Thighs Wide Shut

Bill Cosby’s Dandie Dinmont dog Harry won Best In Breed, which should not be confused with Best Inbred, which was an award that lost its luster after royal familes stopped having sex with themselves

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The Dog & Max Devlin
Puddin’ Puppy
Leonard Dog 6
Mushmouth
Ghostdog
Theo
Rudy
Jiggler
Flizzle
Flazzle
Flazzum
Bizzle
Bazzle
Basil
Kenan Thompson Isn’t Funny, The Dog
&
Peabs

is eye right or is right or is I standing in front of that Frank Lloyd Wright house?

Lily Allen
Webster Hall
February 10th

What’s sweet, sassy, more brassy than Shirley Bassey, in a classy all her own, and a bit too gassy to stifle her Shepherd’s Pie burps? If you guessed Abigail Breslin or Abigail Adams then you seriously have more issues than a 11-year subscription to Highlights Magazine. And if you didn’t guess then you obviously knew that the the answer was none other than unclassifiable British wunderkind Lily Allen.

Despite the jitters and understandable stiffness that she displayed at her 1st show on American soil, I was still thoroughly impressed with her 30-minute showcase last October at the Hiro Ballroom, while others were mos certainly not. Well, by the end of her triumphant one hour show on Saturday at Webster Hall, which featured edward james almost every song on her US release, 3 brilliant covers (some might call her Not So Weird Alice Yankovic), and the darlin’ underheard ‘Absolutely Nothing’, everyone was in agreement that she’s the bees knees more than Rick Dees‘ nuts.

Lily rules and I’m not juss spraying that cause she came to Thighland for a lengthy chat, or winked at me when I saw her live on Friday’s TRL, or cause she smokes more fags than Ted Haggard did in the ’06, but cause she really does. She’s the mos entertaining solo female artist going. She’s so fantabulous that MTV and myself both agree on something of greatness for the first time since they picked The Smashing Pumpkins’ ‘Tonight, Tonight’ as the video of the year for 1996. And oh, if you didn’t know how yumstoppable Lily truly is then be sure to czech her out in the upcommin’ She-Hulk movie!

LDN / Nan, You’re a Window Shopper / Knock ‘Em Out / Shame For You / Littlest Things / Cheryl Tweedy / Everybody’s Changing (Keane cover) / Naive (Kooks cover) / Not Big / Absolutely Nothing / Everything’s Just Wonderful / Friend of Mine / Friday Night / Smile /ENCORE/ Blank Expression (Specials cover) / Alfie

Jon Scheyer gotta face that only his mother or Dukie V would love

Unconscious (Inconscientes)
A Waking Wife
Trailer

Unconscious is hands AND thighs down the finestest Spanish sex farce period piece comedy that will be released in theaters in 2007 (good luck to whichever is the second movie to fit that bill this year!). This film was released in it’s native country two years ago, and made the usual rounds on the festival circuit the following year, and is just now reaching our shores. Why the delay? I haven’t the slightest idea, but this mos delightful and delicious film about Freud, sexual taboos, and sweating your sister/brother-in-law will remind you that there are other talented filmmakers working in Spain that don’t happen to be named Almodóvar. Joaquín Oristrell is that director not named Almodóvar and he takes us on a non-stop rollercoaster ride of fun and funny as our two star crossed lovers-in-laws, the facial hair dynamo Luis Tosar (the drug king pin from Miami Vice) and IMO, the mos beautiful non-English speaking woman in the world Leonor Watling (one of the coma chicks in Almodóvar’s Talk To Her), examine sexual norms and abby normals as they try find Watling’s missing husband. Think Sex and The City, cept the city isn’t NYC, the women aren’t that annoying, and it doesn’t star a horse/genius

Unsatisfied with this?: Netflix our 11th mos flav pic from the ’06 Only Human [Trailer|TWS review] which was written and directed by the same husband-wife team that wrote Unconscious

Possible Porno Name: OnCuntLips

Apt MPupil3: the Beatles take on ‘Bésame Mucho‘ [d]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers + an extra Jeeper!

before we go, we long over dooley bid a doo-doo to the our longest reigning Royal Thighness (crowned a year ago today!) Camilla Belle Routh, as we say hola to our neuva pequeño amigo, whom we hinted Royal status at 1/2 a year ago, but have been once bitten forever smitten with for ages…

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…