Thighs Wide Shut

Peace The Fork Out
to
the slickest
father of The Omen nanny
who could do
one-armed push-ups AND win Oscars
sell antifreeze
like it was nobody’s bidness
and drink ‘n yell solo
better than Han
Volodymyr ‘Walter Jack Palance’ Palahniuk

1919 – 2006

also PTFO to Gerald Levert, Shea ‘Ghetto’ Stadium, and to the Redskins season (now you know why I didnt make mention of that FLUKE last Sunday), UNLESS they make the right move and start Jason Campbell, which I’ve been basically callin for since week 2!!

and 60 Minutes does Ed Bradley proper, includin Andy Rooney

and to turn them frowns upside down, like wees was Lionel Kiddie City (where I once was caught stealing 90210 trading cards from)…

in honor of Borat’s 2nd week as king of the box office, despite several lawsuits, and the auctioning of the Back To The Future II hoverboard, here lies Borat’s, by far, mos memorable appearance on US television: learning how to make a bed with Martha Stewart

Wagamama Boston Opening Spring 2007

and if that wasn’t enuff for ya, get yer own uncut copy of Little Superstar: The Movie, or whatever tis called!

spank yous HotBoxPizzaFan#1, Chillary G, TMZ, and Ben Silverbreakdancin Machine

Peace The Fork Out
to
the smoothest man
in TV journalism
Edward R Bradley Jr

1941 – 2006

Ed interviews
•Michael Jackson
•Howard Stern
•Michael Jordan
•gets interviewed for a change

mo snaps with Jimmy Buffett

Ed’s earring earns Jump The Shark votes

no relation to
Bill Bradley
Brad Ed Lee
Bradlees
Milton Bradley
and/or Milton Bradley

Little Children
A Field Day
Trailer

Tis so fitting that actor turned director Todd Field probably made his mos memorable screen appearance as piano man Nick Nightingale in Kubrick’s final work, Eyes Wide Shut. His directorial debut In The Bedroom not only reeks of brilliance and updog, but of Kubrick himself. Like Stan The Man, Field has a great sense of film pacing, in a way that it leaves the viewer constantly unsettled, yet glued to their seats. But unlike Kubes, Field works more in the mundane and not the spectacle, yet he somehow turns the mundane into a spectacle. And with his second feature, Little Children, Field continues to show why he should be considered one of the America’s brightest talents (hispecially since Sofia Coppola’s star is on the verge of losing its luminance).

Children‘s mundane tale, spelled out by a continuous sardonic voice over by Fronline‘s Will Lyman, deals with the affair between an unhappy housewife and an unhappy househusband. The usual spouse-cheating events are thrown up on the screen (and yes, since Kate Winslet is in it, there’s a 98% chance she will show her boobs… and yes, she does), but it’s the extra curricular activities filling up the rest of the picture, like that of the juss released from prison pedophile (Kelly Leak/Jackie Earle Haley) adjusting to a community that fears him, that is the ticket, and that is what sets this one apart from the rest of the by the numbers infidelity films that come out year after year. In a bustanutshell, you won’t feel cheated by this cheating

Unsatisfied with this?: Netflix Unfaithful [trailer]

Possible Porno Name: Little Children of the Porn

Entertainment Meekly: the mag that I love to hate, but cunt stop readin profiles Kelly Leak’s return to filmdom after being a cellar dweller for as long as the Bad News Bears were w/o Coach Morris Buttermaker

Apt MPupil3: ‘Running Scared‘ [d] by Roy Orbison

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show

until next thyme, the balcony is clothed…