Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, October 10

Seacrest & Lies

Happy-Go-Lucky
Lucky Charms
Trailers & Mo


When a Mike Leigh film is released, without question, you should go and see it. The man is incapable of bad filmmaking, and if you've seen anything he's made, we're sure you'll agree. If the titles Naked, Vera Drake, All or Nothing, Meantime, Topsy-Turvy or Secrets & Lies don't sound familiar, then you need to familiarize yo-self with them pronto tonto! They all are rich works that explore the banality of everyday (British working class) life, rife with both heartwarming and heartbreaking moments that are so genuine you'll have a hard time ever forgetting them. The same is mos definitely true with his latest, Happy-Go-Lucky, although it's more on the heartwarming than breaking side. Leigh knows how to assemble a top notch ensemble cast (he's like a British Altman or Woody Allen), and has the magic touch to bring out especially amazing performances from his leading ladies. He's put brilliant, yet relatively little known (at least stateside) veteran actresses Imelda Staunton, Brenda Blethyn and Marianne Jean-Baptiste on the map, by guiding them all to their first (and in some cases, maybe last) Best Acting Oscar nomination. It will probably happen a 4th time with Sally Hawkins (a Leigh regular player, and last seen as Colin Farrell's neurotic lady in Woody's Cassandra's Dream), the happy-go-lucky title gal, who has been rightly buzzed about as one of the five possible females gunnin for the top spot at the 2009 Academy Awards. Her performance as the appropriately nick-named Poppy is a pure revelation, even more so than what Anne Hathaway done did in Rachel Getting Married (it's common knowledge that Hath's a great actress, but we guess she needed to stop being cast as a princess for everyone to realize it). Nothing can drag the lovely Poppy down, eggcept when she sees bad things happening to the students she teaches (the more tender bits of the film). When her bike gets stolen, she treats the news with a shrug and then carries on with her footloose and fancy free day. Ms Sunshine has run-ins with negative Nancies all over town (including her beyond no-nonsense driving instructor Eddie Marsan, another uber-brills Leigh regular) and she tries her best to raise a smile outta them all. While it doesn't work 100% with the grumpy Guses onscreen, it will with everyone off-screen. A splendid time is guaranteed for all, and tonight, Mr Kite won't be topping the bill

Happy-Go Hunting: czech out Leigh's extensive shooting locations tour that he gave Time Out London. we will, as soon as we complete our life's goal of visiting the Clockwork Orange locales

Verdictgo: Breast In Show


Body of Lies
Body Ardor
Trailers & Mo


The fictional modern warfare flicks they be puttin in theaters these days that star terrorism as public enemy #1 have been more dud-ly than Dudley Do-Right doing lots of wrong. We'd almos rather be sent to Guantanamo than sit thru Traitor, Rendition, War, Inc. or You Don't Mess With The Zohan again. And that's what makes Body of Lies a lot more enjoyable than it actually is. It's nuttin but a generic espionage thriller that's elevated to popcorn pleaser-land by Ridley Scott's usual solid direction (it's no 1984 Apple commercial, but hey what is?), Leo DiCaprio's dedication to his role (he speaks Arabic! yet wanders around the Middle East undercover wearing a baseball cap in land where no one wears baseball caps!), and a heckulva lot of explosions across the globe (although Bret and Jemaine are the true Boom Kings). Russell Crowe's the other marquee name, but he doesn't really add much tat all, considering he's mostly phoning in his performance. And we don't juss mean that figuratively, since he's the pencil pushing CIA guy back in the states calling the shots via his blue-toothed cellphone. His lack of presence is made up by admirable supporting work by Mark Strong (also crazy good in RocknRolla), Simon McBurney ('that guy' with 'that voice' whom we love oh so much) and Leo's Muslim Florence Nightingale, Golshifteh Farahani. Yesh, there's a lil Old/New world romance between Leo and a nurse, and while it may feel out of place with the rest of what's going on, it makes a nice diversion to the diversion that we're already watching. The film reminded us a lot of the Robert Redford-Brad Pitt burner Spy Game, which was not so oddly enuff directed by Ridley's brother Tony. Come to sphinx of it, this fluffy-nutter movie may have been better off in his brother's hands. Probably would been a bit mo flashy and fun, like Man On Fire and Domino. Come to sphinx of it part II, we kinda heart Tony more than we do Ridley, and that aint no lies, cause we have a Body of THIGHS!

AKA-47: although named after the book of the same name by David Ignatius, there were some other working titles for the film, including Penetration. wonder why they didn't run with that one? and what, Going Under Covers wasn't ever an option?

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers


Go-Lucky opens in limited release today, while Lies and The Duchess expands to play at a theater new jews

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...


# Seacrest & Lies

Thursday, October 9

Knot In My Back Yard


anyone gotz $500,000 they could lend us? we wanna buy the Cowboys endzone from the soon to be departed Texas Stadium and take a dump on it every time we need to take a dump. although we'll pass on the other 'treats' that come with it like the photo op with Skeletor Jerry Jones and the tailgate party with the Cowboy Cheerleaders. nuttin against their sexy bods, but, as you may know, we're partial to squads with punny names like the Sea Gals, the Ben-Gals, the Saintsations and the Buffalo Jills. gawd bless the NFL. don't wanna even think of a Sunday without it

czech out all the other goodies found within
Neiman Marcus' Christmas Book

merry effin Yom Kippur and Kelly Kapoor to one and all!


