and oh, don’t you worry, when Mike Myers and whateverhernameis calls it quits, that shit will fly off the shelves like the flies of the boy’s in the girl’s bathroom/the meadow in Miss Lucy’s clap-a-thon that every 4th grade girl you knew knew). Shame on you Wolfgang Petersen!! You direct two eggsalad water-logged-pre-blog flicks, Das Boot and The Perfect Storm, and u eggspect the charm to work a third time? More like TERD time you Wolfgang PUCK SUCKS!! Grow some balls and try something else, eh? Or at least stop molesting Barret Oliver, yer Die Unendliche Geschichte aka The Neverending Story wunderkind!

Recommended for those who like: the world’s wurstest child actor, Lars Schlichting‘s roomie, and White Flint’s elevators

Possible Porno Name: Ho Slides Her Hand In My Calvins

Unsatisfied with this? Although I missed it when it was on, Netflix TV’s The Poseidon Adventure [trailers], cause anything that combines the wit of Mahoney, the gut of Robocop, and reunites the two principle Hitcher actors has got to be mo entertaining that this

Apt MPupil3: ‘Tricky Wipeout’ by Run DMC vs The Surfaris [d]

IMDb Sweeney: Jack Baur was the casting director for the original versh. Word booty has it that after he mcnabbed the (sorta) cast of a lifetime, he kim RAVERed til dawn

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous

The Only Thing That Wasn’t An Eyesore: Mía Maestro

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