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Alfie-dersehen

05. Feb, 2007 0 Comments

& the wurstest Mick Jagger
thang mt everest

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Bartman Returns

05. Feb, 2007 0 Comments

They had about as much lachance of winning as Michael Irvin Art Monk does of getting into the Football Hall of Fame (boo to the8th degree if you ask me)


Tits been fun football
Bye-bye, so long, farewell
Bye-bye, so long
See you in Zeptember [d]

until then, we await more Deep Thoughts, by Mike Vanderjagta$$•

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Girl Loses Gir lMeets Bo yMeets Another Girl Not So Meaty

02. Feb, 2007 0 Comments

Puccini for Beginners
Opera…tion Mediocre
Trailers & Mo

What’s got two thumbs and couldn’t really decide which way to point either of them after watching this movie? If you guessed me then yer biggest geniuseses since the creators of ‘Gold Case’! Puccini for Beginners, the simple tale of a not so simple dumped on lesbian turned experimental bisexual, is purty much Kissing Jessica Stein with a far better cast (Weed‘s always thumbcredible Justin Kirk, (sadly) with clothes on Gretchen Mol, and unlikely, yet winning lead Elizabeth Reaser). While both of these films are quite charming and place an importance on being earnest, they’re too much of a trifle to be considered required viewing. These kinds of movies are enjoyable to watch… if you happen to randomly watching Lifetime Television on a weekday afternoon… and also if they happen to star Tiffani (née Amber) Thiessen

Unsatisfied with this?: catch in theaters/Netflix Flannel Pajamas [Trailer & mo] which oddly enuff stars Puccini playas Cpt Kirk & Julianne Nicholson as lovers

Possible Porno Name: Poonanny For Beginners

Apt MPupil3: Blur’s ‘Girls & Boys‘ [d|vid]

Lets Be More Than Friends…ters!: Pucinni bit player and cutie patootie Bridget Moloney‘s Friendster page

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…•

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iColts Aint MaresSo We Fap To Bears!

01. Feb, 2007 0 Comments

•Mama Berenstain

Rebecca Cunningham

Borat’s Bear Oksana

The Female Care Bears

(good luck fingering out which ones aint female)

Sunni & Grammi Gummi

Beach Bear &
Baby Bear Choo-Choo

Pammy Panda

Floral & Maw Rugg

Cindy Bear

Snuggle

Princess Paw Paw

Tessie Bear

Bessie Beary

Huggy Bear’s Hookers

The Ultra Liz-ame Theme Song
from Kissyfur

Behrs/Bears Wit Crazy Hair!

Smokey The Bear’s Hairy Lapdances

Ditka’s Mustache Rides

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Thighs Wide Movies 2006

31. Jan, 2007 1 Comment

The Top Tenors
Plus 2 That Are Legit
& Don’t Need 2 Quit


1) The Devil & Daniel Johnston
2) Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple
3) Children of Men
4) Bubble
5) Sophie Scholl
6) Once In A Lifetime:
The Extraordinary Story of the New York Cosmos
7) 13 (Tzameti)
8) Flags of Our Fathers
9) Babel
10) Infamous
11) Only Human
12) The Notorious Bettie Page

G Sauce & Special Love goes out to Spike Lee’s When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts

3rd Annual
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards

They Coulda Been A Contender

Strangers With Candy
Running With Scissors
Marie Antoinette
Da Vinci Code
V for Vendetta
Inland Empire

Puilty Gleasures

The Quiet
When A Stranger Calls
Nanny McPhee
Scary Movie 4

Trailers Worth Tractoring

A Scanner Darkly
An Inconvenient Truth
Borat
Brick
Children of Men
The Departed
The Last King of Scotland
The Notorious Bettie Page
The Pursuit of Happyness
V for Vendetta

& the one tune that sold the movie

Jay-Z And Linkin Park’s ‘Numb/Encore’ [d]
from the Miami Vice trailer

& the one trailer mos not worth tractoring

Deck The Halls

Post Her
Post Me
Post Haste!

& the wurstest one

Mos Unwanted Genre

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40s/50s Los Angeles Flicks
which begat
Ben Affleck playin guitar & singin in Spanish
& Hillary Swank as vom inducing sex kitten

(F)unreleased

Colour Me Kubrick

Bestest Movies I Netflixed


Porn To Be Wild

The Road Into Laura San Giacomo’s Crotch
(The Road to Guantanamo)
Twatsi
(Tsotsi)
69 (All Sweaty)
(13 (Tzameti))
Akili Smith and Deez Nuts On His Tonsils
(Akeelah & The Bee)
The Notorious Bettie Page Loves B.I.G. C.O.C.K.
(The Notorious Bettie Page)
Holly Lands Wood
(Hollywoodland)
Jizzum Candy: A Cock and Balls Story
(Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story)
Why We Fist, starring Bill Frist
(Why We Fight)
Cuming On The Scissor Sisters
(Running With Scissors)
The Three Anal-Holes of Erik Estrada
(The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada)
Mini’s First Time
(Mini’s First Time)

Most Cpt Overlooked Performance

dude who played Tony Blair in The Queen

For Some Reason You Annoy Me So Go Away

Joseph Cross

Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award

Oren Skoog
Burn Gorman
London Bridges
Benedict Cumberbatch

Sorriest Eggscuse for
An Episode of 24
That Doesn’t Star Edgar
But Does Co-Star Sledgehammer!

The Sentinel

Mos Eggsalad Bjork Turns Into A Knife Slashin’ Whale Movie
That Was More Watchable
Than Inland Empire

Drawing Restraint 9

The Gus van Sant
Most Pretentious
Mos Overhyped Movie
For No Reason

Little Miss Snoozeshine

Welcome To The House, Dolls

Diora Baird

Sophia Myles

Julia Jentsch

Misty Dawn Wilkins

Ellen Page

Svetlana Metkina

Mía Maestro

Abbie Cornish

The Death to Smoochy Award
for Worstest Picture of the Year

Inland Empire
For Your Consideration
Lady In The Water
Poseidon
Pirates 2
Keeping Up With The Steins

Movies To Look For In The ‘007

Thank You For Cock Smoking
Full Nelson
Big Momma’s House of Pancakes
American Dreamz II: American Dreamzz
Akeelah and the C++
The Wicker Basket Man
Moses Camp
The Last King of Scottie’s Tissue
The Santa Clause 4: Clause Kinski
Lucky Number Slate
6 Fast, 6 Furious
•

Papa’s Pix

1) Water
2) Little Miss Sunshine
3) The Queen
4) The Departed
5) Notes on A Scandal
6) The Painted Veil
7) Borat
8) Little Children
9) Brick
10) The History Boys
11) Sweet Land
12) Jesus Camp
13) Catch the Fire

Honorable Mention
10 Items or Less
The Boynton Beach Bereavement Club
20 Centimeters
U-Carmen e-Khayelitsha


don’t forget to peep out our ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!

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