Thighs Wide Shut

Tings Dat Make Me Nipples Perk

The news I’ve been waiting for since February 17, 2004: a new album in the ’07 by the band that begat Stereogum’s namesake

The Borat teaser trailer ‘officially’ hits the interwebs, for those who missed out on the shitty YouTube vershes floatin around

The Violent Femmes being added to Lolla’s line-up, which hopefully will spark a ‘Gone Daddy Gone’ a-thon, with Gnarls Barkley, who be also playin that tweakend. Choose yer flava: vanilla [d] o chocolate [d]. Bi the gay, almost a month away, and they already have the set times for every act!!

Al Cabino‘s relentless pursuit to get Nike to peddle Marty McFly’s B2TF2‘s shoes

The hottiest real Jew [NSFW] and the hottiest fake Jew un-jew it up

Ice-T’s Body Count‘s new’s and’s ‘final’s’s album’s includes’ a song called ‘F**k the Cops’. Does that mean that there’s a strong pastability that another track may be called ‘KFC Bitch’? Have fun with them this summer you zany Europeans

Mentioning many moons ago about a long lost ultra cutie from my Julius West middle school daze, who I and everyone else had a crush on, and then having her magically resurface thru Uncle Buck’s House o’ Fun… ironically wearing a Crush tee. Who said GWBush’s inventions was useless?

Lily Allen’s new websight gets the suppes (with nuttin that already couldn’t be found on her myspace page), includin nicked fotos from Dirty Music

t.A.T.u. hit out shores with their friend or faux schtick, kinduv

Free Miami Vice passes

Jack Bauer to fight bagelsmiths and pizzamakers AND the return of the It Man

The dude with the fish eyes and the 18-head sticks with TV [JJ]

Aubrey’s Thread

‘Singing For England’ [PopBitch]

The Silent Library [Mama Kass-hole]

The 5-Second Rule ruling [MasterWani]

And Whatevs & Stereoguts gettin mad propers from Entertainment Weak-Lee

Tings Dat Make Me Nipples Irk

Whatevs gettin mad propers from Entertainment Weak-Lee, but havin them cut Thighs Wide Shut from his list of personal favs. Don’t fret ma, Latin Inches said they’d publish his whole list!

Hermione Granger gettin more (jailbait) love than Ginny Weasley

Michael Jackson and his Methods and Means for Creating Anti Gravity Illusion [Pakula Shaker]

The Frat Pack Tribute

The lawnmower boy meetin Her Former Royal Thighness the VI Warshawski‘s rents

Anything involving Orlando Bloom, who went and did something with someone almost as boring as himself

The New York Mets fan celebration song, ‘Our Team. Our Time’ [The Thinker]

Microwaved tunafish

Human muppets [UNKLE]

What San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker did in 1978, thus ruining it for the res
t of us

The Lyrebird [Menyinc]

Ken Jennings’s blog

Waldo

That dang ceiling cat

And how I never willed what AT&T said I will

At this very moment, the Mexicans and the Portuguese are facing off to determine once and for all which is the greatest country on earth!

Look dudes and Doo-Dad eaters, she’s been missing for over a year, and although disappearing in the land where Sidney Ponson punched a judge isn’t all that funny, when yer an American in a very VERY strange land, for one killah hills-arsed wedding (YOU GO SPEX!!), you crack jokes at what you know best, or in this case, least. + anyone who’s Joran Andreas Petrus van der Slootin knows she’s old news, cause Nicholas Raymond Gochnour is the new pink! Eesh, I’m off to a bad start here, but hey, I’m already goin to a hell that I don’t bee leave in, and this is a warning for you future parents that will sire kids who want to have fun. You should listen to Weird Al and have kids who juss wanna have brunch. Btw, it’s always bestester to replace the lyrics ‘Just a wanna’ wit ‘Botswana’. Trust me. I know African funny. If not, fork u in yer mother’s Djibouti which I shaved last nite with a Brillo pad. Anywho, without further Freddy Adu…

I will find you Natalee
and all the extras ‘e’s in yer nameee

but first a bit of double fisting
drinks style
and then
anal stossel

How do the Arubianz keep Natalee outta the news?

they build elevators!!

Who the hell is this?

either our chief suspect
or the chief inspector
in charge of the case
(which would explain a lot)

If you smoke as much dope as Stacy Keach
in Cheech & Chong’s Nice Dream

you’ll either turn into a lizard like him
or think that that vegetable is actually part of Nat’s ankle

Everyone knows El Gaucho is the place to go for meat

& everyone knows that El Gaucho finds his meat
on the same beaches where the locals dump bodies!

Did you hear about NBC’s new Law & Order: ATV show?

neither did Natalee
or Dolly Parton
when she bought a new pair of shoes

Are these Dutchers celebratin the victory over Côte d’Ivoire?
or the death of another American?

who cares, cause they all sell weed
and have the finest pannekoeken on earth
and have names like Chevy van Damn vandy Kamps
and have the finestist ovens under the covers!

How can all white women avoid gettin all disappeared?

pull a Thighs no-no & go all cornrow

I’m never going to find her
if people keep shitting in my mouth

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
corn poopie!!

and off the record:
How come when I think of paradise
I think of the least paradisical thing possible

Phil Collins
[d]

Previously on The OC
+ Ire Straits
+ 24 Hour Party People

plus a bonus pic from the set of Miami Vice

that u can beatoff to
I know I did

† thumcredible sunset photos kurt ta c of jules verne is the mannes
†† sorry if this posting offended anyone, hispecially fans of Chris de Burgh