# Knot In My Back Yard

Wednesday, October 8

Jim Mora The Same

RocknRolla
Guy Just Wants To Have Gun
Trailers & Mo


Guy Ritchie's personal and professional life of late hasn't been so rosy. There's the whole Madonna/A-Rod affair, yet that pales in comparison to the awfulness that was his psychologically inert film, Revolver, which took two years to even get a US release date... and will probably take two years for us to get rid of the headache that it gave us. Since becoming the heir to Tarantino by handing in the fab Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels in 1998 and even fabber Snatch two years later (has it really been that long?), Ritchie has gotsen swept away at his own British gangsta game by deliciously rich(-ie) films like Layer Cake (directed by his ye olde producer Matthew Vaughn) and this year's The Bank Job (starring his find Jason Statham). The question has been begged again and again (mostly by us), where have you gone Guy Ritchie? Question answered with RocknRolla (one of the dumbest film titles we've heard in awhile), which finds the director happily back in the (un)safe surroundings of London's underground (poor choice of words, cause we aint talking about the tube), filled with his usual witty and twitty gunmen, double dealing each other until the end credits. Since he's treading on common ground again, nRolla's not as fresh as Lock, Stock or as polished as Snatch, but it is mos certainly as fun as either of them, and we'll take that kinda repetitiveness over the kind Kevin Smith doles out over and over

This time the MacGuffin aint no shotgun or shiny diamond, but a prized painting from a Russian real estate mogul (Karel Roden) that goes missing after he lends it to a crime boss (Tom Wilkinson, whose cockney performance as Lenny Cole is worthy of being placed on Richie's Mt Rushmore alongside Brick Top and 'Hatchet' Harry) that he's doing bidness with. This sets off a series of events with everyone and their mother (and we mean everyone, from Gerard Butler, playing the Statham role, although not as well + solid turns from Mark Strong, Toby Kebbell, Jimi Mistry and even Ludacris and Jeremy Piven for the hell of it) looking for the piece of art, and trying to steal some cash from one another in the process. While you've seen it all before, Ritchie does throw something new into the mix-- a female character who's more than up to the challenge of hanging with the tough boys, electrifyingly played by the beyond hotness that is Thandie Newton. We think he's on to something here, and if he's scrounging for another shoot'em up after his Robert Downey/Jude Law Sherlock Holmes, might we suggest an all lady gangster flick?

Girls Richie: Richie's all about the eye candy, and tosses us tossers some lovely ladies besides Thandie. There's Tiffany Mulheron and Quantum Of Solace Bond girl Gemma Arterton, who supposedly was born with six fingers on each hand! Eat that Count Rugen!





Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers


Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
A Teeny Bit Familiar
Trailers & Mo


The world has waited long enuff for the next John Hughes to arrive, and guess we'll have to keep on waiting, cause ever since Home Alone went into sequel mode no one has been even close to occupying the teen film throne that he once sat on. Sure, there's been some enjoyable adolescent one-off romps since the mid-90s like Clueless, American Pie, Bring It On and She's All That (recent pics like Juno and Superbad really aren't the Burt's Bees Knees, so shut it), but none of them carry the teen weight and relevance that a Hughes film did. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist aims for Hughes' territory, but the results are more like John Snooze. Sure, watching the awkward stylings of Michael Cera make cute with the always on-screen sour-puss-edom of Kat Dennings (see, or don't, more of her perma-frowny faces in 40 Year Old Virgin or House Bunny) will be a viewing pleasure for today's 8th thru 12th graders, but for the rest of us, the story of their courtship is juss a bunch of recycled teen movie bits you've seen a zillion times... the plot has them running around NYC in a Yugo (it was funnier and more ironic/moronic when we saw one in Dragnet 20 years ago) searching for a secret gig by their favorite band (Lohan did the same in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen), while they also try to locate their lost friend (straight outta the Adventures In Babysitting playbook), Ari Graynor, who practically steals the film from N&N. Sprinkle in some shitty cameos (did we really need to see the unfunny Andy Samberg as an unfunny homeless guy?) and a hip soundtrack (although we hear about mix CDs, we never see a single playlist!) and that's purty much that. If John Hughes isn't gonna come back to save this genre, we hope someone makes like Clifford Irving and writes a fake autobiography that lures him out of hiding so he can debunk it juss like Howard Hughes did. That may not be the mos original idea nick goings, but it's a heckula lot more interesting than Nick & Norah, which seems to be stuck on shuffle

Nick at Nite: you can visit all the hotspots that N&N hit up with this handy dandy map here

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges


RocknRolla opens today in NYC, LA and Toronto, while Nick & Norah is already playing at a theater new jews

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...


# Jim Mora The Same

Tuesday, October 7

Earmarks The Spot



McCain totally hates $3 million overhead projectors, planetariums, Chicago, and probably Barack Obama

screw both of these guys
and vote for Bob Dole
who's supports abortions for some
and miniature American flags for others!

OK, enuff politics
and mo overhead projector fun!



# Earmarks The Spot

Bearing Gifs





animated gif thread 2008


# Bearing Gifs

Monday, October 6

Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radness







Laser Portraits
via DFB
the same brilliant gent that tipped us to
Sexy People

some say bestest use of lasers since
Zeta-Jones' a$$ in Encrapment


# Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radness

2009 to 5 Hole



there's a reason why Jennifer Ellison won Rear of the Year for 2008, and probably will again in 2009

also peep her 2006 and 2007 calendars (sorry, but 2005 and 2008's are MIA)


# 2009 to 5 Hole